Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I Make Brian Williams An Offer He Can't Refuse

Okay, Brian Williams, you know what? I'm done playing around with you. Clearly, you're toying with me. Tonight's tie, some misbegotten salute to smallpox, with its alarming random white welts, was beneath both your taste and my notice. Don't make me come over there, Brian Williams. We'll both be sorry.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

An Attempt to Banish My Seasonal Affective Disorder?

Alas! We lingered too long at table at The Dept. tonight, so I will have to observe Brian's cravat choice after 10 p.m. EST on The Internets. I caught only a glimpse of buttery yellow, reminiscent of whipped Betty Crocker Deluxe Yellow cake batter, criss-crossed with a pale blue grid. Again, I question this rush headlong into the vernal equinox while we yet linger in the dregs of February. Yet, I understand it. It may well be that Brian Williams, like me, suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder and is hoping to banish, in his own sartorial way, the clinging gray chill of Winter's icy grip. Rather than tsk in dismay, I should be appreciative. Now I feel chastised by guilt. Sigh.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Brian Salutes Postimpressionism

I struggle to think of a motive for tonight's tie selection. What could have been Brian Williams' thought process--or that of his stylist--as he stood in front of the mirror, readying himself for the cameras? Was it to completely diverge from the welcome solid lilac of Friday's tie (which I was able to glimpse after the fact, thanks to the wonders of MSNBC's videoblogcast)? Was it to hurry along a sluggish spring by dressing in advance of the season? Was it an avant-garde salute to basketball? Or, was it an homage to Georges Seurat and Pointillism? Perhaps this cravat, with its barely visible white background and dizzying pebbly dots of deep turquoise was, indeed, a statement of a Postimpressionistic bent. For the Postimpressionists looked beyond the simplistic beauty of Nature's appearance and, instead, stressed emotional expression. If that isn't Brian Williams all over the place, then what is?

Thursday, February 22, 2007


. Apparently, Brian Williams lost a little bet with someone in the newsroom. Or, perhaps he was double-dog dared. Better yet, it could be that he had received it as a gift from a small child in the mail--yes, a little third-grader whose class he had visited in New Orleans, and she had sent it to him to thank him for not forgetting about her or her city as it struggled back from the horror of Katrina! Yes! That has to be it! Nothing else can possibly explain this tie, a tacky Teletubbie purple crossed with narrow white stripes that assaulted the viewer of NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams this evening. You are on a dangerous downward Tie Spiral, Mr. Williams. I shudder to think when--and where--it might end.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tie of Torpor

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Huh? Oh, sorry. Forgive me, it's just that the narrow stripes of white and midnight blue on the ever-so pedestrian tie of Brian Williams tonight lulled me into a somnambulistic state of inertia. Whereas last night's cravat catapulted me into a frenzy of outrage and Lady Macbeth-like protestations, this torpid thing bored me into stupefaction. Either Brian's stylist is on vacation, or he is receiving packages from an elderly aunt who is "going through some things at the house." Pick it up, Brian, before I start going through some things of my own.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cravat Calamity!

As bored as I was by last night's tie, that ennui is preferable to the dismay and near-revulsion I experienced upon viewing this evening's fashion faux pas. To describe the stripes as violet blue and rose would be too kind: it was as if someone had put the alarming fuschia-toned tee of Dora the Explorer and a sopping wet Barney into a Cuisinart and hit "puree." This cravat made me believe that, perhaps, Brian Williams is not the sole driver of his neckwear decisions. For, if he is, his taste has seriously veered off-course and into the Stuff-n-Barf Drive-Thru Ramp O'Cheap, where this little gem was surely marked BY ONE GIT ONE FREE along with the dreaded thistle-colored emergency tie from January. Here's hoping he, or someone, soon regains the wheel.

Monday, February 19, 2007

The First Appearance of The Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed By Me

A banker's tie was the somewhat banal offering from Brian Williams tonight. A broad dark blue stripe was intercut with an interior designer-looking gold one, bordered with an odd, nondescript contrasting dark color, or perhaps an opposite-woven band of the blue. But--yawn--I just don't care. This cravat, quite simply, bored me. It lacked panache, style, elan...oh, just any sort of je ne sais quoi. I am left cold and disappointed by this tie. It is like being brought a baloney sandwich on Wonder bread with processed American cheese and mayo when one ordered the duck en croute with chevre and a port wine and date reduction. The former will do in a pinch, but the two are hardly interchangeable.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Purple...Striped...But Vintage

Not one to play cutesy and wear a Valentine's Day themed tie, Brian Williams selected a voluptuous cravat of ivory and plum stripe, the latter band being shot through with a metallic gold cable at the center. The cut of this tie was as striking as its coloration: it was wide and generous, yet its knot was tight and controlled. The plum was rich and opulent; the ivory almost antique-looking, as if this were a vintage tie. This cravat, when taken along with the foulard of 2/2 and the French blue and cream of 2/9, makes me wonder if Mr. Williams is a fancier of vintage ties, or at least of those which look like they are from a bygone era. His suits are certainly cut in a forties throwback style, which I love. Perhaps a casual glance into the NBC cloakroom would reveal even...a fedora?

Monday, February 12, 2007

Commanding Presence

This evening's tie was an arresting one of a deep scarlet background lightly underwoven with black, giving it a dark cast in the folds and at the dimples. The pattern was one of small, fingertip-sized white windowpanes narrowly framed in black artfully staggered in a sparse array. The contrast was striking and commanding. This was a cravat of authority; it could establish pecking order the minute its wearer walked into the room. "Oh my no, it's not necessary to bow nor scrape before me," it says in suave Jeremy Irons-esque tones, "but naturally, the ring--it must be kissed."

Friday, February 9, 2007

Museum Quality Brian

Tonight's tie was a very classic stripe of true blue and French vanilla. It had the air of a vintage fabric, such as one might see on a Louis chair or perhaps one of the cushions in the Lincoln White House. But then, isn't there the touch of the old aristocrat in Brian Williams? One gets the sense that he is truly aware that what he is reporting will be history. And there's no sense in doing so poorly dressed.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

BW Goes GQ

Tonight, Brian looked as if he had just arrived on set fresh from a photo session at GQ magazine, whose stylist generously allowed him to keep the neckwear from the shoot. This gorgeous tie was of black stripes shot through with a miniscule gold thread; each black stripe was bordered with a stripe the color of a mourning dove's breast: a sort of changeable golden pearl grey. It was a tie of a Gentleman; it was a tie of Style; it was a tie of Statement. And that statement was "If clothes make the man, then I am the Adam of the Cravat World." Eves, you know where the line forms.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

A Royal Offering

It was easy to welcome back Brian Williams tonight, attired as he was in what was obviously a transitional tie. It was a solid this time, deep grey with a sheen to it. This cravat was reminiscent of elegant heirloom silver that was slightly tarnished: understated yet with an unmistakeable note of richness. I clap my hands as the royals do in their box at Wimbledon, Mr. Williams, at my waist and just above my lap, and ever-so-lightly as if they were gloved. "Bravo!" I whisper, "Well played!"

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Sans Cravate But Avec Manteau Brun

. Alas! Brian Williams, reporting live from The Big Easy, was sans cravate tonight. (That's French for "without a fashion sense because he was wearing a godawful brown coat that looks like something my husband would pick up at Sears and say 'hey, this would be good to wear for when I carry firewood in from the woodpile at the back of the garage' and I would say "how the hell did we wind up in Sears of all places looking at clothing in the first place?" and he would say 'I'm not really sure but what about this coat?' and I would say "Just turn around now and start walking, fast...Oh, god, I hope no one saw you with that."'") Yeah, that kind of coat.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Indigo Surprise

.. At first glance, it was a solid violet tie. Forgiveable, though, because it was obviously of raw silk. Then, after several moment of careful observation, it revealed itself to be not violet at all, but in fact, indigo. Intrigued, I watched even more carefully because I have fallen victim to the subtle patterning of Brian Williams' ties before. My patience was rewarded: razorlike pinstriping! Brian Williams, your wardrobe tonight was like an Impressionist painting. From far away, you looked conservative in your black suit, crisp white shirt, and monochromatic tie. But up close, your shade-shifting cravat was jaunty with racing stripes! You are Bond-like in your daring mystique, Brian Williams. Am I in love with you or your ties?

Friday, February 2, 2007

A Timeless Classic

Tonight's tie was oceanic blue with a pewtery cast. It had a classic foulard print, much like one might find in the endpapers of a Dickens classic bound in leather and shelved in the library of a British former poet laureate. This tie was not stodgy, but had the staid presence of a trusted valet who would not only lay out the correct cravat, but also see to it that the laundress folded your socks, never rolled them.