Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Yowza! Getta Load Of That Tie!

Oh boy! Brian is back with this super-duper stripey tie of blazing blue and blaring yellow stripes as wide as a kid's grin on the last day of school.  This tie looks like part of a costume, perhaps for one of those amusement park barbershop quartets that keeps you entertained while you stand in interminably long lines. Or worn by an old-timey popcorn or ice cream shoppe counterman who wears one of those odd, boat-shaped paper hats and long, low-bibbed aprons, tossing and twirling the implements of his trade to the delight of his customers.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Heavy Sigh.

SPT.  Again, an impeccable knot is wasted on This Tie.

Monday, June 27, 2011

We Are Not To Be Disturbed

Mr. Williams knots up a debonair tie this evening of muted gold crossed with the narrowest of onyx and pearl stripes.  It is quite fine, yet startlingly familiar.  If there were such a thing as Royal Bed-Ticking, this would be it, and one can imagine the earliest Personages of Divine Right resting their Regal Weariness upon fabric such as this.

Thursday, June 23, 2011


Tonight's tie is the companion to last night's cravat; the template is identical.  These ebony stripes alternate with a pale indigo, however, and the result is less dramatic.  This cravat is the deepening blanket of evening in late October as a chill cools the air, and the musing of a lone French horn as it murmurs the melody.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Dark Side

It's a bold striped cravat for Brian Williams this evening, one of strong lilac and black.  This tie is dark and mysterious, almost sinister in its colouration. There is the deep-throated voice of the bassoon and the mournful moan of the double bass thrumming a warning in the background.  These are the colours of warlocks and nightshades, and the fearsome Maleficent, who haunts the dreams of small ones everywhere.

Monday, June 20, 2011


Another yummy tie for Bri, this one a rich, deep chocolatey offering scattered with blush dotty things uniformly all over.  As a guilty pleasure, she often made herself a small pot of chocolat chaud--in the true French style, of course--and sat at her window seat in the evenings.  She poured it into her finest Limoges teacups and used the saucers.  Sometimes, she tore up the Confectionery's strawberry marshmallows into tiny bits and floated them in the treat, dipping and swirling them with her silver spoon.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

C'mon Kids! It's Time For Some Colouring Fun!

Oh, happy happy joy joy!  If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!  Today, Uncle Brian puts on his Sunny Sky Tie because he's having a Sunshiny Day!  Can you colour your Uncle Brian Colouring Page Tie just like his?  Take out your Sunny Yellow crayon and make some big, fat stripes bright yellow!  Now, take out your Blue Sky Blue crayon and make the other big, fat stripes bright blue!  Have Mummy or Daddy help you cut along the dotted lines with your chubby-wubby safety scissors! Now hold your very own Uncle Brian Sunny Sky Tie up against your shirt, right under your chinny-chin-chin! Yay! You can be on TV, too, one day--just like Uncle Brian!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Tasty Tie

Debut Tie.  Tonight, Brian Williams is sophisticated in a striped cravat of rich nutmeg and maize.  The colors are deep and complex, and the golden stripe is textured and alluring.  As I watch, I am overwhelmed with the desire for this.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Beautiful In Blue

Oh, what a pretty, pretty cravat!  Tonight's offering, narrow stripes of deep ocean and creamy sky, is just pretty.  It's like strolling through Old Town at Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, stopping in all the little shops.  You try on the hats at Beau Chapeau, and marvel at the curiosities at the Butterfly Gallery.  At Cecile's, the fabrics are gorgeous and the aromas transport you to milieux far beyond the torpor or tension of your everyday life.  But you and your companion mustn't linger overlong; you have tickets for a matinee at the Shaw Theatre, and you'd like a glass of wine and a cheese plate first.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

A Fashion Alert Is Issued

This evening's tie of not-too-wide, not-too-narrow navy and white stripes was crisp and splendid, but curiously retro-looking.  Did Brian switch from his usual four-in-hand knot to the wider Windsor?  Was he tying it more loosely overall?  In any case, the total look was one of an Eighties Throwback instead of the snappy, precise broadcast professional.  We here at The Report are On Alert.