Oh, Brian.

Oh, Brian. I had almost forgotten about this tie, this seriously ostentatious cravat that makes me--just for a moment, mind you--question the limits of not only your taste but your mental hygiene. It's not just the sad fabric quality, reminiscent of cheap sportcoat lining; nor is it the odd appearance of what are those, dots? flocking? who the hell knows? in a deep maize or mustardy color; no, it is the fact that it is, without any doubt, a gold tie. And by "gold", I mean metallic and shiny and evocative of that trashy girl's prom dress or a West Coast rapper's bling bling. Oh, Brian. Oh. Brian.