Thursday, March 29, 2007

Sexy Red Stripe, Bri!

This evening's neckwear offering was deep true blue with a red stripe, the kind of nail polish shade you grab when your fingernails are exactly the perfect length, finally, and you feel peppy and flirty and a little bit fun. Not sexy or vampish, but "first warm day of summer" perky, and you start pulling out the Panama Jack spray-on oil and grab the chaise lounge out of the garage and stick it in the back of the car along with an old towel, a trashy novel, and the little cooler. Because you just never know when you might have an extra hour these days now, and this stuff could come in handy. That kind of red. So, the tie itself, not all that inspiring. But that red stripe...I'm lovin' that red.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Stop The Insanity!

Oh, for the simple ennui of the tie of Thursday! For tonight, Brian returned to the tacky and tasteless tie of February 20th. And I shall pull from my archives my Report of that night, for I simply cannot bring myself to try and describe this catastrophic cravat yet again. "To describe the stripes as violet blue and rose would be too kind: it was as if someone had put the alarming fuschia-toned tee of Dora the Explorer and a sopping wet Barney into a Cuisinart and hit "puree." This cravat made me believe that, perhaps, Brian Williams is not the sole driver of his neckwear decisions. For, if he is, his taste has seriously veered off-course and into the Stuff-n-Barf Drive-Thru Ramp O'Cheap, where this little gem was surely marked BY ONE GIT ONE FREE along with the dreaded thistle-colored emergency tie from January. Here's hoping he, or someone, soon regains the wheel."

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Serviceable Means Boring, Brian Williams!

I confess some ambivalence about tonight's tie selection. To be sure, diagonal narrow stripes of black and heathery grey are...fine. Yes, indeed. They are. But, they are not magisterial. They are not arresting. They are not admirable. They are not the kind of fashion statement I, for one, was hoping for. This cravat was a standard-issue Macy's tie that one picks out to go with both the black suit and the grey sportcoat. It is a multi-purpose tie. It can even be worn with the charcoal cashmere vee-neck sweater and black wide-wale corduroys on business casual Fridays at the office downtown. It's that kind of tie. Yawn. You lost me this week, Brian Williams.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Kentucky Fried...Cravat?

Brian Williams, finally back from Iraq and apparently a vacation afterward, followed last night's jaunty little nautical-looking tie with, well...I'm sorry, but I just have to say it. Tonight's cravat of pale yellow aggressively dotted Swiss just made me think of one thing: chicken skin. Ick. He looked as if he was wearing the nekkid pelt of plucked poultry. And that's just not flattering. On anybody. Last night's tie--which I just barely caught a glimpse of and was a repeat, too--was disappointing enough after a hard day at The Rock. But to sit down today, heart all aflutter in anticipation, and see the grizzled epidermis of a goosebumpy duck...well, I have to say it was...disheartening. Tomorrow had better begin a reprise of the Vintage Series, Brian Williams, or I cannot be responsible. God help us if this is the start of a Salute to Poultry.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

War Zone = No Tie

Brian, reporting live from Baghdad, has eschewed cravats for the time being in favor of a very Land's End-esque tan coat made of a cotton twill-looking material. Ordinarily, I would be aghast at such a garment, but Brian is in a War Zone, people! He does not have time to concern himself with frippery and furbelows! There are other things far more worthy of his notice, such as IEDs and insurgents and proper pronunciation of phrases in Farsi so he doesn't unnecessarily annoy the populace. So, for now, he gets a pass. Even though his khaki pants were ridiculously long, almost to the point of inexcusability. After all, Richard Engel, aka "The Baghdad Dish," is always impeccably dressed, and he's been living in Iraq for years now. Perhaps that's the key, then.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

In Like A Lamb

Brian ushers March in like a lamb by answering the question "Does Brian ever repeat a tie?" with a gentle "yes." For tonight saw a return not only to sanity, but to the solid deep grey Feb. 7th cravat. A welcome, staid offering after the debacle of last night. Wise move, Brian Williams. You did not want me to have to come up there and tell you a few things. That's right!