Thursday, July 28, 2011

Salvaging July

Brian Williams seems repentant for la Tragédie de Juillet, for tonight he wears a lovely tie of frosted purple scattered with small black circlets for our enjoyment. Like peering into the bloom of an African violet, it has depth and elegance, yet somehow manages to be amiable and pleasant.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011


Reporting from Washington, D.C., Brian is looking urbane and debonair in a cravat of distinction.  This tie, a chocolate silk studded with pale, petite dots in a grid pattern looks very, very GQ.  She looks across the breakfast room where almost no one is seated.  It is a sea of ivory damask tablecloths and gleaming flatware.  At a small two-top he sits, a French press in front of him along with a basket of croissant et petit baguette.  He checks his watch briskly and raises the cup to his lips as he scans the room.  As he sees her, he raises his eyebrows inquiringly.  Squaring her shoulders with a resolve she does not truly feel, she crosses to the table.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

We've Been Waiting For This Tie, My Darlings!

Today Is The Day, Report readers! Brian Williams has broken his longstanding ban and has knotted up a Paisley Tie(Yes, it was a petite rendition of the pattern, but certainly the colours were anything but understated.)  Bold cerise and white shapes on a field of periwinkle, this cravat made a statement.  "I am worthy of more than an Endless Parade Of Purple," it affirmed.  "There is more to life than the Diagonal Stripe," it declared.  "Perhaps orange is not the best colour for one's skin tone after all!" it conceded.  A chatty little tie, this, like the niece at a family party who just got her first post-graduate job with a really good salary and a title.  Put a cocktail in her hand, but don't stand there for long.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Even His Collar Was Askew

SPTQuelle horreur.

Monday, July 18, 2011

It Is A Conundrum

Ah, it is a love affair that Brian Williams has with his stripes, is it not?  Tonight the affair continues with an onyx and pearl silk striper beautifully knotted.  Too graphic to be romantic, too bold to be subtle, this cravat is like the nouveau riche of the 1920s Gilded Age who could afford the Society but never truly be a part of It. 

Friday, July 15, 2011

When Is A Pie Not A Pie? (When It's This Tie, But There Is Another Answer, Too!)

This tasty cravat is so richly textured.  The mahogany field is striped with bundles of thin gold bands as if bangle bracelets slid down the arm of a bronzed island beauty. Exotic, no?  Yet all I could think of as I watched was this

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Ceci Est Très Sérieux

SPT.  I realize that there were a few different ties between 7/8 and 7/13, but they were sufficiently unremarkable that I, wrapped in Cravat Ennui, simply could not report on them.  Can any among you deny that we are in a Run O' The Purples?

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I...Cannot...Go On

SPT.  In an unprecedented Repeat Cycle of Catastrophic Proportion, Brian Williams has a Back-to-Back Repeat Tie, and it is an Axis Of Evil Reprise.  I...I...I...please send chocolates directly to my Fainting Couch.  Je suis très tragique.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

As Seen On TV

SPT.  Brian needs this.