Thursday, September 27, 2007

Formal Event In A Bag--The All-In-One-Cravat

Tonight's cravat is like a Formal Event in a Bag. Its tuxedo black and champagne stripes of cool, just slightly shining silk make it appropriate for a wedding or a diplomatic reception. Worn with an ebony suit of enviable cut and a pristine white shirt, Brian was indeed looking cosmopolitan and genteel.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Anachronistic Offering: A Debut?

Brian must be holding on to the last vestiges of summer, for the cool pastels of tonight's tie seem very anachronistic for late September. The frosty blushing lilac background crossed with very narrow shell pink diagonal stripes is more reminiscent of Easter bunnies and crocuses than imminent harvest or Halloween jack-o-lanterns. Is this cravat making its debut this evening? I'll have to study the archives to be certain.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. (Last seen on 23 August, for those of you keeping track. Or am I the only one...?)

Monday, September 24, 2007

An American Classic

Imagine leafing through a picture book of early American decorating. Beautiful ceilings of punched tin panels abound. You are intrigued. Luckily, there is an inset that shows the detail, much magnified. Well, paint that panel white and dip the convex punching in turquoise, and you have Mr. Williams's tie this evening. What a curious cravat this is. We have not seen it since 26 February. Clearly, its time had come 'round, and BW, feeling a bit the antiques fancier, felt a return to the past was in order. Some things are just classic and, therefore, never go out of fashion.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Mysterious Center Crease...Unsolved

Brian tries to redeem himself by sneaking in the tie he debuted on 31 August, that nod to the green, eco-friendly granola set, the nubbly raw silk cork-colored solid cravat by which I was so very astounded. Initially. Now I have become jaded and blase and disentranced by most of Brian's neckwear. Especially when, as did this tie, said tie develops and odd center crease for no apparent reason. I found myself fixated upon this strange new development, trying to imagine the circumstances in which it could possibly have happened. Certainly one would not press a tie purposefully for this to occur! It was not occasioned from travel; Brian was reporting from his usual studio. An elevator incident? Highly unlikely. Try as I might, I could not imagine any happenstance in which a center crease of one's tie would result. The mystery...unsolved.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Another Debut Tie, But It Serves Only To Irk Me

Yes, this is another Debut Tie, but I'm not getting excited and let me tell you why. I'm irked, that's why. This narrow stripe of pale lilac and matte black, oddly evocative of 1950s bathroom color schemes, comes on the heels of yesterday's narrow stripe of white and blue. Isn't anyone over there at The Nightly paying any attention whatsoever to the ties that Brian slings over his Adam's apple from one evening to the next? Because obviously Brian isn't. Someone--besides me--should be watching to make sure he doesn't wear two of the exact same kind of tie two nights in a row! I mean, come on, already. Two narrow stripes, both alternating a very light and a deep color, both tied with tight four-in-hands, both of the same width, and both of the same fabric. Anyone could see that! Whatever happened to PRIDE, people? Geeze.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Cruise Ship Reverie Cravat

* The crisp true blue and clean white stripes of this tie are refreshing and cool. They spark an immediate reverie in which you are leaning on the rail of the cruise ship as it cuts through the impossibly clear water below. The air is brisk and feels slightly moist with just a kiss of brine and you breathe deeply and relax. You sense, rather than actually hear, the hum of the engines down below as the huge ship takes you further away from your real life and ringing phones and endless piles of papers and emails and bills and people always talking and taking. You smile, small and knowing at first, then gradually break into a full grin. It doesn't really matter what your ticket says. All you know is that you're headed away.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Sacre Bleu! Anotre Cravate Nouveau!

Brian! Q'uest ce que c'est? Anotre cravate nouveau? In a surprising display of sartorial initiative, Mr. Williams dons yet another heretofore unseen tie, this one rather a departure from the usual purples and stripes, but not a descent into madness of the Mango Episodes. The background is cardinal red, almost scarlet, and upon it are petite asymmetrical spots, irregular ovals if you will, of navy blue scattered about in a pebbled pattern reminiscent of old-fashioned calico, or even close-grained granite. It's quite arresting and has an air of casual sophistication, kind of like the approachability factor so inherent in BW himself.

Monday, September 17, 2007

A Debut Tie: Polka Dots

A Debut Tie! Brian stuns the Nightly viewers with a polka-dot cravate ce soir. This interesting tie reminds me of the brief period my sons went through in their early childhoods when they used to take Bic pens and randomly color on their bluejeans. Luckily, because they were growing exponentially overnight, I bought the boys cheapo no-name jeans at stores like JC Penney and KMart. Brian's tie has the color and even the look of those indeterminately "prewashed" looking jeans, but is more symmetrically dotted with inky blue spots the size of pencil eraser tops. Worn with his navy, subtly pinstriped suit and a crisp white shirt, this was a successful look for Brian. (More urbane than Sam and Jared in their graffiti-esque pants and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle teeshirts, anyway.)

Friday, September 14, 2007

A Positive Comeback for Brian

* This tie reminds me of so many positive things: a breezy fall sky of blazing azure and cottony clouds, the proud cut of the French uniforms in "The Last of the Mohicans" during the parlay scene, my first set of Corning cookware as a hopeful and happy newlywed. The brilliant blue and vanilla stripe of this gorgeous tie practically leaps from the screen, and Brian wisely wears it after the debacle of yesterday's disappointing cravat.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

This Tie Is Forcing Me To Consider A List

* In an ill-advised and bordering-upon-shocking repeat cycle, Brian dons the cranberry tie with turquoise satellite cum Tinkertoy pattern. This tie was just worn on 4 September and is quickly becoming the ugly stepchild of the Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. Soon, a new poll will go up, both here and at The Dept. of Nance. I will be asking if there should be an entire list of ties which should be Dead To Me. This one is fast earning its spot. Sigh.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Black And White Striped Tie Becomes A Philosophy

Brian, you have a lot of striped ties. You have a lot of black and white striped ties. Tonight, you wore another one of them. Quite honestly, it's one thing to mix it up with blue and yellow, or purple and something, but when you try to vary black and white...well, black and white are just pretty much going to be black and white. Oh sure, you can have wide stripes or narrow stripes or the black can be the wider of the two on one tie, or the white can be the wide one on the other, but when it comes right down to it, all black and white striped ties are just that: black and white striped ties. So, if I were you, Brian, I'd pick maybe two of the black and white striped ties and let Mrs. Williams sell the others in a garage sale. Because, really, they're just cluttering up the tie landscape. Thanks.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Perfect Storm

Like the glowering northern sky skirted with low clouds over Lake Erie before a summer thunderstorm, this slate and ivory cravat made a dramatic return this evening. The colors are perfect foils for each other, the rich French vanilla contrasting with the deep gunmetal grey, a hint of blue just under its surface. The stripes are wider than his usual preference, lending an air of opulence, almost a billowing quality. A perfect storm of a tie.

Monday, September 10, 2007

So Far, This Tie Is Spared

* Brian brings on another stripe, this one the Noxzema bottle blue with narrow goldfinch diagonals. I want to dismiss this tie; it saunters dangerously close to the Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me, but it has more depth of color and a crisper look to it, so it is spared. Besides, BW has not tossed this into such a tedious repeat cycle. Yet.

Friday, September 7, 2007

Brian Gets Graded On This Tie

So, this tie keeps getting a pass from me because, well, the red stripes. It's the dark blue background and bright red diagonals. It reminds me of a student composition, in a way. Basic Bic blue ink with some of my bright red Pilot Precise V5 extra fine point rolling writer ink on it, making helpful, critical, and encouraging comments on it in my distinctive way. But this time, there was a wonky knot interrupting the symmetry of the stripe. Watch that, Brian, or I will circle it and write next time, pay some attention to the parallel structure of the composition as a whole.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Licorice Allsorts

I've missed this tie . Its black and white narrow stripes remind me of a licorice allsorts candy, very British and very sharp, almost tannic. It has a polished elegance, yet a nice yacht-y sportsmanlike look to it, the sort of thing that only the English can carry off. You know, like when Her Royal Highness wears a sweater.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

A Second Viewing Yields A Verdict

Brian repeats the tie he debuted on 22 August, one of lapis lazuli briskly crossed with offset pairs of popsicle-purple stripes of some width. Back then, I couldn't decide if it was a bold fashion stroke or a serious style stutter. Well, Readers, upon a second viewing, let me just say this: y-y-y-y-yikes.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

An Appearance By David Gregory

* This cravat is the more palatable version of the hallucinogenic Byzantine mosaic tie. Feeling a bit whimsical, I might describe it as turquoise jacks tossed upon a piece of toast (no crusts and in the shape of a tie) spread with currant jam.

But, in a first for The Tie Report, I must make an aside here to compliment one David Gregory, Washington correspondent, who was nothing less than resplendent in his carnation pink solid cravat. It is a thing of beauty to see a man confidently wear pink, especially a man who is tall, tanned, and impeccably groomed, as is DG. Well played, sir, well played.

Monday, September 3, 2007

Labor Day Tie...And, Oh! How I Labor

* How fitting that Brian Williams hauls out this tired old tie on Labor Day, for I labor once again to try to bring it to life for you. In my ever-diminishing store of creativity, I search for something to bring to this tie...aha! Those colors...that blue...that greyish, puttyish, drab! Now I know what it reminds me of!

Tidy Cat Multiple Cat Formula! Oh, how apt.