Friday, January 29, 2010

Maybe Brian Could Sit With The Cool People And Try To Trade Up

If I could, I'd take a pass on this tie, really. Not that it's A Bad Tie. It's not. It's just...Not Doing It For Me. Purple with some teensy white dottyish pattern in a perfect grid It's like sitting down at the lunch table in fourth grade and opening your brown bag and finding the same old PB&J, banana, and coupla cookies. Yeah, it's all stuff that's just fine and you'll eat it and all, but it's not anything to get all excited about.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

No Grey Area Here: It's Just Black And White For Brian

It was inevitable that another one of these Black And Whites showed up. This one is black with very narrow white stripes at wide intervals. Brian has lots and lots and lots of Black And White Striped Ties. I've already compared them to Goth Chick Stockings and licorice allsorts and zebras and referee shirts and even Beetlejuice. Right now, I'm in a Creative Slough and can't compare them to anything. Especially since this particular Black And White is another-coloured incarnation of so many other Ties He Has. Sigh.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Bless You, Brian Williams. Bless Your Neckties, And God Bless The United States Of America.

In a strange way, I feel like yesterday's tie was a sort of preview for tonight's tie, kind of the way the White House released a few key ideas of the President's State of the Union speech a day early. It wasn't the entire speech, just a few of the salient points to get us ready for The Real Thing. So, last night's navy and red striped tie set us up for tonight's more sophisticated offering of smoked navy blue with wine stripes bordered with very thin pinstripes of platinum pearl. See what I mean?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

In Mr. Williams' Neighborhood, Things Are Starting To Become A Bit Surreal. (Time To Rethink The Cravat Wardbrobe; You're Only 50!)

Another trip in the Wayback Machine as Mr. Williams tightens up a cravat from the Ward Cleaver Collection. This sedate tie of red and navy stripes is such an Old Man tie that I almost expected to look above its knot and see Wilford Brimley or John McCain squinting at me over a pair of bifocals doing an infomercial for reverse mortgages or prune juice or The Scooter Store.

Monday, January 25, 2010

In Which I End Up Reviewing A Different Tie Entirely, But...Oh Well.

Brian has another tie just like this. Whereas this one is a rich plummy purple crossed with narrow white stripes at wide intervals, the other one is more of an orchidy purple and looks like its lower-class cousin. You know what I mean, right? The part of the family that shows up to reunions in a big, beat-up car with one of the doors that doesn't open. All the kids come spilling out and the baby, who is fat-cheeked and robust and isn't wearing anything but a soggy diaper, is being carried by the skinniest and most frail six-year-old whose shoes are untied. But their mom is everyone's favorite aunt and makes the best brownies with the frosting piled high.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Another New Tie? Brian Williams! You Are Starting To Branch Out, Albeit A Teeny Tiny Bit.

Debut Tie. Again, we are treated to another New Tie, and this one, although it is another (yawn!) Striped Tie, it is Everso Complex and Experimental in its Colour Palette for Brian Williams. The background is a deep seaweed green with a silken sheen, and widely spaced are narrow stripes of firstly antique gold split with warm crimson. These double stripes are alternated with a contrasting slender stripe of sky blue. It's a very Ivy League tie, and its diverse colours make it pleasant and challenging to view.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Taste Of The Tropics Tonight

Debut Tie. Certainly this cravat would be better suited to springtime, but having become weary of Brian's familiar neckwear, I was thrilled to see it. The field color was a cool Key lime custard; narrow white stripes were spaced widely apart and sported twin pinstripes of black. It was a stylish and decidedly tropical tie, yet elegant, like the gentlemen having cigars and caipirinhas on the terrace of the country club.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Report Tires Of These Striped Ties, Yet The Wheels Have Not Yet Come Off

Why don't I like this tie? True, I am getting weary of the constant litany of stripes, stripes, stripes. But this one, at least, is not purple. It is not blue. It has the air of formality about it, with its silver and black diagonals and its fine knot. But the only thing I can think of when I see it is tires--those steel-belted radials-- so highly-touted by Goodyear and Cooper and Michelin Mr's. Goodwrench (Mr. Goodwrenches?) everywhere.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Mystery Returns To The Report, And We Are In Quite A (Paranormal) State

Aaaarrrgh. This...tie! At least tonight I didn't have to completely obsess over its phantom greyish mini-print or its befuddling violet-blue/blue-violet background colour. Instead, I got to focus on its latest mysterious feature: the odd vertical crease that has developed along its length. Not seen on a BW Cravat since the Corky Brown Tie of 21 September 2007, this strange phenomenon bears watching.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Not Exactly Boring, But Quite The Dependable Tie Now, Isn't It?

Back from the devastation of earthquake-ravaged Haiti, Brian Williams knots up a sedate and staid stripe of dress-suit and peacock blues. It's a very stable and resolute tie, like a firm hand on your back as you struggle up a steep set of bleachers on your way up to your seat at your sister's college graduation, or a strong arm around your shoulders as you're buffeted about by cold winter winds at your child's first football game.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Brian Williams Tries To Sneak In A SPT, But We Are Unmoved And Retain Our Rigid Fashion Codes: Nice Try, But Peddle That Someplace Else, Bucko!

* Brian, do not even try to entice me into a Report with this cravat's whispery frostiness. Despite its hue of iced irises, it is still an ominous Solid Purple Tie.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Brian Tries To Lighten Things Up With This Playful Cravat, And The Report Is Ready For Some Fun

Tonight Brian Williams knots up a very intense graphic arts-inspired tie of bright red with narrow stripes of white bordered with black/navy. It's clean and crisp and very elementary, like those First Baby Toys to stimulate infants. Or, even something for the older set, like perhaps this. Kind of his Happy Happy Fun Tie.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Elegant And Refined, Brian Williams Redeems Himself With This Classy Cravat

Monsieur Williams strives for a Fashion Redemption this evening with this striking Debut Tie. Its stripes of jet navy and creamy white with a slim inlaid pinstripe of lilac are simply lovely. It's like a wedding reception at the Ritz, all tuxedoes and pristine linen tablecloths and orchid centerpieces stately in their art deco vases. There is elegance here, a soupçon of color, and a demeanour of pure grace.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Oh, Brian. May We Not Bid Adieu To This Worrisome Cravat? (The Report Would Greatly Appreciate It)

I grow increasingly irked by this bothersome tie. What on earth recommended it to Brian Williams to begin with? What about its pedestrian and negligible pattern called out to him at the haberdasher's? Certainly not the is it violet or is it blue hue of its background. Absolutely not that odd, vaporous pattern that might be grey, might be taupe, might be oh forget it I can't see it anyway. Does the fabric look textured and fine in quality? Holy crap no. It's not even holding a centred dimple or exquisite knot. Time to inter this tie in L'Armoire d'Au Revoire.

Monday, January 4, 2010

In 2010 Brian Williams Resolves To Wear Striped Ties: The Report N'est Pas Etonné

Mr. Williams knots up one of his most debonair striped cravats this evening. Burgundy stripes bordered with pinstripes of shiny pearl grace a field of deep, smoked navy blue. There is something of the diplomat in this tie--worldly, urbane, sophisticated--yet it is conservatively tasteful and always correct.