Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Theme For April Would Seem To Be "Dismay"

Oh dear. I wasn't even going to put forth a comment regarding this particular cravat, which I do like. What's not to like?  It is the Picture Of Formality: with its stripes of polished sterling and onyx, it is a set of handsome cufflinks and tie clasp by itself.  And its knot was impeccable.  Its timing, however, was...regretful.  A quick check of The Report Daybook will sadly confirm that this tie last made an appearance on The Nightly set just a few broadcasts ago--21 April.  Oh my.  Most unfortunate, as April is already Tragically Bereft Of Fashion Success.

Friday, April 22, 2011

April Is A Travesty

SPT.  I think the entire outfit was recycled.  I am so horrified.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

In Which I Must--Regretfully--Digress

Brian's tie this evening was a rather nondescript offering of silver and ebony stripes, and I was far from inspired. But I hope Report readers will forgive me for straying from the mission of this site in order to express my profound dismay at the heinously egregious cravat of Brian's colleague, David Faber, whose relentless assault upon the mores of Good Taste has been noted here before.  Mr. Faber's tie of salmon and licorice red stripes was horrifying enough on its own, but to pair it with a grey blue jacket and blue patterned shirt is nothing short of an Act Of Domestic Terrorism.  My outrage knows no bounds.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Promise Of Summer

This evening's tie is a pleasant one. Viewers are greeted by narrow stripes of sky blue and sandstone, a welcome reprieve from the Slough of Despair that was last night's offering. Instead, this cravat is like stepping outside on an early spring morning, taken by surprise by the light, brisk breeze. Too cool for doffing the jacket, yes, but the sunny sky holds the promise of warmer days to come, the air has the unmistakeable scent of grass and hyacinths, and you know it won't be long before you'll be taking your lunch hour sitting at a picnic table near the lake, even if all you do is wear your sunglasses and smell someone else's suntan lotion.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You Know, It's Like He Wants To Hurt My Feelings

SPT. We here at The Report are officially at Fashion DEFCON 1 with the appearance yet again of this Catastrophic Cravat. All Nightly Viewers and Report readers are urged to take immediate precautions.

Monday, April 18, 2011

In Which I Lodge A Familiar Complaint

As much as we love to see you out there in NOLA looking rugged and outdoorsy, wearing your jeans and sticking it to the suits at BP, we still wish you'd WEAR A SHIRT THAT FITS!

Friday, April 15, 2011

After The Triumph Of Thursday, I Suffer An Anticlimax

Oh, le sigh, Brian Williams. I'm unfulfilled by this tie. It just isn't working for me. The stripes are a bit wide, and the orchid is cheap looking. The blue is...okay...but why is only it textured, and so aggressively? It's like seeing a great-looking guy and then noticing he's wearing a "Toby Keith for President" teeshirt. Or finding out that your crush has all the "Saw" movies on Blu-ray. I have to walk away. Just...walk away.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Crown Jewel Of Cravats

Bravo, Brian Williams! With the acquisition of this cravat, you have restored my Fashion Faith. This tie had rich texture, colour, style, and elegance. The blue was mysterious and slightly smoky; the narrow white stripes were further inlaid with a wistful, paler shade of the field color. The moment I saw it, I immediately thought of this.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Purple Misery

SPT.  This tie is becoming painful to behold.  Its condition is, to be kind, pitiable.  To continue to wear it on air is, to be tactful, regrettable. This cravat is best put out of its misery so as to put us out of ours.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Every Wardrobe Needs A Little More Brando

Ho hum.  Brian Williams is wearing a perfectly acceptable tie of navy blue crossed by narrow diagonals of ruby red bordered by white.  There is absolutely nothing egregious or scandalous about it.  This tie is like sitting in study hall, thinking about the boy who asked you to prom weeks early, and you accepted, fearing you'd be left at home.  He's nice, not ugly or anything, and he won't embarrass you.  But he's not like that boy, you muse, glancing wistfully at the tall guy reclining in his seat in the corner.  His eyes are half-lidded in sleep, and his distressed leather jacket is cool and...well, sexy.  He might not even go to prom, but...you'd give up going just for a ride behind him on his motorcycle.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I Say!

Tonight, Brian knots up a very classic tie in a traditional foulard pattern. Its background is a silky plumwine, and it is patterned with miniature black squares with white centres. There is something very Nineteenth Century British about this cravat, and it just cries out to instead be a Veddy Veddy Jolly ascot, worn by a quite nice chap balancing a cup of tea--milk, no lemon--on his knee whilst sitting and listening to Lady Something-Hyphenated talk about her Lake District jaunt.

Friday, April 1, 2011

If This Is Someone's Idea Of An April Fool's Joke, We Are Not Amused

SPT.  Oh, ha ha, Brian Williams.