March Comes In Like A...Striped Tie. What, You Expected Something Else From Brian Williams?

* 'Tis March, and BW ushers it in, after a long-deserved Friday off, with a striped tie. Sigh. At least this is one that has been out of the rotation for a time. Its downward-cast diagonals of cornflower and deep navy are rather generous, but not overly wide, but the knot looks a bit puny and inexpertly tied. Lovely, however, is the perfect placement in that knot of the cornflower stripe--centered and gorgeous.

In Which I Not Only Call Brian Williams Out, But I Also Hypothesize

In what must be termed an egregious disregard for not only fashion but his viewing public (and quite possibly his career, in my opinion), Mr. Brian Williams flings all concern and care to the Four Winds and dons the Now Wearying and Tiresome navy and pale gold stripe yet again. As if I even need remind you, this tie has been worn ad nauseum as of late, once it was forced into heavy rotation back in January. It has already been seen thrice in February since the eleventh! One is almost compelled to wonder at the circumstances behind this sartorial tautology. Has he become depressed by the emergence of the Dapper David Gregory as a Fashion Tour de Force? Are he and Mrs. Williams having a bit of a rough patch, and he's just lost interest in his neckwear? Are the Primary Season and the fact that he's working Fridays now causing a bit of a Shift In Priorities? One thing's for certain, whatever the unrest, its result is Cravat Catastrophe!

The Vintage Series Renders Even Stripes Forgivable

Brian finally returns to his Vintage Series and dons the lush stripe of elephant grey and carnelian red. The voluptuous cut but controlled knot lends this cravat an almost Bogart-esque air of classic style. Am I weary of stripes? Yes, but when they are of this quality and cut, I find them forgivable.

I Can Only Look Forward To March

Due to my absenteeism, I cannot make a general condemnation of Brian Williams' midnight blue with slim maroon stripe cravat this evening and say things like "this tie shows Brian's drone-like adherence to stripes as a February Fashion Staple" or "Navy Blue is to Brian Williams what hoopskirts are to Scarlett O'Hara" because that would be unfair. It could very well be that, in my absence as of 21 February, Brian Williams has knotted up a variety of patterned ties in a vast array of pleasing hues. But I doubt it.

Thanks To An Unfortunate Selection From The Lower Tier, I Have Written Off February Entirely

It can always get worse, a particularly Eeyore-esque friend once told me, and the neckwear choice of Brian Williams tonight proves this adage. Stooping to choose from the Lower Tier of Ties, BW plucks forth a tacky and tasteless cravat of jarring ultramarine blue with anorexic lavender stripes. As if the colors weren't sad enough, the fabric appeared cheap, and the knot was wide and so tightly pulled that the entire tie was slightly elevated above the shirt in a sort of pathetic levitation "trick" attempted by a third-rate magician in an elementary school fun festival. Abracadabra--there goes February.

**Due to travelling, The Tie Report will be on hiatus until Monday, February 25th.**

Je Suis Provoqué Au Désespoir

In a headlong rush downhill to Fashion Armageddon, Brian Williams nonchalantly tosses on the exact tie he wore on February 11, not only entering into a horrific repeat cycle, but also making this cravat the tenth striped tie out of thirteen thus far this month. Does anyone recall those halcyon days when this pale gold and deep navy striped tie used to evoke a favorable Tie Report? No? Me, either! Sigh.

Février est une tragédie!

I've Got Nothin'

Stripes. Purple. Gold. And not from the Vintage Series. That's all I've got. Brian Williams is sapping my creativity with his Ceaseless Stripery. Over and out.

BW's Unabashed Repeat Cycles And Stripe Fetish Are Becoming My Undoing

Knock knock. Who's there? Hominy. Hominy who? Hominy ties does BW have, yet he repeats the same striped ones shamelessly, thus dashing my hopes for a Fashionable February? Sadly, Mr. Williams decided to end this February week with the now banal, vapid black and blue striped cravat that has bruised my aspirations for his Fashion Awakening. This pertinacious predilection for knotting up not only striped ties but those he has recently worn (12/11, 1/2, 2,7) in a neverending parade is really starting to wear on me. I fear February--along with my Fashion Sanity--is lost!

Another Disappointment Has Dashed My Hopes For A Fashionable February

Not one to play cutesy and stoop to holiday themed neckwear, Brian instead knots up a violet tie with a grey faux tweed pattern that wreaked havoc on the cameras of The Nightly for the entire newscast. This ill-conceived cravat appeared to shimmy and shake like a go-go dancer with the DT's. My disappointment is boundless; February started out with such promise, and now...je suis desolee.

Brian's Incessant Stripery and Slavishness To Navy Forces Me To Sarcasm (And Pretentiousness)

In a bold departure from his usual style route, Brian Williams dons a...striped tie with a navy blue background! What? What is this? you may ask incredulously. Do not tell me for one insane moment that Brian Williams of "Nightly News" fame has worn A STRIPED TIE WITH THE COLOR OF DEEPEST DARK BLUE AS ITS FIELD HUE! WHY, THIS WOULD BE UNPRECEDENTED IN THE ANNALS OF CRAVAT-WEARING! SURELY YOU JEST!! Oh, but 'tis true. This time, however, there are red stripes slashing across it in a sanguinary attempt at breaking the monotonous parade of gold that had heretofore had viewers in a sartorial stranglehold.

Sighs of relief abound.

I Am Made Unwell By Brian's Tiresome Refusal To Pay Closer Attention To His Tie Timing

If I were not so overcome with ennui, I'd be consumed by outrage and indignation: back to back gold and deep navy stripes. This time, it's the anaemically thin stripe of maize against the so-dark-it's-almost-black navy, but still...did he not just wear a blue and gold stripe yesterday? Yes. Does he not have plenty of worthier ties, even stripes, that he could have worn instead? Yes. Am I starting to wonder if he's just phoning this whole tie thing in? Yes. Should someone be caring just a little bit more than he is? Yes. Wait. I was supposed to be overcome with ennui....Yawn. Okay. Now I'm back to just being bored into Fashion Oblivion by the copiousness of Brian's commonplace cravats. By the sheer plenitude of his tiresome ties that all share the same blue and yellow palette. Urgh.

A Tie Reminiscent Of Egyptian Royalty

Looking regally dapper, BW knots up one of his standby stripes. This tie immediately evokes the famous mask of Tutankhamen with its generous bands of pale gold and deep blue. A tight four-in-hand with subtle dimple keeps this cravat from being ostentatious. Instead, it has a lofty presence about it, a true royal dignity.

The Cleveland Tie

* Brian wears what will now be forever known as his Cleveland Tie, the cravat he wore on location here in The Home Of The Dept. (and I had to miss him in person because NBC kept the official location a secret, but I digress). What reads as a lovely, deep concord online and on film via NBC is in actuality a cheapo-looking jacquard of either plum or, even worse, a red and blue intarsia knit once it is captured on the less-flattering mode of local affiliate videotape. Thanks a lot, WKYC TV3.

Night Sky Tie

Mr. Williams dons one of his more dramatically striped cravats, a bold mix of onyx and lapis lazuli. This tie is the yang to the yin of Monday's breezy stripe, which called to mind a summer afternoon sky. In tonight's cravat, we see instead the mysterious depths of the heavens at midnight, the moon behind her clouds.

Already A Repeat--There Goes February

Sigh. Already putting a debut tie into heavy rotation, Brian repeats his Senior Citizen Cravat of 28 January. This pedestrian offering of deep navy crisscrossed with silvery grey stripes outlined with tomato red is banal and boring. One can almost imagine it being worn in panelled dens by cardigan-sporting men seated in leather Barcaloungers, who call out to their shirtwaist-wearing wives to bring them a highball.

A Happy Reprise Of A Timeless Classic

Brian's run of favorable February ties continues, and I am pleased to see this cravat make a return. As a matter of fact, it represents the Inaugural Post at The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives, and I reprise it here:

"Tonight's tie was oceanic blue with a pewtery cast. It had a classic foulard print, much like one might find in the endpapers of a Dickens classic bound in leather and shelved in the library of a British former poet laureate. This tie was not stodgy, but had the staid presence of a trusted valet who would not only lay out the correct cravat, but also see to it that the laundress folded your socks, never rolled them."

A Zephyr Of Fashion Sense

This cravat is brisk and breezy; its crisp white and cornflower blue stripes are fresh and clean looking. This tie evokes all things light and airy: kites dancing and diving in the cool spring air; a blatting motorboat speedily skimming the surface of a cerulean lake while its cocky pilot waves to those on shore; sails snapping high on the masts as they billow and fill. It is a welcome waft of tie tastefulness.

An Audacious Tie Brings Hope

* Brian ushers in a new month with panache. While some more conservative viewers might see this cravat as flashy, I see it as splendid. The fire engine red is arresting, true, and the staggered black and white bands intercut with narrow cables of white make a bold statement, but taken as a whole, it is a fashion triumph. Wisely, BW reins it all in with a fine, tightly-controlled knot and, most importantly, the fabric is of excellent quality. This is a Top Tier Tie and we have seen precious little of it. Bravo, Brian, bravo! After the Malaise That Was January, we have hope for February.

It's A Stripedy Day In The Neighborhood

Debut Tie. Brian ends the month with no surprises here--a striped tie. This one is a rich ruby with thin stripes of sky blue at wide intervals. It's not a particularly youthful look, and Mr. Williams seems to be headed down a decidedly staid path with his new ties. It has an old-fashioned look, a rather grandfatherly ambience about it, sort of like what Mr. Rogers would wear if he was trying to be a bit bold and fashion-forward. Sigh. I wish I was in charge of things in Brian's fashion neighborhood.

The Nightmare Returns

TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Tacky Tie Is A Perfect Storm Of Questionable Taste

How I wish Brian would retire this cravat. While its dark blue background and narrow carnation pink stripes do not render it egregious, I cannot help but label it tacky. It isn't the pink, which is a color I applaud in fashionable cravats of good quality and impeccable design (a la one David Gregory, connosieur de la cravate rose), nor is it solely the fact that it is striped. It is the lethal combination of the shade of pink--gaudy--the look of the material--cheap--and the size of the stripe--anemic. Taken together, they amount to a tie which most men of style would, if they received it as a gift, die a little inside and make arrangements with their personal assistants to return it immediately...and in disguise.

Stodgy Striped Tie Is A Welcome Transition

Debut Tie. Brian goes from skanky to stodgy with this sedate striped tie. Blue-grey stripes thinly outlined with high-contrast red-orange stuffily arrange themselves at neat, wide intervals against a deep navy background. This is the sort of cravat that would harrumph and cough pointedly at the family reunion when callow young Bert thoughtlessly sat at the head of the table, clearly in violation of custom, which would dictate that Great Uncle Frederick, more mature in years and the family patriarch, had earned that seat by virtue of his age and position.

I Manage To Work In Donna Summer; That's How Horrifying This Tie Is

Debut Tie. At least, I think so. Certainly I would have remembered my gorge rising upon viewing a tie such as this: highway median yellow stripes upon blazer blue is bad enough, but this one I swear looked to be fashioned out of vinyl. Or...dear God, pleather. This is one misbegotten cravat. Not only is it of the same stripe template as so very many of his most banal bestriped ties (and please pronounce it "be-stri-ped", in three syllables), but it is yet another blue-and-yellow, and it is by far the most egregious fabric I have ever witnessed being worn by anyone not wearing platform peep-toes, fishnets, and showing more cleavage than is decent. I know it's Saturday night and not Bri's regular schedule, but he's not workin' that hard for the money.

Again With The Black And White Striped Tie, So A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (Or At Least Four Of His Ties)

This is pretty close. But really, how many black and white striped ties does one need before they become redundant?

The Verdict Is In On This Odd Tie

The last time I saw this tie, I reserved judgment because it debuted on the webcast. Now, having viewed it on the big screen, I'm ready to render a verdict: no. This cravat, with its mulberry field and odd pattern of scarab/snowflake thingies in a kind of iridescent/opalescent white that goes all rainbow-y is just the sort of print one would find on wrapping paper in the Hallmark store at Holiday Time labeled "Designer Christmas Collection." In its efforts to look interesting and high-end, it just comes off as, well...off.

Tastelessness Abounds...In Houndstooth

From the Busy Division of the Purple Collection, Brian plucks the offensive Pulsating Houndstooth. This horrific cravat wounds the viewer on so many levels: its garish sateen fabric, the miniature print that plays havoc with the camera, and the cheap coloration of plasticene purple and white all combine to make this tie a tawdry panoply of tastelessness. In a perfect fashion fiasco, the knot was so over-tightened, it caused the entire tie to fold up at the edge--perhaps in a metaphor of shame at itself.

A Bit Of The Bourgeois

Debut Tie. Rich purple provides the backdrop to gold stripes widely spaced in this tie which is a sort of companion cravat to one in Brian's Vintage Series. Whereas the VS tie looks lush and voluptuous and regal, this one looks a little sparse and bourgeois. And, although this is a Tie Report, I must make reference to the jarring detail of the black pinstripe jacket being paired with this tie. That would not have passed my muster, Monsieur Williams, cela est à coup sûr.

Understated Almost To A Fault

Debut Tie. In what looks like A Salute To The United States Civil War, Brian knots up an unassuming tie of Confederate grey with widely-staggered Federal blue stripes. The fabric looks almost like a fine worsted wool, very seasonally wintry, and the knot was controlled without appearing too tight. This tie was so understated that it was almost nondescript, kind of like extras in a movie scene. They add ambience, but hardly draw attention.

Bonus Brian! The Star Works A Weekend

What's this? Brian, The Star, working The Nightly on Le Weekend? Only primary season can lure him on set on a Saturday. I remember the days when he wouldn't even anchor Fridays...but enough of this reminiscing. There's a Tie To Review.Tonight marks a return to sanity and gravitas as Brian knots up a more classic foulard print of baby-blanket blue with darker blue dots inside a barely-there diagonal grid. It's a serenely assured tie, one which comports itself much like an attentive maitre d' of a five-star restaurant--just the right amount of confident snobbishness, but gracious without being obsequious.

Debut Tie...But Not A Delightful One

A Debut Tie doesn't mean a delightful one, and this cravat just misses its mark for me. Glossy black (again) provides the background for closely arranged, slim stripes of fawn and pale, icy blue. This tie should have looked sophisticated, cool, and urbane...so why didn't it? Was it because of the shiny, chintzy-looking fabric? Was it because the field color was black and provided too much contrast? Was it because the stripes were too crowded together? Would it have been better-looking if there had been no background whatsoever and the fawn and blue had merely been the only two colors? I don't know. But, I'm sure I'll see it again, and I can decide then.

Not The Most Tasteful Of Ties

This tie is definitely one from what I like to call Brian's "Lower Tier of Taste" collection. Glossy onyx with narrow goldenrod stripes, it is the sort of neckwear one would see on a strip-mall jewelry store salesman who stands outside his shop and beckons people inside with patter like, "Hi! How are ya tahday? Are ya lookin' for somethin' sorta sparkly for the little lady perhaps? Need a little bling ta impress the boss? Howzabout a nice watch?" Even worse, Brian coupled this cravat with a black coat and stark white shirt. The contrast was...well, unsuccessful.

The Day After: Solid Periwinkle

Brian is wearing a simple solid of periwinkle. He has worn this tie before.

Sorry, but this is all you get. I'm still recovering from yesterday's "Catastrophe du Cravate." It's kind of like when you're in a minor fender-bender, and you feel pretty okay after it happens, but you wake up the next morning and every muscle in your body hurts. Except I felt really horrid immediately yesterday, and I still feel pretty crappy today. I can't just rebound from something this severe overnight, you know.

No Excuse For This Egregious Repeat Cycle, Brian Williams! NONE!! I Am Driven To Haagen-Dazs

!!!!!!!!! I am almost apoplectic with outrage and shock and dismay and fashion horror. Brian Williams is wearing the same tie he wore on Friday! Oh, yes. Just this past Friday. I hardly need describe it to you; you probably can recall it readily: wide pale gold and deep navy stripes, boring, ordinary. What gives, Brian Williams? This is an absolutely unprecedented, and, I think, unforgivable, repeat cycle and I am just plain beside myself. This is an even more egregious sin than the previous repeat cycle of The Lavender Debate Tie which sent me over the edge last spring. Now I must retire to my fainting couch with my Slanket and a pint of Haagen-Dazs "Sticky Toffee Pudding" ice cream in a probably futile attempt to get over it all.

I Am Tired Of This Tie And I'm Not Afraid To Say It

Brian just wore this tie on 4 January, and frankly, I didn't feel much like reporting on it then, either. It's a sort of knock-off of the much-maligned hyper-patterned tie that I loathe. Mulberry background...green-blue ball-and-stick pattern splayed out on it. I'm tired of it. It's kind of gaudy and it's just an Excuse For Purple From The Busy Division. (Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em.)

Off-Kilter Effort Ruins Any Desired Effect

Tonight Brian knots up a cravat of wide stripes in creamy brushed gold and deep navy blue. The gold is pale and has notes of ivory and pewter, and the navy is so dark that it reads black instead of blue, and were it not for the intimacy of the Nightly's very tight closeup shot, I'd have mistaken it for onyx. This tie is, however, maddeningly pedestrian. It has not the lush splendor of the gold and purple striped tie because of the pallor of the gold, the ambiguity of the navy, and the obesity of the stripe. Also peevish was the skewed nature of the knot and dimple this evening. Tossed the whole lot off for me. Sorry.

Textbook Tie By Brian...With A Scary Side of David Gregory

This evening, the Nightly's cameraperson zoomed in and provided a very tight shot at BW's tie. The background was revealed to be a jacquard woven silk blend of garnet, and the small sparse polka dots were ivory with fine rims of black. The jacquard itself looked to be black in its underweave, but more importantly, the dimple was precisely in the middle, perfectly teardrop in shape, and the four-in-hand knot could have appeared in a Tie Textbook photo. This tie, had it been in a Cravat Show, would have won Best Overall in Technique.

On a side note, I must, with a very heavy heart, take a moment and comment upon the Catastrophe That Was The Tie of David Gregory, Chief White House correspondent. It looked, quite simply, like an open jar of some very, very scary orange marmalade. Even more terrifying is the fact that it was accompanied by...a matching pocket square. If you must go to the webcast and view it for yourself (and I understand, really I do), consider yourself warned.

Purple, Yes, But Ever So Tasteful

If you must wear a purple tie, then this is the Purple Tie To Wear. Deep, rich concord silk is scattered with small, almost picaresque ovals of white rimmed with barely-blue. This gorgeous cravat has been absent since 5 December, and it has been missed. Its tasteful lushness brings to mind well-placed cushions brought by unobtrusive servants who quietly slip a bolster behind the small of your back as you lean forward ever so slightly to add a slice of lemon to your Earl Grey.

Brian Lets Me Down, And On A Primary Night, Too

TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Cette Cravate...Est Peut-Etre Une Catastrophe

As Debate Season is upon us, Brian pulls out his Debate Tie, the one that first plagued us when the Political Season began, back in Spring 2007. Brian put the solid lavender in heavy rotation and perpetrated one of The Most Shameless Repeat Cycles ever, prompting a relatively uncharacteristic Tie Report Meltdown. And...ce n'est pas joli. I fear that cette cravate, coupled with Friday's, does not bode well for my sanity.

Annoying Tie Is Too Similar To Other Annoying Tie

*This tie is the cousin of the much-loathed Byzantine/mosaic/stained glass tie that is fast becoming relegated to TWSNLBRAINDTM status. Oh, its background is indeed a lovely claret, and the contrasting color is a rather innocent turquoise, but the befuddling spraddled Tinker Toy pattern is just annoying and off-putting. And, its aforementioned similarity to the other tie, well, it's just bothersome.

Iowa Caucus Republican Tie

Oh, Brian, how I loathe this cheap-looking tie. Yes, you took what was perhaps in conservative, Fundamentalist Iowa, a "fashion risk", wearing a deep navy tie with "faggy" rose-colored stripes, like some kind of "girly-man" might wear. At least the stripes were skinny, a meek defender might say, not big and fat, and maybe you thought they were more of a purplish color, not so pink. But how would that conservative Christian guns-n-butter voter defend the cheap quality of that fabric, huh? Oh yeah...Wal*Mart.

School Supply Tie

This tie, with its black and blue stripes, reminds me of getting ready for back-to-school. Each second week of August, I would buy a box each of blue and black Papermate Write Bros. pens and empty them into the school supply drawer at the Dept. of Nance for the boys and I to grab as necessary. This cravat reminds me of looking into that drawer.

Irksome Striped Cravat

* A poor tie all around, from its pinched, meager knot to its sinisterly dark navy field upon which skinny yet ostentatiously fuschia stripes straggled. This cravat made me feel uneasy and irked, as if I had eaten something I didn't really want and knew I shouldn't have had, and didn't enjoy it all that much to begin with. But it was there, and I was hungry, and well...you know how that goes.

Has He No Shame?

TWSNLBRAINDTM. Again already!

Warm Holiday Tie

In a subtle, tasteful nod to the Holiday Season upon us, Brian dons a charming tie of warm, crimson red with small, widely-spaced ivory polka dots. It's a sort of subdued and mellow tie, but friendly and genial, much like a rumbly chuckle from a favorite uncle as he unwraps that pair of purple Argyle socks you gave him just because you know he'd actually wear them to church and cross his legs so everyone can see them.

Aquatic Ballet Cravat

Brian returns to stripes with this striking cravat of deep dolphin grey and surf white. The contrast brings to mind porpoises arcing smoothly out of the water in a mysterious yet playful aquatic ballet, their bodies glistening wetly as they break the surface of the sea. The tops of their smooth bodies gleam, and for a moment you can glimpse grey, then white before they dive again.

A Contradiction In Terms Kind Of Tie

*Dammit, Brian! Why must you debut a good cravat on a night when dinner at the Dept. runs late? I am then forced to describe a less than crisp and therefore less than satisfying version on my monitor. And from the look of it, this is a tie I would have enoyed seeing on the big screen in all its electrifying, hyacinth glory, what with its engaging pattern of sort of yin-and-yangesque shaded spherical thingies arranged symmetrically in a rather Zen garden kind of way. It was all rather breathtaking and energetic, yet calming and serene. Rather oxymoronic in a paradoxical sense, that tie. And I had to experience the compact vastness of it all a day late and on my computer screen. Some things are just perfectly imperfect.

Forecaster's Tie

* Tonight, Brian knots up a tie of dusky iris blue with petite white window frames arrayed in martial columns. It's frostily analogous to the wintry forecast for the Great Lakes and Northeast regions of the U.S., who will soon be socked in with blizzard conditions for the weekend. We'll all be staring out of icy windowpanes, rubbing our bluish fingertips in an effort to instill some warmth to them while we listen to the snowy winds pound against our homes, knowing that Christmas shopping undone will have to stay that way for yet another few days, and perhaps we will at least get a Snow Day out of this raw deal from Mother Nature.

Jelly Top Tie

This tie reminds me of my Aunt Louise. She used to give us homemade jelly that she sealed with paraffin wax. Sometimes, the paraffin didn't hold its seal, and when we took off the thick, waxy lid, we'd find an icky bunch of bluish-green blobs sitting on top of the lovely deep red currant jelly. This cravat, although a pleasant enough one, takes me back to those rather disheartening surprises. It looks amazingly like those moldy jelly tops, albeit more symmetrical.

Yet Again

TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Cette Cravate Est Une Petite Tragedie

This is a tie that harmonizes in a smooth, mellow basso. It is the voice of James Earl Jones saying "This...is CNN." Its generous, yet not wide stripes are of ebony and indigo--dark, mysterious, and suggesting midnight. A cravat such as this should have deserved an extra backward glance before it went before the camera but, alas! it appeared before us crooked. Sigh. Une petite tragedie!

Purple, Yet Completely Acceptable

This gorgeous, jewel-tone solid tie is, yes, another purple and another solid, but its color is so deep and so saturated and of such a luscious red-violet that it is more than acceptable. Also in its favor is the fabric, a nubby, woven finish that, despite the oh-so-obliging Nightly cameraperson's extreme close-up, continues to defy my absolute identification as raw silk, worsted wool, or even a sort of linen. Add the small, tight four-in-hand (omnipresent) and the perfect, centered dimple, and it almost made me forget that it was a solid purple tie in the end. Admittedly, that is a good thing and, therefore, a good tie.

Brian Fancies Himself Une Artiste De Cravate

* Zebras, Goth girl thigh-highs, raccoons and referees--that's all I can think of when Bri knots up one of his many tiresome black-and-white striped ties. Oh, sure, they're bold and graphic-y, and when he first wore one I gave him a fashion thumbs-up for making an Andy Warholian sort of statement with his neckwear. But then he trotted out another and another in rather rapid succession and I realized he was having his own sort of Brian Williams Does Graphics Around His Neck series art show. I can't get behind that, even as I pride myself on being a supporter of les Artes.

Understated, Yet Saying Plenty

This cravat has been on hiatus for eons. Long had we been deprived of its lovely scarlet background with its intarsia effect, its small ivory wells rimmed with black, giving it the overall ambience of a very mature, very sedate polka dot pattern. It is the wit of Stoppard, the piquance of a Sangiovese, the simple, uncluttered appeal of a still life painting. This is the way to do understatement with statement.

Regal Debut Tie Reminiscent of Queen Anne Wingback

A Debut Tie. A deep, rich plum provides the background for tiny, almond-shaped figures that first appear Chinese white, but when the camera closes in, the careful observer can detect that they are outlined in the palest sky blue. These figures dance back and forth in a traditional cravat pattern that looks both elegant and sophisticated. The fabric looks as if it just might be found covering the deep, accomodating wings of a Queen Anne chair in Her Majesty's sitting room in Windsor Castle. It's regal, sedate, yet fashionably tasteful and would garner the smiling approval of the most discerning critic.

Brian Drives Me To Red Bull

* From the Conservative Collection, Brian knots up the navy blue with narrow gold stripes. Sigh. Yawn. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz--Oh, I'm sorry. Wasn't I done? Actually, I believe I am.

A Cravat Of A Certain Caliber

Perhaps this cravat is BW's salute to the Second Amendment, for all I could think about when The Nightly's obliging cameraperson zoomed in for a tight shot was the view from a sniper's sight when he aims his rifle at his prey. You know, that little circle with the cross-hatching? Well, there they were, tightly-packed, deep violet ones sprayed like bullet holes on a field of icy hyacinth blue. Which is not to say that this is an unpleasant or unsuccessful tie, fashionably speaking. It is to say that it will take another viewing to rid this tie of its unfortunate...shall we say ballistic associations so that I can render a more objective verdict.

Tie Fatigue Leads To Unprecedented Guest Reviewer

Because I have grown increasingly embattled and weakened by Brian Williams's steadfast resolve to: A) stop wearing certain hideous ties; B) work in a few ties from other color palettes; and C) refuse to read my Tie Reports and/or take them as Serious Fashion Advice, I will give over the Tie Report to a guest reviewer who will offer his take on tonight's tie, which was the pewtery blue field with Prussian blue dots.

Rick: I like this tie.

Banal Blue Stripes In Shocking Repeat Cycle Causes Ctrl Key Episode

All right! Now just what is going on over there at The Nightly!? In a shocking and--well, I'm just going to say it--shameless repeat cycle, Brian Williams dons the pedestrian and bourgeois navy and light blue stripe of yes, November 23rd! This repeat cycle is only bested by the repeat cycle of ...the lavender solid tie, (which was just worn day before yesterday) when it was worn twice within 5 days earlier this spring. Good heavens, tonight's tie, rerun or not, makes BW look like he is dressed for his school pictures. With his white shirt, navy blazer, and carefully coiffed hair, all that is missing is the little St. Something's crest on the breast pocket. Holy Ctrl key, Brian! Would you get a grip on your cravat matrix before I have to come down there to 30 Rock and add me to your Favorites?

Tacky Tie--Could It Be An Omen?

If I didn't know better, I'd say that Bri is reading The Tie Report and is toying with me. He knows I hate this tie, the tacky popsicle-y purple with dental floss white stripes. It brings to mind those odd jelly candies one finds in foreign food shops, or horrid children's clothes at dollar stores with vaguely psychotic-looking unlicensed cartoon characters on them and oblique little sayings like "I'm beary fun!" or "Bike Boss." Tonight, if he wears the Psychedelic Goth Tie or the TWSNBRAINDTM, it's definitely a sign. Definitely.

Back In The Saddle Again

I knew it wouldn't be long before Brian knotted up this old standby from the campaign trail. True, he hasn't trotted it out into the show ring since 1 November, but after it was branded with such shame back in the spring, I thought it deserved to be put out to pasture for good. That was not to be, however, for it is, after all, a Purple, and we know how BW loves his Purples. This solid lilac cravat is in his stable for good, and we had better get used to it.

Banal And Brown--The Lunchbag Tie

No longer am I excited by this cravat, Brian's one real off-ramp from his turnpike of purple and blue. The brown paper bag banality of it has finally worn thin, like the lunch bag your mom made you keep using Monday through Friday, her contribution not only to keeping a tight rein on the family budget, but also to the idea of conservation and teaching you to be frugal and responsible. True, there are no grease spots from leaking peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or yellowy smears of mustard on Brian's brown tie, but the color and overall ambience are the same.

Safe, Taciturn, Timid--A Tie Of Conservativism

Hey, Brian? Could we have played it any safer than this tie? Because, I don't know, navy blue with baby blue half-inch stripes arranged modestly about every two inches or so is about as stodgy and reticent as one can get when wearing a navy blue suit. Were you, perhaps, having Second Thanksgiving Dinner with the Other Side of the Family directly after the Nightly and they are Conservative Republican Right-to-Lifers whose heroes are Rush Limbaugh, Jesus, and Billy Graham in that order? Do they frown upon Ann Coulter because, although they agree in principle with her politics, she just looks a little slutty to them? Because, this tie says all of that in one swath of neo-con navy and light blue stripe, Brian, it really does.

Bad Tie Mojo, Man

This is the tie that pushes me dangerously close to deciding to create an entire cadre of cravats that fall under the category of TWSNLBRAINDTM. I am sick of this godawful thing, a sort of neo-Gothic, mod Peter Max-esque pattern of red, purple, white and maybe blue, maybe not that really has a whole lotta ugly going on. It's Bad Tie Mojo, man, really bad, and oh my god, I just typed that in an awfully authentic Austin Powers accent. Do you see what you and your horrid tie are doing to me, Brian Williams? It's like you don't even care, baby, yeah.

I Must Recuse Myself

*It's vexed I am, having watched Brian Williams on the webcast due to a Sisters Night Out, and at first glance, completely ready to pronounce the tie his black and white stripe, but then noticing he was wearing a light blue shirt with navy suit! It is doubtful Brian would make this sort of Borderline Fashion Statement cum Faux Pas! Could this tie actually be a deep navy stripe instead? I find that I cannot be entirely certain, hampered as I am by the limits of an enlarged picture on my computer monitor. I must, therefore, recuse myself from completely reviewing and critiquing this cravat. Forgive me; I have failed you.

Sigh. Why Again, Brian, Why? Will It Never Go Away?

TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Cravat Confection

The overall color of this tie is the rich, deep, full-bodied hue of Smucker's strawberry jam. It even has that gorgeous glossiness to it. And the narrow white stripes are so defined, so dimensional, that they look like the white piped icing from the top of a Hostess cupcake--only precise and straight, not squiggly. This is a cravat confection, a treat of a tie for us tonight, a little knotted-up nosh of sweet goodness to make the news more palatable.

Debut Tie Goes Awry

A Debut Tie. Soft sandwashed silk gave this chambray blue cravat an easy, sueded look; its narrow white stripes were almost as shiny as ribbons, proving too stark a contrast. This tie was a fashion paradox, chaotic to the eye, like seeing Legos on a pizza or your Grandpa in a Speedo. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still...while the color was nice, and the stripes were nice, together it was just a poorly executed cravat.

Loathsome Tie

I hate this tie. It looks tacky and cheap, with its ultramarine blue background and staggered wide mulberry swaths with more mulberry pinstripes between. It's the kind of tie that just looks icky and ready to wrinkle, or worse, just waiting for a greasy stain to show up smack dab on the center of it. Its colors aren't bold in a designer sort of way, but in a Wal*Mart sort of way. This is simply a horrendous, atrocious, repellent, and abominable tie. I loathe it.

Early Retirement For This Debut Tie

Standing at the end of a Ford truck assembly line in a cavernous factory, Brian scarcely needed any of the huge studio lights brought along by the crew to this Detroit area location. His startling cravat was bright enough. Stripes of arresting blue that rivaled the most vivid sialia currucoides alternated with those of blaring fire engine red. The fabric, unless my eyes deceived me, was glossy, shiny chintz! This Debut Tie should be put into Early Retirement. Immediatement. What, Brian Williams, what were you thinking?

Live From Cleveland, Ohio!

Reporting live from rainy Cleveland, Ohio, Brian stood under a streaming tarpaulin roof at an undisclosed location in the Flats riverbank district. Lucky for the Nightly viewers, he eschewed his oversized shirts normally reserved for more exigent on-location reports and instead sported a solid of tightly jacquard-knit plum. How do I know it was not just a run-of-the-mill matte silk, dark purple tie? Because I saw Bri on good old local-affiliate WKYC videotape, that's how. And now that I've determined it's not a solid plum...thumbs down.

A Kingly Cravat

Ah, this gorgeous tie! Mellow, burnished gold alternates with royal purple in this striped cravat. Its generous cut and rich colors remind us that it is from Brian's much-lauded Vintage Series. The fabric hearkens back to lush draperies of heraldic colors around castle portals, or the sumptuous ball gowns and waistcoats of ladies and their lords. This is a tie of taste, and would that we saw more of it.

Onyx And Indigo Cast Their Spell

Tonight, Mr. Williams looks debonair in a generous, but not wide, stripe of onyx and muted indigo with a matte satin finish. Dark and alluringly mysterious, this cravat calls up the spectre of a wizard's cape or a necromancer's billowing robes as the spell-caster stands before a flashing pyre.

Big Purple Tie

All right, there's no other way to say it. This is just a big purple tie. It's solid purple. And all I could think of when I saw it was this.

Brainteaser Tie

Brian's tie tonight, a black and white stripe, reminds me of those brainteaser puzzles that teachers and psychology professors show you of the two lines that look like this:

<-------->
>--------<

The instructor then asks you, "Which line looks longer to you?" And, of course, you answer that the line with the outward arrowheads looks the longer of the two, and you are wrong! because the lines are actually the same; it's a perception thing. Well, Brian's tie tonight has that whole business going on: the black stripes and the white stripes just might be the same width, but who can really be sure? The white ones look like they might be narrower, but it's awfully hard to tell. Besides, it's just a tie, and really, no one's paying me to do this.

Where, Oh Where Is The Elusive Green Tie?

Favoring relentless stripiness, almost as if he was eager to step back into his comfort zone after a turn as guest host on Saturday Night Live, Brian Williams dons the navy blue crossed with narrow sky blue diagonals. Sigh. I suppose it was too much to ask that he would find a new confidence, a new spirit, a new savoir faire, and perhaps, just this once, wear that piece de resistance, a green tie. So far, this cravat--The Lost Chord of Cravats, as it were--remains unrevealed to us. I know it's out there somewhere...somewhere.

Oh...THAT Tie

TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Distance Lends Perspective To The Lavender Solid

* Brian returns to an old favorite and one of my Fashion Nemeses, the lavender solid cravat. This particular tie starred in a shocking repeat cycle in the spring and raised my ire to towering heights. "One day, you'll look back on this and laugh, " I assured myself. That day is today. But don't push it, Bri. Do not push it.

Cloudburst On Classic Levis

Tonight, Brian wore a cravat of light indigo peppered with deep blue polka dots. It reminded me of the days when I used to hang my vintage Levis on the clothesline in my mom's backyard so they could fade naturally to the classic vintage blue. Some summer days, the heat would build enough that a passing shower would erupt, and I would run out and grab the jeans off the line as the raindrops darkened the denim here and there with spots of the freshwater that fell from the glowering clouds.

Plummy Mystery

* Sadly, parent conferences did not allow me to see this tie properly, and I am bereft. It was impossible to view it in detail on the webcast. All I could make out was a rich, plummy background sprinkled with a white pattern and perhaps, perhaps something in a chestnut or cinnamon, but perhaps not, for it might have been a pixellated trick of shadowing. Sigh. Forget it. I'll have to wait for him to wear it again.

Heavenly Tie--Literally

Looking almost celestially sophisticated, Brian rebounds from a Terrible Tie Week with a simply beautiful cravat with stripes of midnight and watercolored violet blue. The fabric's finish is slightly glazed, the knot precise. This is a tie that confers refinement and discernment. Its palette is evocative of the cosmos at night. It's an intergalactic triumph.

Scary Clown Costume Tie

* It's a fabric that would be perfect for the big ballooning costume of a birthday-party clown: shiny white patterned with a hallucinogenic purple houndstooth that seems to flicker and dance like chaser lights on a house overly decorated for the Christmas holidays. Instead, in a tragic turn of events, this material has been fashioned--and I use the term oh so very loosely--into a tie of sorts for Our Own Brian Williams. Worse, he has chosen yet again to wear it for a broadcast of The Nightly. And I watched. Oh, the horror.

Fake Stained Glass Cravat Catastrophe

No longer on location, Bri is back in studio and sporting a Cravat Catastrophe. This tie reminds me of that cheapo film you can buy by the roll in catalogs like Lillian Vernon and stick on your window to make it look like fake stained glass. It's that hideous bluey-reddy-purply patterned trainwreck-of-a-tie that I thought I had run out of analogies for. Apparently not.

Another On-Location Disaster...Shirt

On location in fire-ravaged SoCal, Brian subjects already horrified and displaced Californians to one of his tragic shirts: ill-fitting, flapping, oddly-colored...I just cannot go on. Haven't these poor people been through enough? Is FEMA prepared to deal with the PTSD caused by BW's FFP*? I cannot go on.

*fashion faux pas

The Brown Tie

Once he introduced this tie to us on 31 August, Brian hasn't been shy about tossing it on. This corky cravat has made three appearances now, and its cryptic center crease, though fading, is still visible ever so slightly when the tie is subject to my laserlike scrutiny. The color is definitely a designer's shade like "African Savannah" or "Primeval Timber", but you just know BW calls it The Brown Tie.

The Warmth Of Heart's Ease

* This evening, Brian knots up a solid of deep plum. This tie is like gazing into the throat of one of the first pansies of spring--velvety, dark, and holding the promise of warmth in its soft purple grasp. It is quiet and calm; the old-fashioned name for this blossom was once Heart's Ease, and it describes the effect of this cravat, one of the few of Brian's Purples that I don't mind seeing.

A Subtle Nod To The Tribe

Brian subtly shows his allegiance to the young, battling Cleveland baseball team yet again with this Indians blue and baseline chalk white striped cravat. Hoping that the Tribe wraps things up in due course tonight, are you, BW? Me, too!

Like A Recurring Nightmare, It...Recurs. Again. Whatever.

Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. (But if you're curious, you can read a description of it here and here and here at The Brian Williams Tie Report Archive.)

Life Imitates Art

Brian's cravat tonight evokes a lush 17th century Dutch still life. One can almost see the voluptuous red pears temptingly piled next to a creamy white chunk of farmer's cheese when looking at this garnet tie with its narrow white diagonal pinstriping. A work of sartorial art? Ja.

A Study In Prussian Blue

Imagine dipping your wet watercolour brush into Prussian Blue and dragging it across a damp, glossy paper in a broad, bold stroke that got fainter and fainter as your brush drew nearer the end. That furthest colour is the hue of Brian's tie this evening. Now, go back and dip that brush into the Blue again, but twirl the ends upon your palette, forming a stylus point, and plop dark dots of paints in symmetrical, patterned spots equidistant from each other upon that light Prussian Blue tint. There is the cravat Brian knotted up this evening. What a welcome change from the aberration of last night.

Misbegotten Cravat Selection

*Brian, Brian, Brian. What a giant leap backward into the trenches of Fashion Misbegottenia for you. This garish noose of navy blue bludgeoned by skinny magenta stripes is such a comedown after the bold debut of yesterday's stylistic cravat. A fabric such as this is far better suited to a confectioner's box or perhaps a milliner's advert. Certainly it does not belong about the neck and upon the torso of a trusted newsman such as yourself. Do let's try again, shall we?

The World-Touring, Time-Traveling Tie

A Debut Tie! This tie, viewed from a distance, looks like the pelt of a Masai giraffe. But when the Nightly cameraman performs his magic, the closeup reveals a dramatically different cravat, one strangely evocative of so many other things. First, autumnal gold and black Indian corn. Then, its pattern evokes the eggy batter of cornmeal waffles pooling around the grids of a non-stick waffle iron. What a thought-provoking tie, Brian Williams! It sends the viewer's eyes from the African savannah to the ragged edge of the New World settlements to the breakfast buffet.

Scary Center Crease: Quelle Horreur!

One would think Mr. Williams could get more of the Mysterious Center Crease removed from his Friday Casual Khaki Tie, seeing as how he was off all day on Tuesday, but alas! 'Twas not to be. The longitudinal fold was omnipresent and puzzling, just as it was on 21 September. Certainly the intervening 19 days or so allowed enough time for its removal, whether by a professional or even by Brian or Mrs. Williams and a teakettle. Je suis très confusee! Quel est le problème ici ? I cannot be the only one to see it! Is this a Haley Joel Osment moment? "I see slovenly cravats. Only, they don't know they're creased!"

Le Nightly Est Sans Brian Ce Soir

Brian and his pro-Cleveland tie of last night were apparently still celebrating, for anchor desk duties at The Nightly were ably helmed by the lovely and talented Ann Curry this evening. Brian and a new cravat are promised for tomorrow. Way to dress down those divas, Tribe! Bring on the Red Sox!

Brian Sends Me A Surreptitious Sports Message

Tonight, Brian subtly sends a message to me and all other fans of the Cleveland Indians with his navy blue tie banded by bold red stripes. GO TRIBE! BEAT THOSE YANKEES!

A Delectable Tie

*Tonight, Brian knots up a lovely deep plum solid cravat that is evocative of so many pleasant things. One thinks of the comforting grape jelly of the PB&J packed in brown paper lunch bags, or the summery smear of blackberry pie filling on a white dessert plate as the fork scrapes up that last little bit of fruit and crust. Or, that exotic cocktail you had, made with creme de cassis at the expensive, chic restaurant. Mmmmmm. Une cravate delicieux!

The Cravat That Ate Good Taste

It's like The Murphy's Law of the tie world. When this particular cravat is viewed from a distance, it first looks like a cheap, thistle-colored solid from the 50% off After-Easter Sale table at Wal*Mart. But then, when The Nightly's cameraman tightens the shot, the true hideousness of this fashion faux pas is revealed: an itsy-bitsy luminescent violet and white houndstooth pattern so irritating that it seems to pulse and animate in a throbbing, heaving miasma of satin.

Dear God, make it stop.

An Homage? Yet I Show Fashion Fatigue

Go Michigan! Go Navy! Go West Virginia University! Go Admiral King High School! Go College Park Elementary School! Sigh. I'm real sick of this tie: cobalt blue knifed with brilliant narrow yellow stripes. Is it a tribute to a school he once attended? Perhaps an homage to The Boy Scouts of America? My fatigue over speculating about its symbolism is exceeded only by my weariness of the tie itself. What would refresh me right about now is a nice paisley or a good shot of green, Mr. Williams. A green tie would be an oasis in a desert of stripes and solids. It would be a freshet in an arid wasteland of blue and purple and solids. Rejuvenate me, Brian Williams, before I perish in a desolate tundra of fashion oblivion!

Brian Takes The Road Less Traveled

A debut tie! This evening, Brian knots up a soft, burnished gold cravat with widely-spaced black stripes shot with a narrow white band. All I could think of was how one day, when Grandpa Brian hefts his little grandson onto his lap, said grandson could drive his little Hot Wheel cars all along those stripes, for they look exactly like miniature highways fashionably crossing his cravat. Perhaps one is called Armani Motorway, still another Tyrwhitt Turnpike. Vroom vroom vroom! In this age of excess, Brian shows how fashion forward he is with multifunction neckwear.

Brian Phones In The Slate And Chalk Stripe

After a long weekend, this is what we get, Brian Williams? The slate and chalk stripe? Oh, yes, you looked snappy enough, and the cravat had a lovely, tight four-in-hand, tied expertly enough so that the stripes gathered at the corner, giving the appearance of rays radiating from the base of the knot, but, oh, I don't know.... I just expected something more. True, having to follow the cool polish of Ann Curry is never easy, but it's like you felt you didn't even have to try. No one likes to be taken for granted, Brian, especially the person who takes such pains to detail your fashion decisions.