Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Brian Breaks Out The Mr. Rogers Of Ties

If Mr. Rogers had a line of ties, this would be his Flagship Cravat. A stunningly banal, unremarkably staid stone grey surmounted by widely-staggered narrow dark blue stripes: it doesn't get any more innocuous than this necktie. This tie goes to work at The Office, comes home to The Wife and 2.5 kids and has a Dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans. Then it is neatly hung on a tie rack until perhaps Sunday, when it attends Bible Study or "Sunday School", then Church Services, at the end of which it shakes hands with the minister, and then goes home to have a Nap before Sunday Dinner. It's not a bad tie; it's just so...ordinary.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I Am Bored By Solid Purples

Sigh. Another run at the solid violet tie, eh, Brian? Not that I don’t appreciate the lovely jewel tone of this amethyst beauty and its deeply saturated color, but really...yawn.

Friday, September 26, 2008

A Veddy, Veddy Ornate Tie

* Brian's tie looks like a medal, all burnished metallic gold and deep, dark navy. Yes, it's another stripe, but with these luxe colors and the opulence of the fabric, it's forgivable. It's not hard to imagine, for instance, Sir Brian donning the ceremonials of The Order of the Garter and giving HRH a bit of the News whilst she has her tea.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Find A Sunny Spot--And Who Brought The Watermelon?

Axis of Evil: The Picnic Tie.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sigh. Jeepers, Creepers, Where'd Bri Get Those Peepers?

This striped tie is one of my favorites, and tonight Brian mixes it up by pairing it with a pale blue shirt, which looked lovely with the cravat’s cream and Crayola blue diagonals. The entire outfit was a tribute to Brian’s own baby blues, which took on an almost alarming prominence, making me forget--just for a moment—that he is a Trusted Voice In News, not an objet de d├ęsir.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Tater Sack Tie

Been a long time since we've seen this particular tie. It looks incredibly like indigo burlap, but it's really got an overlay of tiny grey crosshatching that lends it that texture. Would have been appropriate had it been made of that tater-sack fabric, though, considering what we'll all have left once Bush, Bernanke, and Paulson get done picking our pockets.

Monday, September 22, 2008

A Metaphorical Cravat

Brian, always one for the metaphor, knots up the striped cravat of black and blue tonight as he reports on the bruised and battered American economy. Wall Street is in chaos, and King Henry plans a $700 billion dollar bailout. The Fed's printing presses are putting in a lot of overtime, and if your 401K is looking a little like Rocky in the last round, well, tough. Tie a knot and hang...on.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Brian Leans On A Repeat Cycle

*Really, Brian? I know things have been more than a little...unsettling this week at The Nightly, and you've been wandering from your studio over to CNBC, but to repeat the perhaps-solid-plum tie already (circa Sept. 5) is really treading on the goodwill of The Report. Oh, you may argue that viewers look to you as a Sign Of Stability during These Troubling Times and all that, but honestly.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

I Give Brian The Benefit Of The Doubt On This One

Brian is really mixing things up this week, today adding the chambray blue cravat with dark denim polka dots. Perhaps this chaotic and eclectic panoply of neckwear is his way of reflecting the news on Wall Street: no one knows what the hell is going on and the constant flow of information is by turns alarming and assuaging. We can only hang on for the ride.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Ooh La La Lavender

It's a very dishy tie that Brian has served up this evening. Thanks to an indulgent close-up from The Nightly's cameraperson, the whispery lavender silk reveals some oh-so-subtle crosshatching under that sheen. So sexy.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

It Makes For An Easy Report, But Not-So-Easy Viewing

The second member of the Terrible Triumvirate known as the Axis of Evil makes an appearance--The Gadgety Tie.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Back To The Busy Division, And My Grandma Makes A Surprise Appearance

Overdue as we were for an appearance by this rather hyperactively patterned cravat, it brings me no joy to see it again. Is it a gift from a chemistry teacher who is trying to remind Brian of his water molecule model? Is it Brian's homage to a favorite childhood toy? No matter; this fractal-inspired magenta and blue assault is the kind of print that my grandmother, Ethel Marie, would make a dress out of and then decide was "too busy and too red for church" and relegate to the ranks of frocks worn only to potlucks, "get-togethers", and dinners out.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Brisk, Efficient-Looking Tie

It's a rather sedate and crisp look for Mr. Williams tonight as he knots up a shiny deep blue cravat with narrow white diagonal pinstriping. The fabric has such an obvious sheen that it looks like chintz, and the stripes look as three-dimensional as waxed dental floss. It has the brisk and efficient look of a male secretary who, as he runs down your appointments of the day to you, is simultaneously watering your plant, plopping sugar cubes into your coffee, and nudging your rolly chair out from under your desk with his foot.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Satisfying Retreat To The Mountains

Deep garnet with a jacquard weave is surmounted by widely-scattered ivory dots barely outlined in black. This cravat is a favorite of The Report, and its pattern and fabric have evoked the images of everything from Christmas socks to luggage. I worry that I may run out of Things It Makes Me Think Of. Today, it is reminding me of a cozy couch in a mountainy, foresty getaway lodge full of knotty pine paneling and a rocky fireplace full of popping logs. Sigh.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Tie Report: Taste's Final Frontier

In a sort of pseudo-homage to Star Trek fans everywhere, Brian debuts a tie that looks as if it belongs on the holodeck. The background of this cravat is a lovely red-violet, but the pattern is a shifting iridescent checkerboard of petite, silvery cubes with slightly rounded edges--much like cosmic mini-marshmallows in martial array. Well, beam me up, Scotty, because this tie is a bit busy for this earthling.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Homespun Necktie Inspires Amish Tableau

Brother Brian, stuck for a necktie for his go-to-meetin' suit, turns to his ever-resourceful Amish matriarch, Sister Eliza, who reaches into her sack of quilting scraps and pulls out a hank of deep turquoise calico sprigged with ivory buds. "Here thou art, " she says smilingly, as she fashions it around his neck. "Now be off with ye." And Brother Brian, sneaking a lick of elderberry and rhubarb preserves from the jars cooling on the sideboard, scoots out and onto the set of The Nightly.

Friday, September 5, 2008

It's A Case For The Umpires Tonight

It's a sort of Run On Solids at The Nightly lately as Brian knots up a cravat as deeply plummy as a British parliamentarian's accent. This tie looks as if it might be The Cleveland Tie, which is actually the jacquard woven crimson and blue, but with the lighting being such a variable, who knows? I must call them as I see them, and this one was a gorgeous deep purple tonight.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Subliminal Commentary Cravat

Brian pokes a little fun at the republicans from his perch atop the convention hall by wearing his narrowly striped black and white tie. "Remember when you all used to think in terms of moral and immoral, right and wrong, yes and no?" this cravat seems to say. "Now, suddenly premarital sex is a Family Value and the man you once couldn't wait to embrace and trumpet voting with 90% of the time gets relegated to speaking via video a half-hour before network television coverage. Funny how things get skewed, isn't it?"

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Network Of Change Tie

*Oh, Brian. We have been overdue for this tie of indistinct and indescribable pattern. But I know what you're getting at. Its field color of mulberry--that bluish-red--surmounted by blue circles interconnected with lines...I understand. Seated in your aerie at That Convention, you're telling us that there's an undercurrent of change, even There. You can feel it. They know it. We're coming. We're forming a network of like-minded people all across this Great Nation. We're going to change America by joining together, one by one, and voting blue.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Brian Continues To Send Me Secret Political Messages Via His Cravats

Live from the somewhat-truncated Other Convention, Brian has resurrected the hyacinth blue solid matte silk cravat. It looks decidedly adventurous and fashion-forward in the midst of the staid and starchy atmosphere of conservativism below the NBC loft. Perhaps this is Bri's continued signal to me that he is Coming Around, that he is No Longer One Of Them. I allow myself a small, smug smirk. My heart leaps anew as David Gregory's blue tie appears. Yes!