Friday, December 21, 2007

Irksome Striped Cravat

* A poor tie all around, from its pinched, meager knot to its sinisterly dark navy field upon which skinny yet ostentatiously fuschia stripes straggled. This cravat made me feel uneasy and irked, as if I had eaten something I didn't really want and knew I shouldn't have had, and didn't enjoy it all that much to begin with. But it was there, and I was hungry, and know how that goes.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Has He No Shame?

TWSNLBRAINDTM. Again already!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Warm Holiday Tie

In a subtle, tasteful nod to the Holiday Season upon us, Brian dons a charming tie of warm, crimson red with small, widely-spaced ivory polka dots. It's a sort of subdued and mellow tie, but friendly and genial, much like a rumbly chuckle from a favorite uncle as he unwraps that pair of purple Argyle socks you gave him just because you know he'd actually wear them to church and cross his legs so everyone can see them.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Aquatic Ballet Cravat

Brian returns to stripes with this striking cravat of deep dolphin grey and surf white. The contrast brings to mind porpoises arcing smoothly out of the water in a mysterious yet playful aquatic ballet, their bodies glistening wetly as they break the surface of the sea. The tops of their smooth bodies gleam, and for a moment you can glimpse grey, then white before they dive again.

Monday, December 17, 2007

A Contradiction In Terms Kind Of Tie

*Dammit, Brian! Why must you debut a good cravat on a night when dinner at the Dept. runs late? I am then forced to describe a less than crisp and therefore less than satisfying version on my monitor. And from the look of it, this is a tie I would have enoyed seeing on the big screen in all its electrifying, hyacinth glory, what with its engaging pattern of sort of yin-and-yangesque shaded spherical thingies arranged symmetrically in a rather Zen garden kind of way. It was all rather breathtaking and energetic, yet calming and serene. Rather oxymoronic in a paradoxical sense, that tie. And I had to experience the compact vastness of it all a day late and on my computer screen. Some things are just perfectly imperfect.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Forecaster's Tie

* Tonight, Brian knots up a tie of dusky iris blue with petite white window frames arrayed in martial columns. It's frostily analogous to the wintry forecast for the Great Lakes and Northeast regions of the U.S., who will soon be socked in with blizzard conditions for the weekend. We'll all be staring out of icy windowpanes, rubbing our bluish fingertips in an effort to instill some warmth to them while we listen to the snowy winds pound against our homes, knowing that Christmas shopping undone will have to stay that way for yet another few days, and perhaps we will at least get a Snow Day out of this raw deal from Mother Nature.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Jelly Top Tie

This tie reminds me of my Aunt Louise. She used to give us homemade jelly that she sealed with paraffin wax. Sometimes, the paraffin didn't hold its seal, and when we took off the thick, waxy lid, we'd find an icky bunch of bluish-green blobs sitting on top of the lovely deep red currant jelly. This cravat, although a pleasant enough one, takes me back to those rather disheartening surprises. It looks amazingly like those moldy jelly tops, albeit more symmetrical.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Yet Again


Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Cette Cravate Est Une Petite Tragedie

This is a tie that harmonizes in a smooth, mellow basso. It is the voice of James Earl Jones saying " CNN." Its generous, yet not wide stripes are of ebony and indigo--dark, mysterious, and suggesting midnight. A cravat such as this should have deserved an extra backward glance before it went before the camera but, alas! it appeared before us crooked. Sigh. Une petite tragedie!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Purple, Yet Completely Acceptable

This gorgeous, jewel-tone solid tie is, yes, another purple and another solid, but its color is so deep and so saturated and of such a luscious red-violet that it is more than acceptable. Also in its favor is the fabric, a nubby, woven finish that, despite the oh-so-obliging Nightly cameraperson's extreme close-up, continues to defy my absolute identification as raw silk, worsted wool, or even a sort of linen. Add the small, tight four-in-hand (omnipresent) and the perfect, centered dimple, and it almost made me forget that it was a solid purple tie in the end. Admittedly, that is a good thing and, therefore, a good tie.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Brian Fancies Himself Une Artiste De Cravate

* Zebras, Goth girl thigh-highs, raccoons and referees--that's all I can think of when Bri knots up one of his many tiresome black-and-white striped ties. Oh, sure, they're bold and graphic-y, and when he first wore one I gave him a fashion thumbs-up for making an Andy Warholian sort of statement with his neckwear. But then he trotted out another and another in rather rapid succession and I realized he was having his own sort of Brian Williams Does Graphics Around His Neck series art show. I can't get behind that, even as I pride myself on being a supporter of les Artes.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Understated, Yet Saying Plenty

This cravat has been on hiatus for eons. Long had we been deprived of its lovely scarlet background with its intarsia effect, its small ivory wells rimmed with black, giving it the overall ambience of a very mature, very sedate polka dot pattern. It is the wit of Stoppard, the piquance of a Sangiovese, the simple, uncluttered appeal of a still life painting. This is the way to do understatement with statement.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Regal Debut Tie Reminiscent of Queen Anne Wingback

A Debut Tie. A deep, rich plum provides the background for tiny, almond-shaped figures that first appear Chinese white, but when the camera closes in, the careful observer can detect that they are outlined in the palest sky blue. These figures dance back and forth in a traditional cravat pattern that looks both elegant and sophisticated. The fabric looks as if it just might be found covering the deep, accomodating wings of a Queen Anne chair in Her Majesty's sitting room in Windsor Castle. It's regal, sedate, yet fashionably tasteful and would garner the smiling approval of the most discerning critic.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Brian Drives Me To Red Bull

* From the Conservative Collection, Brian knots up the navy blue with narrow gold stripes. Sigh. Yawn. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz--Oh, I'm sorry. Wasn't I done? Actually, I believe I am.

Monday, December 3, 2007

A Cravat Of A Certain Caliber

Perhaps this cravat is BW's salute to the Second Amendment, for all I could think about when The Nightly's obliging cameraperson zoomed in for a tight shot was the view from a sniper's sight when he aims his rifle at his prey. You know, that little circle with the cross-hatching? Well, there they were, tightly-packed, deep violet ones sprayed like bullet holes on a field of icy hyacinth blue. Which is not to say that this is an unpleasant or unsuccessful tie, fashionably speaking. It is to say that it will take another viewing to rid this tie of its unfortunate...shall we say ballistic associations so that I can render a more objective verdict.