Thursday, February 28, 2008

In Which I Not Only Call Brian Williams Out, But I Also Hypothesize

In what must be termed an egregious disregard for not only fashion but his viewing public (and quite possibly his career, in my opinion), Mr. Brian Williams flings all concern and care to the Four Winds and dons the Now Wearying and Tiresome navy and pale gold stripe yet again. As if I even need remind you, this tie has been worn ad nauseum as of late, once it was forced into heavy rotation back in January. It has already been seen thrice in February since the eleventh! One is almost compelled to wonder at the circumstances behind this sartorial tautology. Has he become depressed by the emergence of the Dapper David Gregory as a Fashion Tour de Force? Are he and Mrs. Williams having a bit of a rough patch, and he's just lost interest in his neckwear? Are the Primary Season and the fact that he's working Fridays now causing a bit of a Shift In Priorities? One thing's for certain, whatever the unrest, its result is Cravat Catastrophe!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Vintage Series Renders Even Stripes Forgivable

Brian finally returns to his Vintage Series and dons the lush stripe of elephant grey and carnelian red. The voluptuous cut but controlled knot lends this cravat an almost Bogart-esque air of classic style. Am I weary of stripes? Yes, but when they are of this quality and cut, I find them forgivable.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I Can Only Look Forward To March

Due to my absenteeism, I cannot make a general condemnation of Brian Williams' midnight blue with slim maroon stripe cravat this evening and say things like "this tie shows Brian's drone-like adherence to stripes as a February Fashion Staple" or "Navy Blue is to Brian Williams what hoopskirts are to Scarlett O'Hara" because that would be unfair. It could very well be that, in my absence as of 21 February, Brian Williams has knotted up a variety of patterned ties in a vast array of pleasing hues. But I doubt it.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Thanks To An Unfortunate Selection From The Lower Tier, I Have Written Off February Entirely

It can always get worse, a particularly Eeyore-esque friend once told me, and the neckwear choice of Brian Williams tonight proves this adage. Stooping to choose from the Lower Tier of Ties, BW plucks forth a tacky and tasteless cravat of jarring ultramarine blue with anorexic lavender stripes. As if the colors weren't sad enough, the fabric appeared cheap, and the knot was wide and so tightly pulled that the entire tie was slightly elevated above the shirt in a sort of pathetic levitation "trick" attempted by a third-rate magician in an elementary school fun festival. Abracadabra--there goes February.

**Due to travelling, The Tie Report will be on hiatus until Monday, February 25th.**

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Je Suis Provoqué Au Désespoir

In a headlong rush downhill to Fashion Armageddon, Brian Williams nonchalantly tosses on the exact tie he wore on February 11, not only entering into a horrific repeat cycle, but also making this cravat the tenth striped tie out of thirteen thus far this month. Does anyone recall those halcyon days when this pale gold and deep navy striped tie used to evoke a favorable Tie Report? No? Me, either! Sigh.

Février est une tragédie!

Monday, February 18, 2008

I've Got Nothin'

Stripes. Purple. Gold. And not from the Vintage Series. That's all I've got. Brian Williams is sapping my creativity with his Ceaseless Stripery. Over and out.

Friday, February 15, 2008

BW's Unabashed Repeat Cycles And Stripe Fetish Are Becoming My Undoing

Knock knock. Who's there? Hominy. Hominy who? Hominy ties does BW have, yet he repeats the same striped ones shamelessly, thus dashing my hopes for a Fashionable February? Sadly, Mr. Williams decided to end this February week with the now banal, vapid black and blue striped cravat that has bruised my aspirations for his Fashion Awakening. This pertinacious predilection for knotting up not only striped ties but those he has recently worn (12/11, 1/2, 2,7) in a neverending parade is really starting to wear on me. I fear February--along with my Fashion Sanity--is lost!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Another Disappointment Has Dashed My Hopes For A Fashionable February

Not one to play cutesy and stoop to holiday themed neckwear, Brian instead knots up a violet tie with a grey faux tweed pattern that wreaked havoc on the cameras of The Nightly for the entire newscast. This ill-conceived cravat appeared to shimmy and shake like a go-go dancer with the DT's. My disappointment is boundless; February started out with such promise, and suis desolee.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Brian's Incessant Stripery and Slavishness To Navy Forces Me To Sarcasm (And Pretentiousness)

In a bold departure from his usual style route, Brian Williams dons a...striped tie with a navy blue background! What? What is this? you may ask incredulously. Do not tell me for one insane moment that Brian Williams of "Nightly News" fame has worn A STRIPED TIE WITH THE COLOR OF DEEPEST DARK BLUE AS ITS FIELD HUE! WHY, THIS WOULD BE UNPRECEDENTED IN THE ANNALS OF CRAVAT-WEARING! SURELY YOU JEST!! Oh, but 'tis true. This time, however, there are red stripes slashing across it in a sanguinary attempt at breaking the monotonous parade of gold that had heretofore had viewers in a sartorial stranglehold.

Sighs of relief abound.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I Am Made Unwell By Brian's Tiresome Refusal To Pay Closer Attention To His Tie Timing

If I were not so overcome with ennui, I'd be consumed by outrage and indignation: back to back gold and deep navy stripes. This time, it's the anaemically thin stripe of maize against the so-dark-it's-almost-black navy, but still...did he not just wear a blue and gold stripe yesterday? Yes. Does he not have plenty of worthier ties, even stripes, that he could have worn instead? Yes. Am I starting to wonder if he's just phoning this whole tie thing in? Yes. Should someone be caring just a little bit more than he is? Yes. Wait. I was supposed to be overcome with ennui....Yawn. Okay. Now I'm back to just being bored into Fashion Oblivion by the copiousness of Brian's commonplace cravats. By the sheer plenitude of his tiresome ties that all share the same blue and yellow palette. Urgh.

Monday, February 11, 2008

A Tie Reminiscent Of Egyptian Royalty

Looking regally dapper, BW knots up one of his standby stripes. This tie immediately evokes the famous mask of Tutankhamen with its generous bands of pale gold and deep blue. A tight four-in-hand with subtle dimple keeps this cravat from being ostentatious. Instead, it has a lofty presence about it, a true royal dignity.

Friday, February 8, 2008

The Cleveland Tie

* Brian wears what will now be forever known as his Cleveland Tie, the cravat he wore on location here in The Home Of The Dept. (and I had to miss him in person because NBC kept the official location a secret, but I digress). What reads as a lovely, deep concord online and on film via NBC is in actuality a cheapo-looking jacquard of either plum or, even worse, a red and blue intarsia knit once it is captured on the less-flattering mode of local affiliate videotape. Thanks a lot, WKYC TV3.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Night Sky Tie

Mr. Williams dons one of his more dramatically striped cravats, a bold mix of onyx and lapis lazuli. This tie is the yang to the yin of Monday's breezy stripe, which called to mind a summer afternoon sky. In tonight's cravat, we see instead the mysterious depths of the heavens at midnight, the moon behind her clouds.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Already A Repeat--There Goes February

Sigh. Already putting a debut tie into heavy rotation, Brian repeats his Senior Citizen Cravat of 28 January. This pedestrian offering of deep navy crisscrossed with silvery grey stripes outlined with tomato red is banal and boring. One can almost imagine it being worn in panelled dens by cardigan-sporting men seated in leather Barcaloungers, who call out to their shirtwaist-wearing wives to bring them a highball.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A Happy Reprise Of A Timeless Classic

Brian's run of favorable February ties continues, and I am pleased to see this cravat make a return. As a matter of fact, it represents the Inaugural Post at The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives, and I reprise it here:

"Tonight's tie was oceanic blue with a pewtery cast. It had a classic foulard print, much like one might find in the endpapers of a Dickens classic bound in leather and shelved in the library of a British former poet laureate. This tie was not stodgy, but had the staid presence of a trusted valet who would not only lay out the correct cravat, but also see to it that the laundress folded your socks, never rolled them."

Monday, February 4, 2008

A Zephyr Of Fashion Sense

This cravat is brisk and breezy; its crisp white and cornflower blue stripes are fresh and clean looking. This tie evokes all things light and airy: kites dancing and diving in the cool spring air; a blatting motorboat speedily skimming the surface of a cerulean lake while its cocky pilot waves to those on shore; sails snapping high on the masts as they billow and fill. It is a welcome waft of tie tastefulness.

Friday, February 1, 2008

An Audacious Tie Brings Hope

* Brian ushers in a new month with panache. While some more conservative viewers might see this cravat as flashy, I see it as splendid. The fire engine red is arresting, true, and the staggered black and white bands intercut with narrow cables of white make a bold statement, but taken as a whole, it is a fashion triumph. Wisely, BW reins it all in with a fine, tightly-controlled knot and, most importantly, the fabric is of excellent quality. This is a Top Tier Tie and we have seen precious little of it. Bravo, Brian, bravo! After the Malaise That Was January, we have hope for February.