Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Report's Hiatus Continues

The Report finds itself not only sans cravate, but entirely sans Monsieur Williams aussi. As Le Star, Brian can take as much time as he wishes over The Holidays. Naturally, we hope not only for a speedy return to The Nightly, but that Santa--a frequent reader of The Report--had a few stylish surprises in his bag for Brian.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Brian Williams Makes A Tie Turnaround...And We Are Impressed

Recovering nicely, Mr. Williams dons a cravat of ebony with pale, creamy yellow stripes so narrow that they are almost like pinstriping. This tie is like a jeweler offering you a lovely array of fine, delicate gold chains spread upon a black velvet display platform. There is a quiet elegance, a sense of the exquisite without the ostentatious, and good taste without stuffiness.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

In Which I Must Query As To The Wisdom Of This Latest Selection

Brian stoops to his Lower Tier of Taste and selects the deep orchid cravat with slim white stripes for tonight's cravat. The question is "Why?" Why choose such an obviously Spring/Summer tie? Why opt for one that is reminiscent of those nightmarish ready-made vinyl Easter baskets that one can find at the drugstore containing hideous cello-wrapped "toys" made in far-off banana republics, and by children who are likely tethered to their dangerous and filthy work stations? (And, while I'm on a roll, so to speak, was that the same pale blue shirt and navy sportcoat you were wearing last night?)

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Remember June, July, And August? It Would Seem That Brian Does...

In a complete about-face, Brian pays a brief homage to Bygone Summer with tonight's cravat. Its Mediterranean blue background and staggered clusters of three narrow white stripes transport us to warmer months when we lugged our coolers full of icy drinks to the beach, along with our big sunbrellas and our beach totes, ready to catch some rays and bask in the relaxing, cocoa-butter scented ambience that is L'été.

'Tis The Season For This Merry Cravat

Tonight, Brian knots up the most Christmassy tie in his collection, the crimson cravat with ash-colored petite medallions scattered upon it. In the Spirit of the Season, it evokes the image of Santa, home from his Trip at last, his suit still sprinkled with the last few flecks of soot from the chimneys of the many Nice Girls and Boys on his List.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Only Thing Necessary For The Triumph Of Evil Is For Good Men To...Be Apathetic Regarding Their Cravat Selection*

In spite of the season, Brian dons a member of The Axis Of Evil: The Gadgety Tie.

*title quote with apologies to Edmund Burke

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Purple Pair Provokes A Fit of Pique

If you felt yourself doing one of those Cartoon Eyeball Moments--you know, where you do an exaggerated double-take and your eyeballs remain fixed at the original spot while your head and neck are still whiplashing around--because you could have sworn that Brian just wore this tie day before yesterday, relax. This is the Fashion Twin I spoke of on 10 December and again on 20 October and 23 October when he wore these two cravats in rapid succession. But, whatever. This one, the deep purple with narrow black stripes bordered with pristine white is...oh, forget it. Click the links. Now I'm just irked.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Brian Williams' Not-Quite-Excellent Adventure

The tie selection tonight is the rather strange one of indigo patterned with a miniscule checkerboard or houndstooth of grey that is so subtle that it is almost indistinct. Yet, one can tell that it is there, for it gives this cravat a disappointing trompe l'oeil effect, giving the viewer at first the sinking feeling that Brian, on a sort of Nostalgia Trip, has knotted up one of those horrid knit ties from the Eighties. Dude, that is so bogus.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Report Waxes Philosophical Regarding Purple And Stripes And Variations On A Theme

A field of dusky plum is crossed by wide black stripes edged in white for tonight's cravat. This is one of Brian's many, many striped and purple ties; indeed, it has a Fashion Twin in deeper violet. Here at The Report, we don't let that stop us from enjoying each offering as a Separate Entity. This one, for example, has a lovely colouration, but its fabric seems stiff and somewhat cheap, causing it to lie oddly. The knot, however--une autre triomphe!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Warm, Convivial Sort Of Cravat

Debut Tie. A beautiful offering tonight as Brian Williams knots up a deeply saturated silk of rich burgundy with slim burnished gold stripes, widely spaced. The knot is tight and there is no dimple tonight, just a pinch-pleat. Imagine looking down into a gold chalice brimming with mulled wine, the aroma of warm cinnamon, star anise, and nutmeg enveloping you as the rim glints, beckoning you to drink and be merry.

Monday, December 8, 2008

It's Really Two Ties In One--Does Ronco Have A Cravat Line?

Tonight, Brian knots up his Dress It Up/Dress It Down Pseudo-Formal Cravat. The stripes are generous, but not too wide, of deepest navy and pale gold, and it is knotted expertly with a small, centered dimple. This tie is the black skirt in a woman's wardrobe--wear it with a silk shirt, toss on a pair of Italian shoes and some jewelry, and you've got an evening outfit. Put on a sweater and a pair of comfy slip-ons, and you're ready for the office or a conference with Biffy's teacher. It's all about the look.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Jeeves, Get Me My Slippers

Mr. Williams wears a favourite of The Report, the garnet cravat of intarsia silk dotted with widely staggered, petite medallions of ashen ivory rimmed in black. This fabric evokes warmth and relaxation. It is a smoking jacket and a fine cigar in front of a flickering fire, brandy on the table next to the chair, and faithful setter on the rug nearby. Good boy.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Frosty Cool Cravat

Tonight's cravat is a lovely matte silk from the Purple Collection. But what a Purple! This tie is a frosty scoop of boysenberry sorbet, rich but not overpowering, cool but not pastel. It's a Tie For All Seasons. (And I would be remiss were I not to mention its perfectly sized and centred dimple! Très merveilleux!)

Monday, December 1, 2008

Yes, Brian, There Is Such A Thing As A "Winter Tie"

With the donning of a simple cravat, Brian Williams denies the very existence of December, Winter, and Seasonal Fashion all in one fell swoop. This tie of Microsoft blue with its staggered trios of narrow white stripes is, after all, a Spring/Summer Tie. It looks breezy enough to be the fabric of patio settee throw pillows, or the unisex ascots of cruise ship staff who wander huge blue and white ships while dressed in crisp, snappy-looking white shirts with lots of buttons and tabs and faux epaulets everywhere. This blue and white tie is nautical, brisk, and practically lifted the corner of my afghan as it blew breezily into my home. It's time to put this one--like cork-soled espadrilles and linen pants--away until at least late April.