We've Been Waiting For This Tie, My Darlings!

Today Is The Day, Report readers! Brian Williams has broken his longstanding ban and has knotted up a Paisley Tie!  (Yes, it was a petite rendition of the pattern, but certainly the colours were anything but understated.)  Bold cerise and white shapes on a field of periwinkle, this cravat made a statement.  "I am worthy of more than an Endless Parade Of Purple," it affirmed.  "There is more to life than the Diagonal Stripe," it declared.  "Perhaps orange is not the best colour for one's skin tone after all!" it conceded.  A chatty little tie, this, like the niece at a family party who just got her first post-graduate job with a really good salary and a title.  Put a cocktail in her hand, but don't stand there for long.

Even His Collar Was Askew

SPT.  Quelle horreur.

It Is A Conundrum

Ah, it is a love affair that Brian Williams has with his stripes, is it not?  Tonight the affair continues with an onyx and pearl silk striper beautifully knotted.  Too graphic to be romantic, too bold to be subtle, this cravat is like the nouveau riche of the 1920s Gilded Age who could afford the Society but never truly be a part of It. 

When Is A Pie Not A Pie? (When It's This Tie, But There Is Another Answer, Too!)

This tasty cravat is so richly textured.  The mahogany field is striped with bundles of thin gold bands as if bangle bracelets slid down the arm of a bronzed island beauty. Exotic, no?  Yet all I could think of as I watched was this. 

Ceci Est Très Sérieux

SPT.  I realize that there were a few different ties between 7/8 and 7/13, but they were sufficiently unremarkable that I, wrapped in Cravat Ennui, simply could not report on them.  Can any among you deny that we are in a Run O' The Purples?

I...Cannot...Go On

SPT.  In an unprecedented Repeat Cycle of Catastrophic Proportion, Brian Williams has a Back-to-Back Repeat Tie, and it is an Axis Of Evil Reprise.  I...I...I...please send chocolates directly to my Fainting Couch.  Je suis très tragique.

As Seen On TV

SPT.  Brian needs this.

Yowza! Getta Load Of That Tie!

Oh boy! Brian is back with this super-duper stripey tie of blazing blue and blaring yellow stripes as wide as a kid's grin on the last day of school.  This tie looks like part of a costume, perhaps for one of those amusement park barbershop quartets that keeps you entertained while you stand in interminably long lines. Or worn by an old-timey popcorn or ice cream shoppe counterman who wears one of those odd, boat-shaped paper hats and long, low-bibbed aprons, tossing and twirling the implements of his trade to the delight of his customers.

Heavy Sigh.

SPT.  Again, an impeccable knot is wasted on This Tie.

We Are Not To Be Disturbed

Mr. Williams knots up a debonair tie this evening of muted gold crossed with the narrowest of onyx and pearl stripes.  It is quite fine, yet startlingly familiar.  If there were such a thing as Royal Bed-Ticking, this would be it, and one can imagine the earliest Personages of Divine Right resting their Regal Weariness upon fabric such as this.

Quietude

Tonight's tie is the companion to last night's cravat; the template is identical.  These ebony stripes alternate with a pale indigo, however, and the result is less dramatic.  This cravat is the deepening blanket of evening in late October as a chill cools the air, and the musing of a lone French horn as it murmurs the melody.

The Dark Side

It's a bold striped cravat for Brian Williams this evening, one of strong lilac and black.  This tie is dark and mysterious, almost sinister in its colouration. There is the deep-throated voice of the bassoon and the mournful moan of the double bass thrumming a warning in the background.  These are the colours of warlocks and nightshades, and the fearsome Maleficent, who haunts the dreams of small ones everywhere.

Indulgence

Another yummy tie for Bri, this one a rich, deep chocolatey offering scattered with blush dotty things uniformly all over.  As a guilty pleasure, she often made herself a small pot of chocolat chaud--in the true French style, of course--and sat at her window seat in the evenings.  She poured it into her finest Limoges teacups and used the saucers.  Sometimes, she tore up the Confectionery's strawberry marshmallows into tiny bits and floated them in the treat, dipping and swirling them with her silver spoon.

C'mon Kids! It's Time For Some Colouring Fun!

Oh, happy happy joy joy!  If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!  Today, Uncle Brian puts on his Sunny Sky Tie because he's having a Sunshiny Day!  Can you colour your Uncle Brian Colouring Page Tie just like his?  Take out your Sunny Yellow crayon and make some big, fat stripes bright yellow!  Now, take out your Blue Sky Blue crayon and make the other big, fat stripes bright blue!  Have Mummy or Daddy help you cut along the dotted lines with your chubby-wubby safety scissors! Now hold your very own Uncle Brian Sunny Sky Tie up against your shirt, right under your chinny-chin-chin! Yay! You can be on TV, too, one day--just like Uncle Brian!

Tasty Tie

Debut Tie.  Tonight, Brian Williams is sophisticated in a striped cravat of rich nutmeg and maize.  The colors are deep and complex, and the golden stripe is textured and alluring.  As I watch, I am overwhelmed with the desire for this.

Beautiful In Blue

Oh, what a pretty, pretty cravat!  Tonight's offering, narrow stripes of deep ocean and creamy sky, is just pretty.  It's like strolling through Old Town at Niagara-on-the-Lake, Ontario, stopping in all the little shops.  You try on the hats at Beau Chapeau, and marvel at the curiosities at the Butterfly Gallery.  At Cecile's, the fabrics are gorgeous and the aromas transport you to milieux far beyond the torpor or tension of your everyday life.  But you and your companion mustn't linger overlong; you have tickets for a matinee at the Shaw Theatre, and you'd like a glass of wine and a cheese plate first.

A Fashion Alert Is Issued

This evening's tie of not-too-wide, not-too-narrow navy and white stripes was crisp and splendid, but curiously retro-looking.  Did Brian switch from his usual four-in-hand knot to the wider Windsor?  Was he tying it more loosely overall?  In any case, the total look was one of an Eighties Throwback instead of the snappy, precise broadcast professional.  We here at The Report are On Alert.

You Know What I Mean?

I am ambivalent about this cravat, its navy blue field, its raspberry sherbet stripes dribbling down brightly and invitingly.  There's nothing egregious about it, and it's summery and almost pretty.  But because the blue is rather somber, the pink looks shocking and wanders into tacky territory.  It's sort of like strolling past a buffet laden with treats like lobster, brie en croute, and pâté and finding salami rollups and Velveeta.

Bad Fashion Never Dies, It Just Serves To Constantly Annoy Me

SPT.  There is no God.

Off The Set, But Not Out Of Bounds

Il est sans cravat, but for the first time ever, his shirt is not ill-fitting, and he is not wearing a horrid overcoat or jacket of poor design.  Very attractive, Brian Williams.  Quite.

Stranger Things Have Happened

Brian Williams, channelling Ward Cleaver and a little bit of Mr. Rogers, knots up a tie of Play-doh blue with a busy, red, stripey thing happening in there that managed to make this one of the most pedestrian ties ever worn in the New Millennium.  It's like this poor tie, worn by a brilliant but reckless corporate-funded scientist working feverishly in his lab in 1954, got stuck in the hinges of his time machine.  As the scientist set the coordinates to 2011, the machine began to vibrate menacingly and acrid smoke billowed out. As the experimentor clambered out to discover the problem, his cravat caught upon the door.  Loosening the knot, he sacrificed the silk accoutrement and, when he finally stopped the device and looked inside, the tie was gone.  Only to reappear on the back of Brian Williams' chair at The Nightly News Desk.

Evening's Assignation

This evening, Brian Williams knots up a chic and mysterious tie, narrow stripes of smoky lavender and charcoal.  Your cell phone buzzes, and you pick up.  "Meet me in Lilacia Park," your source says sotto voce.  "I'll be right at the entrance, just inside.  Eight thirty.  Don't be late."  A lifelong Chicago girl, you have no qualms about grabbing the train to Lombard for the assignation. This story could make your career. The darkness has just begun to envelop the park and the springtime scent of the lilacs is wafting out around you.  It's lovely and purple.  But now, and for the rest of your life, it will be the aroma of excitement and scandal.

A Nice Tie--But...Who Wants Just Nice?

A field of deep turquoise is crossed by slim bands of sky blue bordered in luminous white. This tie is pleasant, but innocuous and safe in the Fashion Sense. It's the Guy Friend who you can go out with and not make your boyfriend the least bit jealous. It's the angel food cake with fresh fruit for dessert. And it's getting the three-inch high heels, but in black instead of red.

A Royal Comeback

This evening Brian Williams dons a cravat of slim black stripes alternating with burnished gold, the latter bisected by a thread of the contrasting onyx. Quietly, solicitously, the jeweller proffers another velvet case. He carefully slides open the sable top and reveals row upon row of gold herringbone necklaces. It is as if the pharoahs and queens of Egypt, one by one, had unburdened their necks before stepping into their sarcophagi for the ages.

Locked In A Downward Fashion Shame Spiral, Brian Williams Drags Me Down In His Miserable Maelstrom

Now he's just hurting my feelings. First, there was yesterday's flagrant repeat of the 5 May tie, and then today, the Candy Cane/Popcorn Box/Circus Tie worn en ensemble with what can only be described as a Studied Disregard For Fashion Sensibility. How can anyone think, even for one fleeting moment, that a cravat striped with red, crimson, and white can be worn with a pale blue, white-collared shirt and black suit jacket? Except, perhaps, on a dare or upon awakening from a ten-day drunk? I worry that Someone is taking fashion advice from (say it isn't so!) The Before David Gregory.

Tasteful Celebration Et Homage

Brian Williams commemorates his birthday with a decorous stripe of pearl and onyx, impeccably knotted. Its colouring is, perhaps, a sort of salute to The History of Journalism, a celebration of newspapers and the great trailblazing broadcasters of black and white television like Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite, and Huntley & Brinkley.

Nocturnal Regiment

A deep violet-blue background overlaid with a grid of tiny white dots is the offering tonight. It is as if the stars, obeying some Celestial General, have aligned in martial rank and file, ready for a cosmic drill in the night sky.

It's Not Very Happy

SPT.  Oh, Brian Williams.  And on my birthday, too.

The Theme For April Would Seem To Be "Dismay"

Oh dear. I wasn't even going to put forth a comment regarding this particular cravat, which I do like. What's not to like?  It is the Picture Of Formality: with its stripes of polished sterling and onyx, it is a set of handsome cufflinks and tie clasp by itself.  And its knot was impeccable.  Its timing, however, was...regretful.  A quick check of The Report Daybook will sadly confirm that this tie last made an appearance on The Nightly set just a few broadcasts ago--21 April.  Oh my.  Most unfortunate, as April is already Tragically Bereft Of Fashion Success.

April Is A Travesty

SPT.  I think the entire outfit was recycled.  I am so horrified.

In Which I Must--Regretfully--Digress

Brian's tie this evening was a rather nondescript offering of silver and ebony stripes, and I was far from inspired. But I hope Report readers will forgive me for straying from the mission of this site in order to express my profound dismay at the heinously egregious cravat of Brian's colleague, David Faber, whose relentless assault upon the mores of Good Taste has been noted here before.  Mr. Faber's tie of salmon and licorice red stripes was horrifying enough on its own, but to pair it with a grey blue jacket and blue patterned shirt is nothing short of an Act Of Domestic Terrorism.  My outrage knows no bounds.

The Promise Of Summer

This evening's tie is a pleasant one. Viewers are greeted by narrow stripes of sky blue and sandstone, a welcome reprieve from the Slough of Despair that was last night's offering. Instead, this cravat is like stepping outside on an early spring morning, taken by surprise by the light, brisk breeze. Too cool for doffing the jacket, yes, but the sunny sky holds the promise of warmer days to come, the air has the unmistakeable scent of grass and hyacinths, and you know it won't be long before you'll be taking your lunch hour sitting at a picnic table near the lake, even if all you do is wear your sunglasses and smell someone else's suntan lotion.

You Know, It's Like He Wants To Hurt My Feelings

SPT. We here at The Report are officially at Fashion DEFCON 1 with the appearance yet again of this Catastrophic Cravat. All Nightly Viewers and Report readers are urged to take immediate precautions.

In Which I Lodge A Familiar Complaint

As much as we love to see you out there in NOLA looking rugged and outdoorsy, wearing your jeans and sticking it to the suits at BP, we still wish you'd WEAR A SHIRT THAT FITS!

After The Triumph Of Thursday, I Suffer An Anticlimax

Oh, le sigh, Brian Williams. I'm unfulfilled by this tie. It just isn't working for me. The stripes are a bit wide, and the orchid is cheap looking. The blue is...okay...but why is only it textured, and so aggressively? It's like seeing a great-looking guy and then noticing he's wearing a "Toby Keith for President" teeshirt. Or finding out that your crush has all the "Saw" movies on Blu-ray. I have to walk away. Just...walk away.

The Crown Jewel Of Cravats

Bravo, Brian Williams! With the acquisition of this cravat, you have restored my Fashion Faith. This tie had rich texture, colour, style, and elegance. The blue was mysterious and slightly smoky; the narrow white stripes were further inlaid with a wistful, paler shade of the field color. The moment I saw it, I immediately thought of this.

Purple Misery

SPT.  This tie is becoming painful to behold.  Its condition is, to be kind, pitiable.  To continue to wear it on air is, to be tactful, regrettable. This cravat is best put out of its misery so as to put us out of ours.

Every Wardrobe Needs A Little More Brando

Ho hum.  Brian Williams is wearing a perfectly acceptable tie of navy blue crossed by narrow diagonals of ruby red bordered by white.  There is absolutely nothing egregious or scandalous about it.  This tie is like sitting in study hall, thinking about the boy who asked you to prom weeks early, and you accepted, fearing you'd be left at home.  He's nice, not ugly or anything, and he won't embarrass you.  But he's not like that boy, you muse, glancing wistfully at the tall guy reclining in his seat in the corner.  His eyes are half-lidded in sleep, and his distressed leather jacket is cool and...well, sexy.  He might not even go to prom, but...you'd give up going just for a ride behind him on his motorcycle.

I Say!

Tonight, Brian knots up a very classic tie in a traditional foulard pattern. Its background is a silky plumwine, and it is patterned with miniature black squares with white centres. There is something very Nineteenth Century British about this cravat, and it just cries out to instead be a Veddy Veddy Jolly ascot, worn by a quite nice chap balancing a cup of tea--milk, no lemon--on his knee whilst sitting and listening to Lady Something-Hyphenated talk about her Lake District jaunt.

If This Is Someone's Idea Of An April Fool's Joke, We Are Not Amused

SPT.  Oh, ha ha, Brian Williams.

It's About The Environment

What is this? Brian dons the St. Patrick's Day tie? The Report is on guard immediatement. This stripe of verdant green and true blue never makes an appearance unless it's The Holiday. Yet, here it is, looking dapper against a pastel blue shirt. It's sort of an EcoCravat, isn't it? Imagine if a young man went to a posh boarding school and, along with his navy serge blazer with the gold crest, he wore (once a week, on Meeting Day) this tie. On that day, he and his little band of Concerned Environmentalists would discuss banning styrofoam carryout containers at the chip shops in their parish, and decide to circulate petitions to pressure the school commissary to sell drinks only in recyclable containers.

French Springtime

Cette cravate est très française! This tie of black and blush narrow stripes is like looking up into the blossoming trees at les jardins à Luxembourg. The branches stretch dark and brittle, searching for the warmth of the new spring sun while the blooms burst forth like a celebration.

Is There A Full Moon?

SPT. Zut alors et Quelle horreur! Just when I think this Fashion Godzilla couldn't get any worse, it manifests an Apparition of Aberration about two-thirds of the way down. Was it a smudge?...a horizontal fold?...a desk-crease? What was it? We here at The Report are keeping a cross, some garlic, and a copy of GQ close by as talismen, just in case.

Dark Magic

Please enjoy this Classic Cravat Critique from 8 November 2007:

Tonight, Mr. Williams looks debonair in a generous, but not wide, stripe of onyx and muted indigo with a matte satin finish. Dark and alluringly mysterious, this cravat calls up the spectre of a wizard's cape or a necromancer's billowing robes as the spell-caster stands before a flashing pyre.

Spring Beauty

Oh, how lovely! Tonight's tie is a Springtime Pleasure of silver and rosyglow peach stripes. In her dressing-room, Lady Lorena turns at the announcement of a visitor. Her eyes widen as the bulky figure of the knight fills the archway, his polished breastplate gleaming in the sunlight that shafts in from the window. He kneels with some difficulty, and she immediately bids him rise. He is there to request her favour, and she selects from her dressing table a silk--her choicest one--and fastens it to his shoulder where it will flutter like an exotic bird of the dawn.

Some Things Are Better Left Unworn

SPT. And what was with that off-putting crease on the side, under the knot? Was this tie hanging on the back of the office door at The Nightly and it got wedged against the wall or some bookshelves? Was it jammed into a drawer? Or does it have a compartment in the back for a spare pen? Whatever the cause, it has rendered this tie Not Suitable For Viewing.

The Wearin' O' The Green (And Blue, Always The Blue In A Stripe. Sigh.)

With a discreet bow to the holiday, Brian ties on a stripe of deep blue and mossy green. The Report first saw this tie on 17 March 2008, so it must be The Holiday Tie. But, is Brian confused? The Black Watch is Scottish, not Irish.

Chocolates From Childhood

What a delicious cravat Brian has served up this evening. The background is a rich cocoa, and it is besprinkled with an array of peachblossom mini-dots. ( This is really the same tie as 3 March, just in a different color.) In a few glances, I am back at Faroh's Candies with my dad, poring over the glass cases and inhaling the aroma of hand-dipped chocolates. It is a Special Saturday, just us, and for my choice, I pick out a couple of French Chocolates. One is dark chocolate with pink sprinkles--so pretty--and so, so good.

In Which I Channel A Bit Of My Muse, Edith Wharton

A lovely offering from Mr. Williams this evening, narrow grey stripes of slate and wintersky. This cravat is formal, Old New York, where men wore morning coats and bowlers before four o'clock, and at evening dances brought a stack of pristine white gloves so as to offer each partner a fresh, clean hand at her fingertips and waist. It is a letter of introduction, a tip of the hat, and a hand-delivered note to a lady when requesting an hour of her time.

Old Morocco

The warmth of this tie always brings to mind spices, and its overall color is a toasty cayenne. Small flamepoints of saffron wink out from carefully arranged rows, like small fires in front of Moroccan tents where the Berber warriors sit, drinking their green tea with mint, roasting game heavily seasoned from their spice jars.

Shameless Legerdemain by BW and The Nightly Provokes Me To Further Irritation

Was it just me, or did the rest of you see it too? Brian Williams and The Nightly pulled the Old Switcheroo and he wore one tie for the opening of the show, a navy with Carolina blue stripes, and suddenly--shazzam!--there he was, sporting the "Take This, Tie Report, And Deal With It" Repeat Cycle purple tie with black stripes bordered by white. Look, Brian Williams et al over there at 30 Rock, you are pushing it, and pushing it hard. First you try to get a twofer, and then one of them is a Repeater. Have you no shame?

Updated: Thanks to alert reader C., The Report was directed to Brian's blog, where he discusses "Tiegate" and explains the Tie Two-Step. Read it here.

Like A Sharp Stick In The Eye. Okay, Maybe Not That Bad, But It's Getting There

Brian Williams flips The Report the Fashion Bird and rebelliously knots up the oft-worn cravat of January and February, thus undoing any de-stressing accomplished by our week off. The return of the textured wan gold and cornflower blue striped tie is like being seated in front of the kid who keeps kicking your seat. You get a brief reprieve when his oblivious mom thoughtfully unbuckles him and lets him stand, but then he discovers the air vent, and his overreach sends a cascade of Cheerios onto your head below.

We're Back, And All We Can Do Is Be Hopeful For March (And Stay Away From Sharp Things, Just In Case)

We here at The Report took a little hiatus to placate our Snark, and in rapid succession, BriWi wore a series of Decent Ties That We Had Not Seen In A While. After having girded our loins, we promised that we would at least see out February, and we all witnessed what happened here: In a blatant display of Fashion Petulance, Brian Williams knots up the tie of 4 February, which I railed against considerably. It's not as if I dislike this cravat, with its brooding dark background and its bright bands of marmalade pinstriped with fresh white. I am just weary of it making such a pest of itself this month, like the little neighbor kid who won't stop parking his trike on your front walk and hanging out on your porch every time you are outside. He's charming and all, but sometimes, you just wish he'd stay home for a while and give you a chance to miss his company.

This Is Why I Always Unpack--First Thing--The Minute I Get Home From A Trip

What has happened to this tie? Its wide buttery and suitcoat navy stripes have gone slightly off, and now it looks sort of...icky. The yellow looks a bit greenish, like a blonde's hair after swimming too long in an over-chlorinated pool. Maybe Brian Williams left this tie in a cheapo blue suitcase up in a hot attic and there it stayed, wadded up in one of those side pockets, perhaps next to a bottle of rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer that slowly leaked, then evaporated, leaching into the tie and forever changing its sunny hue into something a little more...bilious.

...And Then February Took A Turn For The Worse

SPT.And possibly because of overtying, the knot looks elongated and fatigued; the dimple offside and cavernous. Urk.

Summer Curfew

Tonight's tie is a deceptive pattern of minute purple mesh over white, which looks at first glance like a solid lilac cravat. Upon closer inspection, though, you can see the fine screen, like looking through your friend's back door in summer, hoping he's finally done with dinner so that he can come out for a while to ride bikes, street-skate, or have a few games of Mother May I until the street lights come on and you have to be home.

Maybe We Were Hungry For Something Different...Or Just Hungry

Brian Williams knots up a warm cravat of paprika silk with an overlaid grid of widely spaced golden pinprick dots. It's toasty and spicy, like a comforting bowl of red curry and rice, not too hot, and a steamy basket of naan.

Down To The Last Detail

This evening's cravat is a sleek stripe of black and silver. It is flawlessly knotted and the epitome of sophistication. It is the black Benz and the penthouse apartment, the stainless and obsidian granite chef's kitchen, the chrome and opaque glass hi-tech gadgets that lay scattered on the vast and somehow masculine coffee table. One buzzes and jitters, lighting to life. He glances at it briefly, blushes momentarily, and asks if you'd care for red or white.

...And So It Continues, Day After Day, In This Month Of Misery Pour Moi

Thumbing his metaphorical nose at both fashion and The Report, BriWi defiantly knots up the tie of February 7. This classic of deep amethyst with onyx stripes banded by pearl is lovely, indeed, but we just saw it two days ago. I still have the impressions of the last Report; I can't craft a new perception of this cravat already! Why, Brian, do you always ask so much of me? Pourquoi êtes-vous si cruel?

There Is, It Would Seem, No End To This General Malaise De Cravates

Solid Purple Tie. Nice texture, but we don't give points for that here.

In Which I Lay The Smack Down And Have To Introduce A Little Reality Therapy

Wow, Brian Williams. Wow. I would like to make excuses for you; say that you are, perhaps Snow Blind, that you are suffering--like the Rest Of Us--from Cabin Fever, and that is why you are constantly lapsing into Repeat Cycles like this one, wearing again the stripe of waffly-textured champagne and summersky blue, but the Reality is this. You just went to Egypt and Jordan! You were in foreign lands beset by conflict and strife! You were sans cravat for that adventure! Pull yourself together, man, and find your Other Ties!

Elegant Paradox

This evening Brian returns to an old standby Purple Striped Tie, and one he has leaned on heavily as of late. Its true violet field is crossed with ebony diagonals bordered by slim, pearl bands. This cravat is formal, but not stuffy. It is a grandfather who wants to be called "Grandfather," but who will still tickle you and slip you bubblegum at church. It is an outdoor reception, but with linens and silverware. It is a nosegay of violets in a silver vase.

Is There Such A Condition As Tie Alzheimer's? For That Is The Only Excuse I Shall Accept For These Constant Repeat Cycles Henceforth

I am thisclose to condemning this tie to The Den Of Ubiquity (aka The Axis Of Evil). When BriWi first started up with this cravat, I admired its midnight sky background and those stylish flame-coloured stripes bordered by slim, starry pinstripes. It was debonair and suave, classic and sophisticated. Now he's begun to lean on it like a birdlike old woman on a nephew's obliging arm. If B-dub doesn't start remembering that he has lots of Other Ties, the Axis is going to get Positively Pudgy.

Stormy Weather

This tie is moody and dramatic, but not like that Goth kid in study hall who keeps his head bent over his Moleskine knockoff as his black polished fingernails pull incessantly at his Koolaid-tinted hair. No, this jet and whisperpurple stripe is more like the scent of lilacs breathing through your window during a midnight thunderstorm.

Has The Nightly Moved To Punxsutawney? What Can Be The Meaning Of This Continued Sartorial Effrontery?

Oh, hey. Why not just read Friday's Report because he is wearing the very same cravat tonight. I feel like January cannot, possibly ever, be over soon enough. What an affront to Fashion, Nightly Viewers, Camerapersons, Menswear Designers, oh for heaven's sakes--PEOPLE WHO WEAR CLOTHING everywhere.

If Certain People are not going to put forth an effort, then I don't see any reason to either.

The Many Facets Of Fashion

Mr. Williams is making up for any previous Fashion Faux Pas with the ties of Friday and tonight. This evening's offering of slim stripes alternating ebony and apple blossom is a favourite of The Report. If this cravat had a name, it would be Julian or Geoffrey; if it were music, it would be smooth jazz or a classical quartet; if it were food, it would be croissants with brie, pear, and house-made charcuterie; if it were a city, it would be, naturellement, Paris.

He Stoops To Court Her

What a sophisticated, classic cravat Brian Williams has tied on tonight! Pale, champagne gold textured stripes alternate with more slender bands of royal blue. The audience is respectfully hushed and lifts its eyes expectantly to the royal box. As the nobles are seated, one dashing young lord glances down at the mezzanine. Their eyes meet; she is no one, but lovely, and her eyes are kind and somehow wounded. He is captivated immediately. He motions to the equerry as the house lights go down.

In Which I Am Completely Insulted, As We All Should Be

Oh, hey. Why not just read Monday's Lamentation because he is wearing the very same "ensemble" tonight. I feel like January cannot, possibly ever, be over soon enough. What an affront to Fashion, Nightly Viewers, Camerapersons, Menswear Designers, oh for heaven's sakes--PEOPLE WHO WEAR CLOTHING everywhere.

I Am Receiving No Compensation For This Report, But Any Of Them Can Toss Cash At Me

You've got to hand it to BriWi. Not everyone will knot up a tie with bright red and deep red and white stripes when it's not Christmas and do so with the unabashed aplomb (or unblinking cluelessness) of this Nightly denizen. As the viewer struggles to get past the initial Candy Cane Association, his or her mind immediately connects to other familiar images: the theater popcorn box, the Cat in the Hat's chapeau, the Target logo. Are any of these suitable conveyances for America's Most Trusted Voice In (Real) News? Something to think about.

2011--The Year Of The Snark

I am thisclose to relegating tonight's cravat to the Axis Of Evil. I mean it. Remember not so very long ago when I used to wax tres romantique about its jet navy background and its slim stripes of shy, blushing pink? I found it tres Francais, and I used to smile at its appearance above The Nightly desk. In the intervening days, weeks, and now months it has become so ubiquitous, so omnipresent, so Everestlike in its very there-ness that a mere glimpse of it makes me epically snarky.

In A Battle Such As This, We All Lose

Here at The Report, we can think of no reason for Brian Williams to have chosen This Particular Ensemble this evening--or ever, for that matter. The cravat, long an object of dismay and horror, battled unceasingly for Fashion Legitimacy with its accompanying black pinstriped jacket. Alas! Nothing could save it. Nothing! When one is a lurid orchid striped with leering ultramarine blue, it is very nearly a Lost Cause. And when one is additionally burdened with the mysterious proclivity of fuzzing and blurring like an old mimeographed worksheet, it is time to Give Up. Would that BriWi would do the same and add this tiresome tie to the Donate Pile.

I've Got Brian's Resolutions Right Here

Really, Brian Williams? Is this what the New Year will bring? I'm All For Orange, but I'm not On Board with Repeat Cycles and Callous Disregard and Cavalier Disinterest About Neckwear In General, which is what you seem to be expressing with your slapdash attitude in slinging on the smoked navy tie with the slim stripes of tangerine bordered in narrow cream pinstripes. You put this cravat into Heavy Use at the end of 2010, and here it is, heralding 2011. Nous ne sommes pas amusés.

Orange Is The New Purple

Orange may be the New Purple for Brian Williams; he has been firmly introducing it to his Cravat Wardrobe now for some time. Tonight, bundled against the blustery aftermath of Significant Weather in New York City, a stylish stripe of burnished pumpkin and dark blue peeps out of his sturdy stormcoat. Later on set of The Nightly, properly unfurled, it is as classic and rich as a pecan pie, or a heaping helping of buttery mashed potatoes and turkey gravy, or a silver punch cup with custard eggnog and a dollop of whipped cream.

And We Won't Go Until We Get Some

Well, Merry Christmas to you, too, Brian Williams! How nice of you to giftwrap your shirtfront for all the Nightly viewers with that Twizzler red tie striped with snow white piping! Really puts us in the Holiday Mood. Now bring us some figgy pudding and bring it right here.

In The Fashion World, Understated Does Not Mean Boring

Tonight Brian goes for the understated and urbane look of a smoky navy blue tie with antique white stripes. Looking closely, one can see a discreet burgundy stripe on either side of the latter, barely discernible, but present. This tie is a modest benefactor, an anonymous philanthropist, that faceless bidder on the telephone at an auction who, when the price skyrockets and one by one, the rest drop their paddles, murmurs a single syllable from across the wires, and his proxy lifts her hand one last time to claim his objet de désir.

Brian Williams Heeds Not The Poetic Advice Of Robert Frost And Knots This One Up Yet Again

Brian has been putting this tie into heavy rotation. It's the one with the ebony field crossed by pumpkin diagonals bordered in slim white pinstripes. Seeing it over and over and over again is like travelling Route 80 East in the summer. You look out your window and it's a blur of pavement and orange construction barrels and you wonder if any road project anywhere is ever, ever done.

In Which I Make An Early Justin Timberlake Reference But Regroup Nicely And End With Less Pop Culture Allusion

Brian Williams is on a campaign to Bring Sexy Back to the Purple Tie with this sharp silk stunner. Its sleek intarsia pattern of minute purple checks is sort of a nouveau tweed. It's sophisticated and suave. It's perfect martinis at a neon-lit glass bar. It's a gleaming silver limo purring up to the curb as you step out of the hotel, late. It's reaching back for the sleeve of your coat and finding it held by the handsome gentleman whose eye you caught earlier, as you both waited for tickets at the opening.

Frankly, My Dear Readers, I Don't Give A Damn About This Tie

In a stunning appearance on the day after Thanksgiving, Brian Williams calms his viewers by wearing a rather nondescript cravat. This one, the violet blue with almost indiscernible pattern of checks? mini houndstooth? in ash, is like the railroad yard casualty scene in Gone with the Wind. "Oh, yes," you say, "I remember it being there." But can you recall any specifics about it?

Life Is Too Short For Bad Fashion, And Tonight's Ties Made Me Feel More Than A Bit Suicidal: Conspiracy?

Just when you think the news can't get any worse, what with North Korea antagonizing South Korea and the TSA copping feels with reckless abandon, Brian Williams slings on tonight's Tie Travesty, and thus begins a downward Shame Spiral of Tragic Ties worn by every male appearing on The Nightly this evening. From BW's horrific ultramarine blue raw silk with anorexic pink stripes to the guest with the sad brown houndstooth to Pete Williams' jarring Salute To Spring In Stripes cravat, I felt brutally assaulted by men's neckwear this evening. If tomorrow's opening bell at the NYSE heralds a huge drop, we will all know who is to blame.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

The Report is noticing an odd and dangerous trend. Brian Williams is stuck in a Cravat Fashion Loop. Yesterday he wore the same tie of 10 November, and tonight, 9 November's offering. If he knots up a solid lavender tomorrow with a telltale spot, someone at The Nightly had better do an Intervention.

I Don't Know Whether To Review This Tie Or Salute It

A familiar palette for Brian Williams tonight: gold and royal blue. The cravat is a shiny silk of rather wide stripes and gleams radiantly. It is almost victorious and jubilant, like a rippling flag of military colours waving on the field of battle, or a banner snapping briskly at the head of a brass band in a town parade.

Brian Brings Out An Old Standby, And I Am Smitten Once Again

Oh, I do love this tie. Yes, even though it is a Purple and a Stripe, I love it. The purple of its background is a rich, true purple; the stripes are boldly graphic--black bordered by white. It's smart and sexy, like walking into your Econ 501 class and seeing the prof is a dead ringer for George Clooney.

Evenglow

Brian does so love a striped tie, and this one has a familiar template. The background is a smoky navy blue, but the narrow stripes are a vivid tangerine bordered by slimmer bands of ivory. The effect is like a darkening fall sky, heavy with the chill of a winter cold front. The lowering clouds are deep, but as the sun begins to sink, it gilds the edges of the ominous brow a gleaming orange, and its rays cast a final glow across the landscape.

A Story In Textures

Tonight's cravat is dark blue with small claret intarsia-patterned tiles. In a quiet corner of the gallery, he sees her, lost among the woodcuts and textiles. She's wearing a rakish red beret, and he feels stodgy and out of place in his business suit. Her fingertips instinctively brush every piece, and his heart aches.

Even Though It Was A Lovely Shade Of Iris, And While I Am Sympathetic To A Worsening Cold, I Dare Not Lower My Standards

Solid Purple Tie. And was that a...stain?

If You've Always Wanted To Own One Of Bri's Ties Or Get His Autograph And Do Something Charitable, This Post Is For You!

The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives is pleased and proud to host this guest post today. We are honored to do our small part to promote a very worthy cause and use Our Power Of The Interwebs for Good. Please read the following post with interest and find out how you might own one of Brian Williams' very own Cravats, worn on The Nightly and autographed by Himself, as well as bask in the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from a kind and giving heart. Thank you.

NIGHTLY NEWS ANCHOR GIVES CLOTHES OFF HIS BACK (NECK) TO HONOR FORMER NBC COLLEAGUE JOAN SCARANGELLO OF "JOAN'S LEGACY"

In a gesture that illustrates his respect and care for his colleagues, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams is donating six of his ties--to be auctioned as one lot--to this November’s silent auction to benefit Joan’s Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer. The ties – all worn on air and signed on the back – will raise money for innovative lung cancer research in memory of Joan Scarangello, a Nightly writer who died of lung cancer in 2001 at 47 and a never-smoker.

Brian, along with Tom Brokaw, will co-chair the foundation’s benefit on November 17 at New York’s Gotham Hall. The party, called the “Strolling Supper with Blues & News” will also feature a performance by blues great Delbert McClinton, the awarding of 14 new lung cancer research grants, the announcement of the winner of the foundation’s journalism award (the “Joanie”) and a remarkable silent auction. Tickets for the benefit start at $300 and can be purchased at http://www.unitingagainstlungcancer.org/ and by calling 212-627-5500. Bids on Brian’s ties and all other silent auction items can also be made online or by phone up until November 17 at noon.

Joan’s Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer is the largest private funder of lung cancer research grants. The non-profit has given more than $7.5 million in individual $100,000 grants to more than 60 institutions in 22 states. In addition, the foundation has committed an addition $5 million to North America’s premier early detection research “dream team” project, Canary Lung.

Lung cancer kills more Americans than any other cancer – and more women every year than breast, uterine and ovarian cancers combined. Yet it receives less funding than any other major cancer because of the stigma of smoking. Today, 60 percent of all lung cancer patients never smoked or had already quit smoking before their diagnosis – and only 1 in 9 of them is likely to live five years or more from the day they find out.

Brian’s donation to Uniting Against Lung Cancer includes the cravat he wore on the October 8 broadcast of Nightly News from Los Angeles, reviewed by The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives as “A Misbegotten Choice from the Underbelly of Fashion.” He is choosing the others more carefully!

Brian’s ties are just one of the amazing silent auction lots. Others include:

· Having your name as a character in the next David Baldacchi best-seller
· Guitars autographed by Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Bon Jovi, Counting Crows and the Black Crowes
· Front row seats at any Times Square concert from “Good Morning America”
· In-Studio viewing of any NBC “Meet the Press” broadcast in the network’s Washington, DC closed set
· Set visits and cast meetings at “House” and “Two and A Half Men” and “Parenthood” in LA
· Tickets to the “Daily Show” “Colbert Report” “Saturday Night Live” and “The View”
· Fantastic seats for Jets, Giants, Yankees, Mets and Nets games
· Vacations (Napa, Italy, Palm Beach, Nantucket, New York)

...and much more

To see the full list of silent auction items, please visit http://www.unitingagainstlungcancer.org/events/SS2010

TO BID ON BRI'S TIES: call Uniting Against Lung Cancer at 212-627-5500

A Little Early For A Ghoulish Appearance By The Spectre Of An SPT, Don't You Think, Brian Williams?

Solid Purple Tie. The raw silk's nubbly texture is nice, but...you know.

I'd Much Rather Have The Martini, Actually

Oh, this tie! The colours are off-putting enough--vivid thistle with ultramarine blue stripes--but it has such an odd habit of furring and blurring at the left edge. It's like when I put my bifocal contacts in wrong--the left in my right eye, the right in my left--and the world is suddenly wonky. I can see pretty well, but things have a surreal quality, like I've had one too many martinis but no accompanying jollity, just the feeling of being a bit squinty and not-nice.

In Which I Become Lost In A Fictional Reverie

Reporting from Los Angeles, Brian Williams is sophisticated in his silk cravat of stormcloud crossed with burgundy diagonals snugged by a slim platinum pinstripe. The dashing young valet offers his arm to the guest. She is dressed, shockingly, in a ruby red gown for this sombre occasion. The short veil on her hat lends her some discretion, but it is clear that she is not mourning the loss of her fiance. Demurely, she smiles up at him, her even white teeth looking almost vulpine in the dim light of the funeral parlor. He is caught unaware, smiles self-consciously, and all is observed under the watchful eye of Lord Felton-Hayes nearby.

Nightscape

It's a stripe of ebony and orchid this evening from Brian Williams. As Night draws her coverlet ever closer over the city skyline, the last wisps of Twilight's purple glow disappear beneath its folds. The landscape blinks awake slowly, comes alive, and glimmers in the dark.

It's Retro Night At The Nightly Lounge

Tonight Brian knots up a classy silk of plum with a subtle black pattern of stripes that, at a distance, can double as a sort of nouveau tweed. It's very Rat Pack, very snazzy, kind of "microphone in one hand and highball in the other with a lot of piano riffs while I sip and nod knowingly during the bridge." Order me a sidecar, Bri, while I visit the little girls' room to powder my nose.

Winter On Erie

Stripes of slate and frigid white array themselves in marked contrast on this cravat. An icy wind whips the lake into a jagged chop. The waves batter the rocks, each time leaving behind a frosty welt. Sleet pelts the shore birds and the lone ore boat hunkers down for a long night.

Usually, I Applaud A Pink Cravat, But This One Is A Misbegotten Choice From The Underbelly Of Fashion

Brian bends to select from the Lower Tier Of Taste this evening. A background of raspberry sherbet showcases stripes of black? jet navy? intersected with white, and the result is...well, let's just say that I was imagining a scenario in which a small-town diva from Steersbelly, Arkansas, or maybe Bullnose, Tennessee, was wandering around WalMart, doting mother in tow, her homecoming gown frothing in her hand saying, "Well, his tie has to match my dress. IT. HAS. TO. So just keep looking for a tie this color. Period. I don't care what it has on it."

Child's Play

Brian dons a tie striped with fawn and sky blue this evening. Its pleasant tones are reminiscent of a child's sidewalk chalk picture, perhaps a blurry blue bunny or dusty azure cloud against the sandstone walkway, waiting until Caleb or Kaitlin returns from a lunch of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese and a juice box before the capering yellow ducky or smiling sunshine joins the fun.

I Know It Seems Like I'm Only Focusing On The Negative, But It's Been A Tough Month And These Are Easy To Report

Solid Purple Tie.

One Should Either Be A Work Of Art Or Wear A Work Of Art (Or At The Very Least, Pay Tribute To An Artist, Apparently)

If Mondrian had been married and helped his wife design the nursery for Little Piet, Brian's tie tonight would have been its wallpaper. Whispery hyacinth blue formed the background for small white minimalist squares, each with darkened centers. The geometry of the cravat is subtle, yet there, and even a baby Neo-Plasticist can still feel comforted by truly groundbreaking Art.

...Yet I Cannot Relent

SPT. True, it was rich and plummy and less egregious than some, but There It Was.

In Which I Suddenly Find Myself Reviewing An Axis Tie, Against My Own Better Judgement And Protocol, But It's One Of Those Things, You Know?

The Gadgety Tie makes a surprising comeback. Truth be told, I was almost taken in by its light-hearted silliness, like a mime trying too hard to entertain you as you wait in a neverending line at some Amusement with the children who, though you are there For Them, are acting perfectly beastly. Beastly enough that a mime, heretofore irksome, is a welcome respite from the puling brats now sweating and jerking on your arms.

In Which I Am Both Fraught With Drama And Wracked By Indecision

Wow. I know. Do I call it or do I review it? This cravat, in all its red-violet, marginally magenta Solid Almost-Purple glory, is a tough one. A few times, it caught the lights and became shifty and iridescent, like those early millennial bridesmaid and prom dresses that were so popular, and begged to be dubbed the dreaded SPT. But as B-Dubs droned on about The Hostage Drama, I became one to This Tie, transfixed as it became again more pomegranate than purple. Perhaps another viewing....

Tasty Tie

This evening Brian knots up a cravat of rich deep brown crossed with slim icy blue stripes shot with a thread of a darker hue. It is like a box of decadent chocolate truffles, each dusted in a cloud of cocoa and nestled in a ruffle cup of Tiffany silk.