Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's A Stripedy Day In The Neighborhood

Debut Tie. Brian ends the month with no surprises here--a striped tie. This one is a rich ruby with thin stripes of sky blue at wide intervals. It's not a particularly youthful look, and Mr. Williams seems to be headed down a decidedly staid path with his new ties. It has an old-fashioned look, a rather grandfatherly ambience about it, sort of like what Mr. Rogers would wear if he was trying to be a bit bold and fashion-forward. Sigh. I wish I was in charge of things in Brian's fashion neighborhood.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Nightmare Returns


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tacky Tie Is A Perfect Storm Of Questionable Taste

How I wish Brian would retire this cravat. While its dark blue background and narrow carnation pink stripes do not render it egregious, I cannot help but label it tacky. It isn't the pink, which is a color I applaud in fashionable cravats of good quality and impeccable design (a la one David Gregory, connosieur de la cravate rose), nor is it solely the fact that it is striped. It is the lethal combination of the shade of pink--gaudy--the look of the material--cheap--and the size of the stripe--anemic. Taken together, they amount to a tie which most men of style would, if they received it as a gift, die a little inside and make arrangements with their personal assistants to return it immediately...and in disguise.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Stodgy Striped Tie Is A Welcome Transition

Debut Tie. Brian goes from skanky to stodgy with this sedate striped tie. Blue-grey stripes thinly outlined with high-contrast red-orange stuffily arrange themselves at neat, wide intervals against a deep navy background. This is the sort of cravat that would harrumph and cough pointedly at the family reunion when callow young Bert thoughtlessly sat at the head of the table, clearly in violation of custom, which would dictate that Great Uncle Frederick, more mature in years and the family patriarch, had earned that seat by virtue of his age and position.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I Manage To Work In Donna Summer; That's How Horrifying This Tie Is

Debut Tie. At least, I think so. Certainly I would have remembered my gorge rising upon viewing a tie such as this: highway median yellow stripes upon blazer blue is bad enough, but this one I swear looked to be fashioned out of vinyl. Or...dear God, pleather. This is one misbegotten cravat. Not only is it of the same stripe template as so very many of his most banal bestriped ties (and please pronounce it "be-stri-ped", in three syllables), but it is yet another blue-and-yellow, and it is by far the most egregious fabric I have ever witnessed being worn by anyone not wearing platform peep-toes, fishnets, and showing more cleavage than is decent. I know it's Saturday night and not Bri's regular schedule, but he's not workin' that hard for the money.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Again With The Black And White Striped Tie, So A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (Or At Least Four Of His Ties)

This is pretty close. But really, how many black and white striped ties does one need before they become redundant?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

The Verdict Is In On This Odd Tie

The last time I saw this tie, I reserved judgment because it debuted on the webcast. Now, having viewed it on the big screen, I'm ready to render a verdict: no. This cravat, with its mulberry field and odd pattern of scarab/snowflake thingies in a kind of iridescent/opalescent white that goes all rainbow-y is just the sort of print one would find on wrapping paper in the Hallmark store at Holiday Time labeled "Designer Christmas Collection." In its efforts to look interesting and high-end, it just comes off as,

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tastelessness Abounds...In Houndstooth

From the Busy Division of the Purple Collection, Brian plucks the offensive Pulsating Houndstooth. This horrific cravat wounds the viewer on so many levels: its garish sateen fabric, the miniature print that plays havoc with the camera, and the cheap coloration of plasticene purple and white all combine to make this tie a tawdry panoply of tastelessness. In a perfect fashion fiasco, the knot was so over-tightened, it caused the entire tie to fold up at the edge--perhaps in a metaphor of shame at itself.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A Bit Of The Bourgeois

Debut Tie. Rich purple provides the backdrop to gold stripes widely spaced in this tie which is a sort of companion cravat to one in Brian's Vintage Series. Whereas the VS tie looks lush and voluptuous and regal, this one looks a little sparse and bourgeois. And, although this is a Tie Report, I must make reference to the jarring detail of the black pinstripe jacket being paired with this tie. That would not have passed my muster, Monsieur Williams, cela est à coup sûr.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Understated Almost To A Fault

Debut Tie. In what looks like A Salute To The United States Civil War, Brian knots up an unassuming tie of Confederate grey with widely-staggered Federal blue stripes. The fabric looks almost like a fine worsted wool, very seasonally wintry, and the knot was controlled without appearing too tight. This tie was so understated that it was almost nondescript, kind of like extras in a movie scene. They add ambience, but hardly draw attention.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Bonus Brian! The Star Works A Weekend

What's this? Brian, The Star, working The Nightly on Le Weekend? Only primary season can lure him on set on a Saturday. I remember the days when he wouldn't even anchor Fridays...but enough of this reminiscing. There's a Tie To Review.Tonight marks a return to sanity and gravitas as Brian knots up a more classic foulard print of baby-blanket blue with darker blue dots inside a barely-there diagonal grid. It's a serenely assured tie, one which comports itself much like an attentive maitre d' of a five-star restaurant--just the right amount of confident snobbishness, but gracious without being obsequious.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Debut Tie...But Not A Delightful One

A Debut Tie doesn't mean a delightful one, and this cravat just misses its mark for me. Glossy black (again) provides the background for closely arranged, slim stripes of fawn and pale, icy blue. This tie should have looked sophisticated, cool, and why didn't it? Was it because of the shiny, chintzy-looking fabric? Was it because the field color was black and provided too much contrast? Was it because the stripes were too crowded together? Would it have been better-looking if there had been no background whatsoever and the fawn and blue had merely been the only two colors? I don't know. But, I'm sure I'll see it again, and I can decide then.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Not The Most Tasteful Of Ties

This tie is definitely one from what I like to call Brian's "Lower Tier of Taste" collection. Glossy onyx with narrow goldenrod stripes, it is the sort of neckwear one would see on a strip-mall jewelry store salesman who stands outside his shop and beckons people inside with patter like, "Hi! How are ya tahday? Are ya lookin' for somethin' sorta sparkly for the little lady perhaps? Need a little bling ta impress the boss? Howzabout a nice watch?" Even worse, Brian coupled this cravat with a black coat and stark white shirt. The contrast was...well, unsuccessful.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Day After: Solid Periwinkle

Brian is wearing a simple solid of periwinkle. He has worn this tie before.

Sorry, but this is all you get. I'm still recovering from yesterday's "Catastrophe du Cravate." It's kind of like when you're in a minor fender-bender, and you feel pretty okay after it happens, but you wake up the next morning and every muscle in your body hurts. Except I felt really horrid immediately yesterday, and I still feel pretty crappy today. I can't just rebound from something this severe overnight, you know.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

No Excuse For This Egregious Repeat Cycle, Brian Williams! NONE!! I Am Driven To Haagen-Dazs

!!!!!!!!! I am almost apoplectic with outrage and shock and dismay and fashion horror. Brian Williams is wearing the same tie he wore on Friday! Oh, yes. Just this past Friday. I hardly need describe it to you; you probably can recall it readily: wide pale gold and deep navy stripes, boring, ordinary. What gives, Brian Williams? This is an absolutely unprecedented, and, I think, unforgivable, repeat cycle and I am just plain beside myself. This is an even more egregious sin than the previous repeat cycle of The Lavender Debate Tie which sent me over the edge last spring. Now I must retire to my fainting couch with my Slanket and a pint of Haagen-Dazs "Sticky Toffee Pudding" ice cream in a probably futile attempt to get over it all.

Monday, January 14, 2008

I Am Tired Of This Tie And I'm Not Afraid To Say It

Brian just wore this tie on 4 January, and frankly, I didn't feel much like reporting on it then, either. It's a sort of knock-off of the much-maligned hyper-patterned tie that I loathe. Mulberry ball-and-stick pattern splayed out on it. I'm tired of it. It's kind of gaudy and it's just an Excuse For Purple From The Busy Division. (Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em.)

Friday, January 11, 2008

Off-Kilter Effort Ruins Any Desired Effect

Tonight Brian knots up a cravat of wide stripes in creamy brushed gold and deep navy blue. The gold is pale and has notes of ivory and pewter, and the navy is so dark that it reads black instead of blue, and were it not for the intimacy of the Nightly's very tight closeup shot, I'd have mistaken it for onyx. This tie is, however, maddeningly pedestrian. It has not the lush splendor of the gold and purple striped tie because of the pallor of the gold, the ambiguity of the navy, and the obesity of the stripe. Also peevish was the skewed nature of the knot and dimple this evening. Tossed the whole lot off for me. Sorry.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Textbook Tie By Brian...With A Scary Side of David Gregory

This evening, the Nightly's cameraperson zoomed in and provided a very tight shot at BW's tie. The background was revealed to be a jacquard woven silk blend of garnet, and the small sparse polka dots were ivory with fine rims of black. The jacquard itself looked to be black in its underweave, but more importantly, the dimple was precisely in the middle, perfectly teardrop in shape, and the four-in-hand knot could have appeared in a Tie Textbook photo. This tie, had it been in a Cravat Show, would have won Best Overall in Technique.

On a side note, I must, with a very heavy heart, take a moment and comment upon the Catastrophe That Was The Tie of David Gregory, Chief White House correspondent. It looked, quite simply, like an open jar of some very, very scary orange marmalade. Even more terrifying is the fact that it was accompanied by...a matching pocket square. If you must go to the webcast and view it for yourself (and I understand, really I do), consider yourself warned.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Purple, Yes, But Ever So Tasteful

If you must wear a purple tie, then this is the Purple Tie To Wear. Deep, rich concord silk is scattered with small, almost picaresque ovals of white rimmed with barely-blue. This gorgeous cravat has been absent since 5 December, and it has been missed. Its tasteful lushness brings to mind well-placed cushions brought by unobtrusive servants who quietly slip a bolster behind the small of your back as you lean forward ever so slightly to add a slice of lemon to your Earl Grey.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Brian Lets Me Down, And On A Primary Night, Too


Monday, January 7, 2008

Cette Cravate...Est Peut-Etre Une Catastrophe

As Debate Season is upon us, Brian pulls out his Debate Tie, the one that first plagued us when the Political Season began, back in Spring 2007. Brian put the solid lavender in heavy rotation and perpetrated one of The Most Shameless Repeat Cycles ever, prompting a relatively uncharacteristic Tie Report Meltdown. And...ce n'est pas joli. I fear that cette cravate, coupled with Friday's, does not bode well for my sanity.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Annoying Tie Is Too Similar To Other Annoying Tie

*This tie is the cousin of the much-loathed Byzantine/mosaic/stained glass tie that is fast becoming relegated to TWSNLBRAINDTM status. Oh, its background is indeed a lovely claret, and the contrasting color is a rather innocent turquoise, but the befuddling spraddled Tinker Toy pattern is just annoying and off-putting. And, its aforementioned similarity to the other tie, well, it's just bothersome.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Iowa Caucus Republican Tie

Oh, Brian, how I loathe this cheap-looking tie. Yes, you took what was perhaps in conservative, Fundamentalist Iowa, a "fashion risk", wearing a deep navy tie with "faggy" rose-colored stripes, like some kind of "girly-man" might wear. At least the stripes were skinny, a meek defender might say, not big and fat, and maybe you thought they were more of a purplish color, not so pink. But how would that conservative Christian guns-n-butter voter defend the cheap quality of that fabric, huh? Oh yeah...Wal*Mart.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

School Supply Tie

This tie, with its black and blue stripes, reminds me of getting ready for back-to-school. Each second week of August, I would buy a box each of blue and black Papermate Write Bros. pens and empty them into the school supply drawer at the Dept. of Nance for the boys and I to grab as necessary. This cravat reminds me of looking into that drawer.