Monday, March 31, 2008

March Wrap-Up Becomes An Exercise In Futility...Almost

Brian wraps up the month with a return to one of his go-to ties. This oddly patterned cravat of cranberry and sky blue defies adequate description: Just what is this print? Is it a repeating sort of thing, or an interconnected, all-over thing? Finally, inspiration seized me while flipping channels--it looks just like a corps of little K Mart blue light guys, all standing at attention. Yeah, that's it! Ten-hut! Mr. Blue Lights! Special on aisle BW! Tiresome cranberry cravat in need of...oh, forget it. Too cutesy for me. I'm ready to retire this one, clearly.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Bold And Billowing, Despite Its Tedious Palette

Debut Tie. I hate to even call this a Debut Tie since it is yet another gold and blue stripe, but this one at least is boldly gold and brilliantly blue, and the stripes are not stripes, but swathes. This cravat is so bold, so ostentatiously daring, that it actually looks to be billowing on his chest like some sort of royal banner or ensign being proudly carried onto the field of battle. Were it not for his tiresome array of ties already in this particular color duo, I'd be giddy over this one. As it stands, I am merely giving it a queenly nod, much like Elizabeth II to her subjects as she rides along in her car in public events.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Close Encounter Of The Egregiously Repeating Tie Kind

This is without a doubt the most egregious Tie Repetition ever perpetrated by Brian Williams. This particular cravat was just worn on 21 March, which was 4 ties ago, due to an intervening weekend. And this is not even a repeat-worthy tie! This cravat's color actually makes me uneasy--it bears an uncomfortable similarity to raw dark meat of chicken...or raw sushi-grade tuna...or, when viewed from a bit farther, the pink kidney beans. Bleah. And then there's the weird shifty print it has going on. And, hey! What was up with that enormous dimple? That thing was just mutant! It took up half the tie! Sorry, but there was so much wrong with this tie, that it was downright Roswellian. I may have to watch this again on the webcast and see if there were any little green men looking over Brian's shoulder.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Seduction Of A Spring Tie

"Think Spring," coos this lovely lilac matte silk tie from upon the chest of Brian Williams this evening. "Do not look out the back window and accept the reality of the glacial ice still hulking on your deck. Instead, close your eyes and dream of lilacs in bloom, soft bunnies cuddling close, the warm scent of hyacinth wafting on a gentle zephyr, and your adorable pink leather Etienne Aigner bag just waiting to come out of storage." Sigh.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

In Which I Am Forced To Haul Out Some Major Vocabulary To Compensate For A Tie Which Is Truly Lacking

Dwelling still in the Lower Tier of Taste, Brian Williams revisits this regrettable cravat of violet blue crossed with narrow yet audaciously vivid stripes of the sort of pink one finds in the Barbie aisle at Toys-R-Us. While I can definitely give a favorable review of this tie's overall fullness and knot tightness, I simply cannot endorse its coloration or its obsequious obeisance to stripyness. (Okay, I made that last word up.)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Vapid, Boring Tie Prompts Shopping Scenario Interlude

"Excuse me, sir, but I'm looking for a really boring tie. What I need is a tie that's striped, first off--that's absolutely non-negotiable--and then it has to have navy as its dominant color. Then, what would be really great, is if the stripe itself could also be blue. And not a really outrageous blue, either, but sort of a...well, I don't a sky blue, kind of. And don't get real outlandish with the stripes, either. Just place them about and inch and a half apart, and make them a decent width, like about a woman's pinky finger. I'm merely going to wear this tie with another white shirt and another dark suit, so let's not get all carried away with ourselves."

Friday, March 21, 2008

Odd BOGO Tie Makes Me Wonder...Is Brian Williams' Taste In Ties Beginning To Falter?

Debut Tie. This tie must have been a BOGO deal with Wednesday's, for it is merely the violet-red version of its blue minute houndstooth or closely printed dot pattern on a barely visible field of white. Depending upon the distance and angle of the camera, this cravat appeared anywhere on the color spectrum from solid salmon pink to the patterned violet-red that an extreme close-up finally revealed. Perhaps Brian went to a store called Ties Politic or Patrick Henry's House of Ties and couldn't decide. Or maybe he saw them in the Sky Mall catalog on special and bought them when he was on the red-eye, weary and in a moment of weak judgment. Which of us hasn't been there? In any case, it looked kinda wide, the dimple looked kinda big and skewed, and the knot was...well, just really terribly loose and hurried. Looks like someone wasn't quite ready to be "back from vacation."

*BOGO=Buy One Get One

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Mr. Williams Channels Mr. Rogers

This tie is classic Mr. Williams: staid, dependable, and absolutely inoffensive. Steel grey stripes bordered with just a bit of racing stripe red are staggered widely upon a field of go-to navy blue in this very plebeian cravat. It's not that I dislike this tie--how could I?--it's just that it's so very...well, Mr. Rogers-esque. It's the kind of tie one would see Ward Cleaver wear when telling The Beav the facts of life on a "Guys Weekend" during a special film shown to 1960s fifth graders at school after their parents signed a permission slip. It's just so darned mature.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Brian Dresses Just A Bit In Advance Of The Season

Brian attempts to rebound after last night's debacle and knots up a cadet blue tie with a subtle, all-over pattern of closely-printed dots. This cravat appears, in a long shot, to be a solid, but once the Nightly's cameraperson zoomed in, the print was apparent. Mr. Williams has, it would seem, made the change in his armoire de cravates over to le printemps. Lighter colors, more subtle patterns, and the resurrection of ties that we have not seen in many months indicate that Spring has sprung.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Oh, Brian.

Oh, Brian. I had almost forgotten about this tie, this seriously ostentatious cravat that makes me--just for a moment, mind you--question the limits of not only your taste but your mental hygiene. It's not just the sad fabric quality, reminiscent of cheap sportcoat lining; nor is it the odd appearance of what are those, dots? flocking? who the hell knows? in a deep maize or mustardy color; no, it is the fact that it is, without any doubt, a gold tie. And by "gold", I mean metallic and shiny and evocative of that trashy girl's prom dress or a West Coast rapper's bling bling. Oh, Brian. Oh. Brian.

Monday, March 17, 2008

It's A St. Patrick's Day Miracle! (Is He The Patron Saint Of Neckwear? Should I Google That?)


Debut Tie. And what a premiere cravate it is! In an absolutely stunning and completely Landmark Moment in Tie Report History, BRIAN WILLIAMS DONS A GREEN TIE. This is unheralded! Unheard of! Unprecedented! As if it were d'aucune grande conséquence, Brian merely appears on set, refreshed after a week's absence, wearing a stripe of deep blue and lush forest green matte silk, ably knotted with the usual four-in-hand, deep dimple placed slightly to his right. An immediate check of The Tie Report shows that last year, Bri was not on the air for St. Patrick's Day. It may well be that this is the only day for Himself's wearin' o' The Green.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

A Weekly Wrap-Up, Sans Brian

March 10-14, 2008. The Nightly's news desk has been ably helmed this week by the charming and tastefully arrayed Ann Curry. Although she wore basic black each evening--and I do not fault her for this; I admire anyone who can pull off a signature look--Ms. Curry marred her polished semblance somewhat by a rather dated and jarring red lipstick. Seeking validation for this faux pas from Rick, however, I was informed, "I wouldn't kick her out of my bed." There you have it.

Brian Williams returns on Monday.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

A Stumble Early In The Month

Not so delightful is this tie, from the Lower Tier of Taste. Ultramarine blue with thistle stripes--just not a good combination, and the fabric looks like acetate, the ugly synthetic Frankenchild of silk. So tacky on so many levels, this cravat evokes twofers and dollar stores, Woolworth's and Wal*Mart, cubic zirconia and pleather. Bri stumbles badly, yet early this month; I can only remain hopeful. March has 31 days, and perhaps he will gain momentum.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

A Cravat Which Has Possibilities For More

This cravat has been away for awhile, and it's been missed. Small white polka dots subtly outlined in black are widely scattered across a field of warm, earthy red which, when viewed close up, reveals itself to be a subtle intarsia underwoven with black. This fabric is quite lovely and tasteful in a quiet, cheery way; I want it around me in some everyday capacity to lighten my life's most mundane moments. It could cover my desk blotter and pencil holder, perhaps; maybe my wallet; better yet, my car's upholstery! Imagine being surrounded by this discriminating and harmonious print in such a pleasant color each day on one's way to and from work. Delightful.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Calm After The Storm Is Solid Violet Silk

Tonight, Brian's penchant pour le stripes goes on hiatus, and he knots up a solid silk cravat of a deeply saturated violet with a warm red tone. This tie has long been one of my favorites from The Purple Collection. Not only is its fabric fine, but its color is also gorgeous and rich. Also, I would be remiss if I did not make note of this evening's dimple, both dramatically deep and perfectly placed. A fine recovery from last night's debacle.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Sacre Bleu! Is Nothing Sacred? A New Low, Even For Brian Williams.

In a record-setting and completely unforgivable Repeat Cycle, Brian Williams dons the pale gold and deep navy striped tie that he just wore on February 28th. Which was only two Reports ago for those of you scoring at home. This sort of Fashion Egregiousness is totally unacceptable and absolutely bordering on the malicious. It also forces me to do a helluva lot of work, for I am compelled to present to you the Precise Dates Upon Which Brian Williams Wore This Tie Most Recently in order to prove to you just How Much He Hates Me And All Viewers/Close Observers Of His Cravats. So, after much research and without further ado, here it is, La Liste d'Infamie:

1-11, 1-15, 2-11, 2-19, 2-28, 3-4.

And allow me to call to your attention that only ONE day passed between the wearing of 1-11 and 1-15, since it was a weekend; likewise, the other pairs also involved weekends, making the amount of time between wearings actually much shorter. Quelle horreur!

It seems to me that this tie, should it be repeated again in swift succession, must be given a new designation of some sort and relegated to a fitting status. I am open to suggestions. Please feel free to assist in Comments.

Monday, March 3, 2008

March Comes In Like A...Striped Tie. What, You Expected Something Else From Brian Williams?

* 'Tis March, and BW ushers it in, after a long-deserved Friday off, with a striped tie. Sigh. At least this is one that has been out of the rotation for a time. Its downward-cast diagonals of cornflower and deep navy are rather generous, but not overly wide, but the knot looks a bit puny and inexpertly tied. Lovely, however, is the perfect placement in that knot of the cornflower stripe--centered and gorgeous.