Grab Your Dessert Fork (It's The Smaller One After The Salad Fork) And Enjoy This Sweet Memory

Back from a Tuesday night off, Brian knots up one of The Report's favorite cravats. It's a veritable dessert of a tie, and I'd like to take you back to 16 March 2009 for its debut with this Classic Cravat Critique:

This one is an oxblood Ivy Leaguer with widely spaced, narrow stripes of pearlescent white shot through with a thread of the darker color. All I could think about as I carefully analyzed that tie was a slice of dark chocolate red velvet cake with glossy whipped white frosting, and pretty soon I was settling for graham crackers and this. Not the same; not even close.

This Cravat Needs To Hit The Trail

Brian knots up a plummy tie with tiny white dots in regimented rows this evening. Frankly, I'm thrown by this cravat. It's got an odd prairie-calico feel to it, and I have this image of burdened Conestogas lumbering across wide, grassy territories while brave women peer out, eyes shaded from the sun by tanned hands held visor-like over their eyes. Their bonnets are dusty and faded, and with the other hand, they carefully tuck their long skirts and petticoats around their legs and into the wagonbox so that they don't become entangled in the spokes of the wheels.

Ties like these, and their purple-hued allies, constitute an axis of evil, aiming to threaten the Fashion of the world...." (This Is A Quote!)

True, it is lilac, but it is still a Solid Purple and thus, it is in the Axis Of Evil. Trust me, it hurts me far more than it hurts you.

Back At The Nightly, Bri's Tie Is Star Litely

Back from Arizona, Brian warms things up in New York with his tie tonight. It reminds me of Brach's Cinnamon Star Lites, a now discontinued hard candy. Each spicy red disk bore slim white stripes, and the sweet was temptingly shiny. I'd prefer Mr. Williams not discontinue this cravat, however, as I do like it, far more than the overly hot mint from Brach's.

Beware The Deceptively Modern Tie: More Than Meets The Eye

This tie, a silver and black stripe, looks very high-tech and modern. It reminds me of the interior of a snazzy car, or a sleek remote control, or even a new kitchen full of those black and stainless steel appliances that look so cheffy and professional. I half expected it to turn into a Transformer or something and take over the studio.

Certainly Not The Gold Standard Of Cravats, But Nothing That Will Tarnish His Reputation

Debut Tie. Kudos to Brian for mixing it up a bit with a new tie that is not a stripe nor a purple. But what to make of this matte gold silk solid? I'm ambivalent, really. It's not exciting enough to make a statement, good or bad. There's no pattern to comment upon one way or another. It's kind of like going out to eat at Applebee's: you'll probably get a decent meal, but certainly nothing that you'll make conversation about the next day. As a matter of fact, that same night, you might not even remember what you ate, just that you did and it was pretty okay.

To Everything There Is A Season. (Now If Someone Will Just Inform The Media...)

Brian ushers in those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer with this breezy cornflower blue cravat with its trio of whip-thin white stripes widely staggered across it. One look at this tie and we can already feel the breezes of July rippling the surface of the lake as we skim across it, or the nubbly terrycloth of our swim towels as we try to smooth them over the sandy beach where we've claimed our spot in the warm sun. Except that this is NOVEMBER, that tie is clearly out of season, and it's just plain wrinkled. Sigh. Will someone over at The Nightly at least invest in a steamer?

A Tie Reporter's Guide To The Galaxy...Sort Of. (Forgive Me. I Needed A Catchy Title.)

Tonight's striped tie--a respite from The Purples--was of jet navy with slender diagonals of vivid white at wide intervals. They were luminous and vibrant and, against the dark background, reminiscent of an artsy photo of a roadway at night, the headlights of traffic making earthbound contrails of automotive neon as they light the ways of passengers and drivers to destinations unknown to the curious and cosmic observer.

So Soon The Axis Of Evil Rears Its Ugly...Knot

Sigh. Solid Purple Tie. (Although, this one is really one of the nicer ones he owns.)

Wake Me Up When He Wears A Really Good Tie, Won't You?

Yawn. Brian chooses from his plethora of cravats in this palette of navy and gold the one of true navy blue and narrow wheatfield gold stripes. What's to say? It's so predictable and pedestrian that it's like trying to describe a brown mutt or a piece of white bread toast. Oh, sure, you could, but why bother, really?

Sometimes I Feel As If A Certain Person Over At The Nightly Is Yankin' My Chain

Upon first viewing this tie, I started fuming and readying the Axis of Evil icon. "Another Solid Purple!" I snarked to my husband. "Already!" But then the Nightly's cameraperson zoomed in for a tight shot, the lighting changed, and that sneaky blue-violet tie with the imperceptible burlap-esque grey pattern was revealed. It's sort of like grabbing the dark socks out of your drawer in the morning and not being sure if you've gotten the navy ones or the black ones. You go ahead and yank them on and it's only when you get to work--under the fluorescent lighting--that you see those navy blue ankles poking out from under the black pantlegs. Sigh.

Of Course, Now It Is Politically Incorrect, But Back Then, I Just Drank It And Was Perfectly Happy

* Returning to an oft-worn favourite of The Report this evening, Brian Williams ties on the claret jacquard with widely-spaced circlets of buff-colour rimmed in black. It makes me hearken back to a pleasure of my youth, "Pop Nights," those Wednesdays and Saturdays when we kids were allowed to drink the soda of our choice with our bedtime snack. One of my frequent choices was Cherikee Red, a bright red cherry fizzer whose sparse bubbles clung to the glass and sparkled alluringly. It didn't stay effervescent for long, though, but no matter. It tasted just as good flat as it did bubbly.

Fall Campfire

Tonight, it is the creamy orange and weathered-grey striped cravat. Outside the cabin, the autumn night is clear and cold. The fire pit's remnants are mostly ash, the sticks now merely memories of the crackling flames they once held. As I skewer a couple of fluffy marshmallows onto my long cast-iron fork, I lean forward and blow gently onto the dying coals, feeling the phantom heat warm my face. In an instant, the grey soot scatters and the embers softly glow anew.

A Lighter Shade of Purple Is Acceptable And, In This Case, Most Peaceful And Pleasant

Brian knots up the smoky-toned lavender solid this evening. Its restful grey notes evoke a foggy mountain range, the distant peaks shrouded in the sleepy clouds of early morning; a fragrant lavender field in Provence, the silvery fronds of foliage barely tinged with fragrant buds; and the softening wisps of twilight's dusky nightshade drawn across the stage of the sky at sundown.

We Wish To Make An Announcement (Regretful Though It Is)

It is after much deliberation and careful consideration--and fretful consternation--that tonight, I add all Solid Purple Ties to the Axis of Evil. Quite simply, The Report has had enough.

He's Back, And November Bodes Well Et Tres Francais

After being sans cravate in Afghanistan, Brian is back in NYC sporting a bold necktie of broad, icy pink and what The Report shall now call "jet navy"* stripes. Ooh la la! This tie is tres charmant, and makes me think, inexplicably, of French things, like the striped awning of a chocolatier; the haute couture of a fashion show; and the statement of an elegant pet.

*jet navy=is it black or is it navy blue? too close to call

Before The Rush

In a tie such as this, with its slender sea blue and white stripes, one can hear the snap of pristine linen as it is readied for a table for two. The snowy cloth and its quiet silver sconce are snugged under a wide window overlooking the water, blue and inviting, glimmering in the waning moments of the late afternoon. The dining room is quietly empty, awaiting guests and the accompanying murmurs of conversation, the ballet of waiters, and the soft jazz of the bar.

Dialogue

"Hello, Miss Paloma. Before we begin, I'd like to say that I'm here because I got this Fashion Consultation as a gift. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with the way I dress. For example, this tie here. I happen to like it quite a lot. Nice purplish with blackish-bluish sorta stripes with some more whitish skinnier stripes on either side of those. Don't you think purple is a pretty big stylish color? I mean, it's not like it's just a blue tie or something. Or brown. After all, I'm a serious news man. I have bigger things to think about than---what's that? Yes, I know I have a lot of purple ties. Yes, and a lot of striped ties. No, I don't have any paisley ties. Green? Ummm...I'd rather not talk about that color; I have a bad association there. Website? What website?”

Just In The Nick Of Time! Thank You, Nightly Cameraperson.

What a sneaky tie this is, with its barely discernible pattern of subtle charcoal houndstooth (checks?) upon a field of violet blue. Perhaps, Dear Viewer, you did as I did, and began wailing and gnashing your teeth, thinking as you strode innocently into your Television Room, that Brian was wearing Yet Again The Solid Purple Tie. And as you irefully picked up your sofa cushion to fling wrathfully against the screen, you suddenly became becalmed--oh, just a modicum--because The Nightly's Cameraperson deftly zoomed in for a Seventh-Cavalry-Serendipitous Closeup, and saved the day. (And your telly.)

Even This Would Not Be A Good Enough Excuse

Brian Williams apparently went out to a friend's oceanside home yesterday evening after work and, after a lovely clambake and a bit too much to drink, fell asleep on the verandah. Awakened late by the cries of the seabirds, he hurriedly yanked loose a strip of the canvas awning and fashioned it into an ersatz cravat. Rumpled as it was, he knew that its wrinkles were the least of its faults: the cornflower blue and trios of narrow white stripes--clearly not in an autumnal palette--would doom it at The Report.

In Which I Struggle Mightily Through My Disgust And Dismay And Manage Two Pop Culture References et Francais Pour Vous

Après une petites vacances Brian returns to The Nightly and, in a regrettable moment, stoops to select from the Lower Tier Of Taste for his homecoming cravat. How painful it is to describe its almost reflective violet red and silver retro-mod checkerboard pattern that seemed to clot and merge at the edges. As the camera zoomed in for a closeup, I wasn't sure if I was looking at a fabric swatch for furniture on the Star Trek Nail Salon or the padded headboard in Austin Powers' new tricked-out van.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!!

Regrettably, Brian Williams has entered not only another Repeat Cycle Of Gargantuan Proportion, but has ATTACK OF THE SOLID PURPLE TIE!!!!!!!!also begun yet another Run Of The Purples as he has slung on the dreaded solid purple tie. Yes, he did just wear a solid purple tie on 6 October, ATTACK OF THE SOLID PURPLE TIE!!!!!!!!!!! and yes, he did just wear it right before that on 2 October and again on 28 September. ATTACK OF THE SOLID PURPLE TIE!!!!!!!!!! It would seem that there is nothing we can do.

Recovery, Or We Pick Ourselves Up, Dust Ourselves Off, And Start All Over Again With A Much Nicer Cravat

Debut Tie. Quickly rebounding from an early Fashion Falter this month, Brian dons a very stylish cravat of whispery pale blue with petite dark circlets. The knot is perfect, as is its dimple. This tie is the frosty snap in the air after the first snow, the cool freshness of wintergreen, and the glint of the silvery sliver of the moon behind heavy night clouds.

Je Suis Fatiguee, And This Tie Is Not Helping

The Report apologizes for the tardiness of this latest report as we attempt to recover from not only an attack of exhaustion but also la cravate ce soir. Certainly we have become...mercurial regarding this wide-striped tie of butter yellow and deep navy. But last night's lighting rendered it tres ...bumblebee-esque, and the accompanying suitcoat and shirt were, shall we say, not the best accoutrements. Hopes dim for October.

In Which The Report Does Its Best Cher Impression (From "Moonstruck")

October is really starting to be Rerun Month. Just five ties ago, Brian tossed on this same purple tie, and I waxed poetic over it and its dimple. Now, I'm so over it. C'mon, Bri, what's the deal over there, anyway? Are you just feeling a little Fashion Fatigue? Are you Sartorially Sluggish? Perhaps a bit Stylistically Stale? Well...SNAP OUT OF IT!

Brian Brings Out The Kid In Me, And Not In A Good Way

Hate to be petulant, pet, but I'm downright sick of this cravat. You've slung it on four times now since 11 August, and that's just a bit much. I used to like looking at its midnight blue background and those slim pale pink stripes, but now? I feel like I did when the neighbor lady kept showing up each time my dad slapped sirloins on the grill. She would pull a pouty little face and start whimpering about her kids and her lousy ex-husband and her food stamps. Next thing you know, my steak got smaller. Funny, her kids still wore great-looking shoes and clothes and stopped the popsicle guy every time he came down the street. Put the tie away, Brian, and let me have my steak.

A Tasteful Experience

A bit soon for another Solid Purple, dear heart, but we will forgive. Our discerning eye notes la différence between this cravat and Tuesday's. Tonight we see a handwoven basket heaped with rich plums, redolent with juice. We take one, buff its thin skin gently upon our jacket and take a bite. With one snap, the musky sweetness explodes upon our tastebuds and the nectar, like the stored sunshine now harvested, bursts forth. Donc délicieux.

A Dignified Tie

* Tonight's cravat is a lovely stripe of smoky lilac and eggplant. It has an air of somber gravitas to it, a dignified and sedate mien, like a solitary elderly woman coming down the church steps on a rainy day. She wears a dark violet hat with a half-veil, and in her hand she carries one pale lavender rose. She opens the iron gate of the adjoining cemetery and walks inside, unhurried despite the steady, soft shower. Carefully, almost ceremoniously, she pulls the gate shut behind her. She makes her way determinedly to a neat plot with a plain headstone of smooth granite. She pats the stone meditatively, places the rose carefully upon the grassy blanket beneath, gives a small wave, and turns to go.

Anchors Aweigh! (I'd Like To Heave Ho This Cravat...!)

Brian ends the month with a nod to the Clearance Table O' Ties by knotting up the cornflower blue with the trio of narrow white stripes at wide intervals. While the knot was impeccable, the fabric looked chintzy and stiff, like some cheap stuff draped and stapled into huge swags and swathes in a department store window highlighting its nautical-themed patio furniture and outdoor livingware, such as plastic dishes and cups with little boats and smiling seahorses and anchors festooning them.

No, Dear, You May Not Have One Of Those. It's Bad For You. Come Along Now And Mummy Will Get You Something Much, Much Better.

There is purple, and then there is purple, and tonight's tie was an unfortunate rendering of that color. A shade such as this--what to call it? Artificial Orchid? Ersatz Iris? Sigh. Oh, and then do add some narrow neon-esque white stripes so that the entire effect is akin to one of those garish hyper-iced sugar cookies one can buy that is actually affixed to a stick. Good heavens. I feel a bit...offended.

Plain Purple Tie? I Think Not.

Back from a bit of a Long Weekend, Brian begins his Work Week with a solid silk cravat in a deep, rich jewel-toned violet with a warm red undertone. Its knot is a narrow funneled four-in-hand, and the dimple is satisfyingly cleft long and low. At first glance, one could be coolly dismissive of this tie, waving it off as merely "a purple tie." But with its luxuriously saturated color, I think it deserves to be reconsidered. Think instead of the opalescent plumage on the throat of some Amazonian rainforest bird, or the veil cast off by an exotic Arabian dancer in the tent of a hospitable desert sultan, or even the shimmering depths of a vintage poured by a mysterious Chilean hotelero on a warm, breezy terrace.

I'm Sorry, But I Cannot Seem To Understand This Tie, What With All The Shouting

Live from Pittsburgh, site of the G20 Summit, Brian Williams tried to report over the chaotic rantings of a lone protestor with a megaphone who momentarily tapped into the frequency of the NBC mikes. How fitting that BriWi was wearing his muddly tie of milky purple with the crayon blue stripes which seem to blur and run at the side. It was just as confusing and irritating as trying to listen to the newscast.

Where's The Reset Button? Looks Like Everyone Needs A Bit Of An Adjustment

Is it just me, or is Brian giving this tie, the midnight blue with narrow blush stripes, a heavy workout lately? I mean, he just wore it less than two weeks ago. And what was the deal with the poor lighting on the set of The Nightly this evening? It was well into the broadcast before I could even ascertain that this was the tie of the evening, yet he was in a tight closeup for most of the early part of the broadcast. I guess there's just no pleasing me this evening. Let's meet back here tomorrow and try it all again.

A Cravat Haiku

Perhaps it is just
Seasonal ennui, but this
Purple tie bores me.

It's Raining, It's Pouring, The Stripes Are Getting Boring

So many striped ties, Brian Williams! This evening's offering is of peacock blue and putty, and it is one that has been a staple of the BW Wardrobe. Like the warming September sky with the last few scuds of an early afternoon shower stubbornly lingering, the muted contrasting hues blend in a pleasant palette.

Dinner Is Served, So Unfold Your Napkin

*Tonight, Brian Williams knots up a longtime favourite of The Report, the ruby jacquard cravat sprinkled with ash coloured circlets limned with ebony. It evokes a good old Chicago steakhouse specializing in thick-cut marbled Porterhouses served rare under a heavy char. Sauteed onions drape the beef, steaming fragrantly, and a baked potato sits snugly next to it, dripping with butter and lazily melting sour cream.

A Touch Of Class

Basic black with a narrow satin band of antique ivory is Brian Williams' choice pour la cravate ce soir. With its understated elegance, it is a traditional engraved wedding invitation, the guest's menu at an Old New York dinner party, and a gentleman's card presented on a silver tray to a lady during afternoon calling hours.

Sometimes It's Better To Leave The Past In The Past

Due to parent-teacher conferences, please enjoy this Classic Cravat Critique from 26 May 2009 when Brian Williams debuted this tie.

Certainly one could not miss this evening's cravat. Baby blue crossed by narrow pearl stripes bordered in navy, this tie consumed every shot it was in with its massive blueness. That pastel blue...it was like a bad seventies prom tux, or (horrors!) a leisure suit worn with a pair of white patent loafers and a big, wide white belt. I wonder if Bri went on a little jaunt to Boca and walked around some flea markets or went to a few "tag sales." Because this tie...oy.

A Look Back In Time For You And The Report

Due to parent-teacher conferences, please enjoy this Classic Cravat Critique from 17 September 2007 when Brian Williams debuted this tie.

Brian stuns the Nightly viewers with a polka-dot cravate ce soir. This interesting tie reminds me of the brief period my sons went through in their early childhoods when they used to take Bic pens and randomly color on their bluejeans. Luckily, because they were growing exponentially overnight, I bought the boys cheapo no-name jeans at stores like JC Penney and KMart. Brian's tie has the color and even the look of those indeterminately "prewashed" looking jeans, but is more symmetrically dotted with inky blue spots the size of pencil eraser tops. Worn with his navy, subtly pinstriped suit and a crisp white shirt, this was a successful look for Brian. (More urbane than Sam and Jared in their graffiti-esque pants and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle teeshirts, anyway.)

In The Good Old Summertime

This evening, Brian slips on a retro-looking stripe of silver and cherry syrup red. Nostalgia beckons me back to my grandparents' cabin on a reservoir where we used to spend summer weekends when I was young. We'd change into our swimsuits, grab towels, and skip down the hill to the water, diving from the pier into the still coolness. When we finally emerged hours later, we climbed back up the slope to a waiting aluminum pitcher, frosty from the fridge and rattling full of ice cubes. From its welcome depths my mother would pour black cherry Kool Aid into colorful metal tumblers that would get so cold our hands would numb and burn.

So There!

* The Report doesn't have a lot to say. It was a dusky lavender solid tie. Moreover, it seemed rather wrinkly. If that is the best he can do, then this is the best we can do.

Color Me Inspired By This Cravat

This evening Mr. Williams dons his dark navy tie with the slender, whisper-of-lilac stripes. What a dramatic and pretty contrast! This tie reminds me of reading the descriptions of all of those fancy bodices and laces in Gone with the Wind or the Little House on the Prairie books when Laura Ingalls Wilder would go into detail about sprigged calico or bombazine or grosgrain ribbons woven into headbands. I'd imagine them in my head and then, in my coloring books, try to replicate the color combinations in their pages. Thank heavens for Crayola Crayons in the 64 box.

*As a side note, The Report must make regretful mention of Robert Bazell's very...unfortunate tie. Awful.

On My Honor, I Have Done My Best To Bring You Tonight's Tie

Perhaps Brian is feeling a bit nostalgic tonight as he knots up his deep blue tie with the narrow banana-peel yellow stripes. Oh, not because it has been a long while since he last donned this cravat. No, more because this little necktie simply hollers Boy Scout Uniform due to its color palette. As soon as I see it, I picture a shorter, more rosy-cheeked Brian Williams, standing at attention, yellow neckerchief jauntily knotted, blue shirt tucked with precision into his blue knee britches. The part in his shiny brown hair is impeccable, and he recites The Promise with absolute conviction. Maybe he can answer my burning question once and for all: Just what IS a "webelo" anyway?

Brian Returns And Stokes The Flames Of Fashion

Why, Brian! How kind of you to favour us with an appearance from behind the Nightly's news desk, what with Lester and/or Ann certainly available and possibly doing nothing of any importance. But, I digress. I neglect to mention your cravat of muted tangerine and heathered grey stripes. Possibly it was worn as a subtle homage to the brave firefighters still in the field in California, battling the flames and smoke of the wildfires. In any case, welcome back.

Oscar Wilde Said It Best. (What? You May Ask. Scroll Down To My Footer Quote!)

Resplendent in brilliant shocking pink with a pattern of ivory dots, Brian favours his viewers with two glorious cravats in a row. Tonight's tie has the pretty sophistication of a Faberge egg bejewelled in pearls. It is at once a work of art and a luxury, and those of us who can only look may do nothing more than just admire it from afar.

Back From Big Shirt Country, Brian Indulges In A Rather Sumptuous Cravat

* Back in the newsroom, Brian Williams knots up a lovely tie of vivid raspberry with a difficult-to-discern pattern. Is it peacock blue? Pewter? Are they petite fleur-de-lis? Crosses? Le sigh. It is but a small matter in considering such an attractive cravat as this. The fabric has a tasteful sheen, the tie a lovely knot, and there is no need for a dimple. I imagine myself sinking into a heap of cushions made of this tie's fabric, snuggling down into them with a sinfully good novel, a small box of very good chocolates clandestinely obtained on a surreptitious shopping trip, and a large glass of gorgeous red wine.

Oh, Brian. Pourquoi Si Grande?

On location in California, Bri is sans cravate ce soir. He is, however, very much still avec la tres grande chemise, an unfortunate fashion proclivity from which he cannot seem to break free.

Brian's Tie Is The Cat's Pajamas

Announcing the end of summer with a fashion statement, Brian Williams knots up a strong stripe of cool pale pink and black. Its wide diagonals are bold and unabashedly stylish. This cravat is the slit of Gypsy Rose Lee's off-the-shoulder gown; it's the opera-length glove on a Jazz Age diva as she raises her cigarette holder for a light; and below this undercurrent of sexy mystery, the Art Deco sensibility and structure of the undulating peak of New York's Chrysler Building.

Ebb Tide--In Memoriam

Brian reports live from Hyannis Port tonight. He wears a tie of pale Prussia blue with staggered polka dots of a darker shade. As the shot pulls wide behind him, a lone sailboat rocks gently and rhythmically on the chop. The water is grey-blue and melancholy, and here and there, dark spots of the waves bow farewell towards the shore.

Travelogue Tie

A solid silk cravat is the choice of Brian Williams ce soir, and its frosted pale violet hue sets off his summery complexion most attractively. The effect is one of stepping from the hot, crowded streets of a tourist town into one of its more upscale shops. A cool airconditioned breeze greets the curious shopper--perhaps also a hint of lavender and sandalwood. A slender curator behind a lacquered cypress counter looks up, smiles gently, and continues marking prices on some carved boxes. As the venturer continues to explore the shop's wares, it is as if time has slowed, expanded, and eventually, stilled.

It's Like Calling A Hot Dog A Tube Steak; Just Who Are We Kidding?

Brian returns from his Summer Hiatus this evening and also returns to the bittersweet and chalk stripe tie of 13 July. Oh, how I find myself conflicted by this cravat! I am drawn to its rich colouration, like a warm harvest pumpkin soup with a swirl of thick sour cream spiked with cardamom. But when the Nightly's cameraperson pulls back for the wide shot, and I see not just the impeccable dimple and knot, but how the orange muddies up Brian's tanned complexion, all I can think of is Orange Creme Savers hard candy. Certainly, both comestibles have their place, but they are hardly...interchangeable.

I Have No Idea And Beg Your Indulgence. Don't Call My Mother,Please.

There were two double dirty vodka martinis on the deck tonight. Which constituted my entire intake of sustenance today. Briefly, I went inside to view The Nightly. I vaguely remember perhaps ruby striped with black bordered by white. Maybe...not. I'm sorry. I start back to school on Friday. I...huh? Can someone Guest Report? Whatever.

The Way They Were

Deep navy tonight is narrowly striped with apple blossom pink. A young cadet in his dress blues stands proud and tall, his date for the academy formal at his side. She wears a frothy confection of blush satin and tulle, and on her wrist a demure corsage of rosebuds and baby's breath makes a fragrant bouquet. The photographer focuses the lens, the couple smile, and a memory is made to last a lifetime.

The Report Becomes Very Ernestly Literary About This Tie

This tie, a stripe of sandstone and Wedgwood blue, is an old standby of Brian Williams', though it has been long away. Tonight, impeccably knotted and dimpled, it exemplifies the adage Absence makes the heart grow fonder, for when it was in heavy rotation, I railed against this tie, yet now I find it far more amenable. I see a weathered face like Hemingway's Santiago, who was "gray and wrinkled, with deep furrows in the back of his neck. Everything about him was old, except his eyes....they were the same color as the sea." He stands on the sand near his skiff, readying the lines for another day's catch, shading his visage to look out to the wide, sunlit ocean lying open before him.

Oooh La La! Brian Is In The Pink, And We Are In Heaven (And There's An Eiffel Tower There, Apparently!)

The Report is all smiles and sighs de contentement ce soir. C'est la cravate rose! The Fashion Drought is over, slaked by the vibrant pink tie with ivory petit point pattern. This is just a chic cravat, a tie that makes one think of lovely, pleasant things such as Paris' patisseries, and les macarons, and (naturellement) une gateau rose. Bon appetit!

Happy (?) Days Are Here Again...The Purple Ties Are Back Again

*Brian finally shakes off The Blues and tonight knots up one of the original Twin Ties. This is the field of boysenberry striped by deep navy bordered narrowly by white. When does BW decide he's had Enough Blue? Are we now in for a Parade O' Purples? Like the regimented eaters who dine by consuming each food item on their plates until it is finished (first their vegetable, then their potato, then the meat or fish), perhaps Brian is performing some sort of deeply rooted Late Summer Fashion Ritual that only he understands.

A Sensory Panoply In Purple

Debut Tie. We have seen this striped cravat's incarnation in other colors, but not in tonight's offering of pewter and lavender. It is lovely. It is the antique amethyst brooch at the throat of an aged lady of the manor; the smudge of the skyline as the sun sets under the palette of light-tinged clouds; the murmuring hush of the audience as the velvet curtains whisper back under dimming house lights; and the scent of long laid-away lace gowns in tissue paper and lavender.

I'll Give You Three (Blue) Guesses...And The First (Blue) Two (Blue) Don't Count

Thank goodness we at The Report are sitting down when The Nightly is broadcast; what a shame it would be if we fainted dead away on the hard, cold floor when Brian Williams appears on our television screen wearing... a blue tie. Again. At least this particular cravate bleu has not been around since 20 February, when we last took stock of its frosty chambray blue background and Prussian blue polka dots. (That's already four uses of the b-word in this Report, for those of you scoring at home.) Sacre bleu! Cela est beaucoup de bleu!

In Which I Muse On The Picasso-Esque Ways Of BW And Their Impact On My Own Personal Healthcare Crisis

Blue, blue, blue. And on it goes into August, this Blue Period of Brian's, and I begin to feel it as well, especially about this particular cravat. What is it about this tie that sets me on edge so? Is it the slightly bridesmaidy shade of sky blue in the background, or the blare of the white stripes bordered by severe navy, giving it an almost graphic arts sort of appearance, like someone carefully drew it on his shirtfront with a Sharpie in each shot? How can such an innocuous--nay, almost amiable--tie evoke such dissatisfaction in me? I don't know, and I doubt my health plan covers the necessary therapeutic sessions required to get to the bottom of it.

You Can Have #NT-33456 In Blu/Blu Or Gry/Gry Or Brn/Brn

It's another navy blue tie for BriWi tonight, but this one has a narrow stripe of sky blue. Yet, it's not a particularly adventurous or arresting tie, now is it? The whole effect was rather catalog layout-esque, all those complimentary shades of blue. I half expected to see another newsman, perhaps Robert Bazell or maybe even dear Chuck Todd in a brown or grey version of Brian's ensemble, standing in one of those impossibly phony poses, smiling toward the camera, very still and scary.

A Study In Style Somnambulism, This Silk Solid Is So Soporific

Tonight, Brian knots up a...ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz....What? Hello? Oh. I'm sorry. I nodded off there for a minute. As I was saying, Brian Williams is conserva.......ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz. WHAT?! Oh for heaven's sake. Solid navy blue raw silk cravaZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

It's A Very Administrative, Authoritative Sort of Tie

"Good morning parents and students, and welcome to our open house here at Saint Fagin's School for Difficult Boys. As you can see, all our staff here, including myself, are wearing the required uniform, right down to the Regulation Necktie which is navy blue crossed at rather wide intervals with twin narrow stripes of antique white. One of these ties will be in your Welcome Kits should you decide to enroll here and become one of the Saint Fagin Family. Remember our motto: There are no bad boys, only longer paths to harmonious living!"

Sometimes Making A Fashion Statement Requires Nothing More Than A Whisper

It has been a long time since Brian Williams knotted up this particular cravat. The field color is icy hyacinth blue, and petite white windowpanes the size of perhaps a lady's fingertip line up here and there upon it. The tint of the blue--and its frostiness--softens the geometry of the pattern and the overall effect is one of grace and gentility. It's like when you were "working on a project" in the library with a group of your friends and you all got a little too rowdy: the really pretty librarian with the great clothes and the perfect makeup looked over at you, put her French manicured finger to her lips, and just barely shook her head while smiling ever-so-slightly.

If You're Alone In The Fashion Forest, And You Can Only Have One Tie...

Tonight Brian knots up a cravat of violet blue with a tiny white petit point in regimental rows, closely arrayed. This tie is the Swiss army knife of BW's wardrobe. It can cross all seasons, really, with its serviceable print, and its color is likewise suitable from summer through winter. Pair it with a nice heather grey wool jacket and creamy shirt and the look is perfect for chilly reports on wicked Nor'easters. For a segment on midsummer forest fires in the western US, how about a navy suitcoat with a subtle pinstripe and a crisp white shirt? This tie is, by itself, A Fashion Arsenal.

Alert The Villagers--It's The Frankentie

"Igor, bring me the specimen. No, not that one--the thistle-colored one with the narrowish ultramarine blue stripes there, pulsating and glowing with some sort of primal, eerie lifeforce of its own. See how its stripes seem, though, to blur and become indistinct on the left there? As if it is slowly leaving this Earthly plane, its extraterrestrial lifeforce unable to acclimate to our atmosphere? Yet...it somehow retains its vibrance and vitality. It's alive, Igor! IT'S ALIVE!"

It Will Be The Report's Pleasure To Serve You This Evening's Special, Another Solid Cravat

The onslaught of solids continues as Brian slips on another plain silk cravat. This one, the lavender, was in heavy rotation during Spring 2007 (and dubbed "The Debate Tie" because we saw it during the MSNBC Presidential Debates and then thrice more in quick succession). This summer it appears refreshing and cool, (impeccably double-dimpled), and sophisticated. It is a palate cleanser of boysenberry and crème fraîche granita served on a small chilled plate at an elegant bistro. Two impossibly tiny silver-spooned bites later, and it is but a light memory before the waiter bows and presents your dinner.

The Report Gets Solidly Behind This Cravat

* Brian knots up yet another solid cravat, but this one is plainly different. Its quality places it in the Purple Pantheon of Tasteful Ties. The fabric is whispery silk, and the color is a frosty orchid, as if the florist mistakenly bumped into the thermostat control and somehow caused a light snow to flurry within the cooler, the flakes settling gently upon the fragile blooms.

In Which The Report Must Testify As To The Very Basic Nature Of Tonight's Cravat

"Officer, believe me, I understand your frustration when you tell me that I'm not giving you much to go on. It's just that, well, there's not much I can tell you. It was a navy blue tie. Just a navy blue tie. That's it. No, there was no pattern. No, there was no other color. NO, THERE WAS NOTHING DISTINCTIVE ABOUT IT IN ANY WAY. IT. WAS. A. NAVY. BLUE. TIE. PERIOD! Now, please. Go out there and do your job and get it off the street!"

You Know How Some Hollywood Restaurants Have Sandwiches Named After Famous People?

There is nothing wrong with this cravat, the silver and crimson stripe with a Vintage Flair. It is debonair and dashing; its panache is balanced by the right amount of gravitas. It is...the George Clooney of ties.

Why Is Junior High So Difficult For Everyone?

It's such a Typical BriTie this evening: Crayola violet slashed with twin narrow stripes of vivid white, widely spaced, lovely centered dimple, and the classic funnel knot perfectly placed. But it's a rather pedestrian tie. It makes me think of junior high school extra-curricular uniforms, like for the band or for the cheerleaders. The kind of uniforms that different kids wear each year for years and years at a time and don't even have names on them anywhere so that anyone can wear them and all look the same. A little (unintentionally, but nonetheless) sad.

Once Upon A Time, An Anchor Named Brian Williams...

Debut Tie. Brian has made this L'Eté d'Orange, and this stripe of bittersweet and putty is his latest foray into that color. But like Hansel and Gretel, whose breadcrumbs were nibbled away by errant forest denizens, I felt lost and confused by this tie. I was happy and confident at first--seduced by the rich depth of the dark orange--but was soon befuddled and disoriented by the odd, muddied hue of the contrasting stripe. Was it greyish? Bluish? Chalky? Certainly the cut and knot were perfect in every way--I could just eat them up...but...it did wicked things to Brian's lovely brown complexion. So I resolved to wait until tomorrow's tie and live happily ever after.

Oh, Brian! You Know Me Too Well

Every once in a while, Brian likes to toss on this cravat just to see if I'm still indulgent enough to give it a Fashion Pass. And darn it, I am. I can't help it; I'm a pushover for its warm cinnamon-red field color with its rich intarsia fabric and its demure ash polka dots ever-so delicately rimmed with ebony. I know he wears it too often and that it's not very exciting and that it's really more of a Fall/Winter Tie, but what am I going to do? It's like saying I'll stop buying black shoes.

He May Be A Smart Shopper, But He's No Entomologist--Not In This Cravat

Brian's shopping savvy is evident tonight as we see the lilac version of 26 June's Bold Pink Tie. "If you love it, buy one in another color!" is an age-old Smart Shopper Admonition that many of us follow as we comb the racks looking for tasteful fashion. But this cravat holds not the same...cache as its blushing brother. True, it has the same fabric quality, the same petit point print primly scattered in ivory upon it, but it's just not as...oh, je ne sais quoi. Whereas the Pink Tie is bold and daring and Makes A Statement, this tie is just another Purplish Tie, you know? Like the difference between a butterfly and a moth.

This Tie Is No Thriller, But It's Not Too Terribly Bad

Il est une cravate d'ennui ce soir. Le sigh. Le yawn. I feel like B-dub could have jazzed things up a little, sort of as a salute to The King Of Pop. That way, he could have looked at the man in the mirror and seen a little of the dancing machine within himself! Instead, we got the deep sea blue with the wide-spaced twin white pinstripes. Could he have been any more...Andy Williams?

Pardon Me, Monsieur, But If I May Say So, Your Tie Is Impeccably Tasteful

Oh, sure, it's The Same Old Same Old for Mr. Williams tonight: the pallid gold and sailor navy stripe. But this cravat is a Hallmark Tie of sorts. It always looks sartorially splendid, and its knot is worthy of a Keatsian ode, with its form, tightness, and perfectly placed stripe. This necktie is like a faultlessly worded toast to the bride and groom, a tasteful present to a difficult in-law, the most tactful suggestion to an embarrassing guest.

June Ends On A Breezy, Albeit Purply, Note; It's Been A Pretty Good Month, Cravatically Speaking

Brian closes out the month with a Purple and a Stripe, and one we've not seen in quite some time. It's a frivolous little cravat of teletubbie violet with a narrow white stripe at wide intervals. It's sort of carefree and whimsical, like ordering only a chocolate dessert and a glass of San Giovese when out for dinner, or buying impossibly impractical pomegranate colored-suede stilettos before you have anything to wear with them, or even just deleting everything in your Inbox that doesn't look fun.

Be Careful as The Report Leads You Into Perhaps A Morning Transgression

It's stripes this evening for BW, and this one is like breakfast on a cruise ship. The heathery grey is boring old oatmeal or bran flakes--the stuff you know you have to eat to "be good" and "stay regular." But that sunset-colored stripe: it's the papaya, the guava, and that blood orange mimosa. What the hell; have two. You're on vacation!

The Report Is Tickled Pink With Brian's Gorgeous Tie

Brian Williams boldly goes where he had not yet gone before and strides manfully and confidently into Pink Territory! Not just an anaemic stripe or dot, but an all-over, assertive, no-doubt-about it PINK. Oh, yes, there was a sprinkly petit point in ivory, but let's face it: that was a pink tie. It was the plumage of a particularly arresting flamingo; it was a scoop of frosty sherbet a la framboise; it was a Hawaiian sunset on white sandy beaches; it was a Cosmopolitan with bit of sugar on its rim. Oh, it was a lovely tie!

In Which We Are Most Grateful For Small Fashion Favors

We are favored with one of Mr. Williams' Cheerio Ties, and it is the one which The Report finds the most pleasant of the lot. This particular CT, of custard background besprinkled with the circlets the color of tarnished bronze, looks light and summery without descending to the Sins of Seersucker and Straw Hats. Thank heavens it spares us that indignity. (That, and white loafers with the matching wide white belt. Ouch.)

Brian Continues His Look Back And The Report Tsks, But Just A Little Bit

* Brian Williams continues his Cravat Homecoming with this, a Favourite Purple of The Report. The rich, plummy field color is crossed with widely-staggered diagonals of black (could it, in fact be deepest navy?) bordered by pearl. The knot is controlled and precise, making the errant side dimple forgivable. The saturated colors render this tie almost a piece of jewelry, like an onyx signet ring or amethyst cufflink.

The Report, in an uncharacteristic and regretful sidenote, feels it simply must mention the unfortunate necktie of one Robert Bazell. He looked, quite frankly, as if a gutted fish were laid upon his shirtfront. Urk.

BW Brings Back The B&W

BW is really delving into the Ties of Newscasts Past lately; it's been ages since The Run of the Neck Zebras. This particular offering from that collection--the narrow stripes of black and white (it's visually impossible to tell if the black stripes are any wider than the white, or vice versa)--registers as neutral on The Report's Fashion Meter. Yes, if one stares at it for too long it goes all squiggly and op-arty, but it's sort of dashing and zippy and a little Goth, like Tim Burton or Beetlejuice. But maybe I'm just thinking too much about it, you know?

It's Not Out Of Date, It's Retro, And The Report Dates Itself With This One

Brian knots one up from the VS this evening, of generous silver and crimson stripes. The knot is tight and precise, and everything about this tie says Timeless Classic. It's Airstreams and steakhouses, highballs and Coca-Cola. It's two, two, two ties in one!


VS=Vintage Series

Is It Art? Or Is It Just Something Your Kid Could Do? BW's Tie Begs The Question

Just when we thought BW had retired this tie, it re-emerges from the Armoire of Infamy for a June appearance in all its shimmery, purply glory. Just what is that miniscule mulberry pattern, anyway? Houndstooth? Polkadots? No matter. Crowded upon that silvery, glinting background so closely, it just doesn't matter. This cravat reminds me of the time that my sons, wee ones at the time, figured out that they could disconnect their juice box straws and, with the grape juice still inside, blow the contents all over their paper plates, making Jackson Pollock-esque artwork.

Brian's Deceptively Simple Tie Is Anything But (Just Ask A TV SuperDad)

It is somber and serious tonight as Brian dons his solid, textured serge blue cravat. A Starter Tie from the Ward Cleaver Collection, we can almost hear it saying, "Well, son, I know you didn't mean to break Mr. Phillips' window, but you did, and now the right thing to do is to go over there and apologize. Then tomorrow, you and I will go down to the bank and see about taking some of your bicycle fund money to pay for the repair. It might take a while longer to get that new bike, but becoming a man--well, that's happening right now."

Brian Raises The Fashion Barre With This Soupçon Of Pink

This evening, Brian Williams dons a cravat of midnight blue with narrow stripes of a whispery pink, widely staggered. It is a sort of bashful Foray Into Pink for Brian, like a tiny ballerina at her first recital, shyly peeking out from the heavy, dark blue stage curtains to see if she can get one comforting glimpse of her mother anywhere in the sea of faces that meet her nervous gaze. But--a hiss from Madame, a flash of a pink tulle skirt, and the little dancer disappears behind the wings.

The Report Goes A Little Looney Toons And Cannot Fathom The Repetition Of This Tie

Hello, Boys and Girls! Today, Uncle Brian is going to teach you all about his job here at The Nightly, which can be a very, very serious place to work! But that doesn't mean he can't have a little fun, does it? No! In fact, take a look at the funny, silly tie that Uncle Brian is wearing behind the Big Scary News Desk tonight: see how bright and crazy it is? Doesn't that wild orangey-yellow with the dark crisscrossing remind you of something you see all the time on one of your shows? Let me see if I can give you a hint. It involves someone square...who's yellow...under the sea...? That's right, Boys and Girls! You guessed it!

It's Carrot Sticks And Slimfast For The Report If This One Goes Back Into The Rotation

This tie is so delectable, so delicious, so downright edible that I almost cannot bear to watch it. It is a confection of a cravat! Its background is raspberry chocolate truffle; its stripes are glossy marshmallow barely drizzled with that truffly chocolate ganache. We here at The Report will have to eat light tomorrow after gorging ourselves on Le Dessert de Cravate tonight.

A Disappointing Debut, Yet, A Bit Of Deja Vu

Debut Tie. Wow. Brian. How many of these Cheerio-patterned ties did you buy, anyway? This one--the frosty lilac with its white circlets arrayed in regimental precision--will not go down in L'Histoire de Vos Cravates as one of your best. Rather, that fabric is better suited to something my grandma, Ethel Marie, would have chosen to make for her Easter dress, one with a bit of a jacket since they tended to keep Trinity Lutheran pretty cold.

Brian Suits Up

It's a return to An Old Standby for BW this evening as the wan gold and deep navy blue striper makes a comeback. This tie is like watching the huddle of a Notre Dame football game. But, is that navy blue suit getting to be a bit of a uniform? I think so.

The Water Is Fine--Wish You Were Here

Brian knots up the weathered-cedar grey and sun-bleached coral striped cravat not worn since late April after it had seen heavy rotation in the spring. (Worth noting tonight is its impeccable double dimple.) This tie is a little seashore souvenir all in itself--a bit of coral, a bit of driftwood, and a sunset over the sand.

A Return To Mango Madness, And Just What Is With This Tie, Anyway? The Report Feels Like We've Been At A Burlesque Show (And Not A Good One)

Le gasp and quelle horreur. Have we seen this tie since its unfortunate debut on 14 June 2007? Dubbed the Screaming Mango Hooker Fantasy Tie for its fearsome resemblance to fishnet stockings and its positively obstreperous orange-yellow hue, I struggle mightily to think of anything I might see this fabric used for: a fun little bikini, perhaps, for a twenty-something beauty with a model's physique and a salon tan? a beach-themed patio tablecloth for a cookout? a shade for this? Le sigh. Je ne sais pas. Certainly, not for la cravate of the Most Trusted Voice In News.

A Most Egregious Repeat Cycle Of Shameless Proportion, And It's Just Not Funny (But It Is Most Certainly Blue)

Oh my. Just two ties ago, Brian wore this new cravat, the arrestingly blue striped number that he has now put into A Most Egregious Repeat Cycle Of Shameless Proportion. That simpering baby blue background, those white stripes bordered in startling navy--the effect is that of a cartoon tie Pixar-ed into each shot of Brian's live-action Nightly report, kind of Roger Rabbit-esque.

Summer In The City

Brian looks delicious in his striped cravat of French vanilla and dark chocolate this evening. I remember standing on tiptoe at Home Dairy, peering through the frosty glass at the tubs of ice cream, and selecting Fudge Marble for my cone. With a thrill of anticipation, I watched as the counterman expertly scooped up the treat and pressed it into my sugar cone, the ribbons of chocolate swirling throughout the velvety rich vanilla. Outside on the Dairy's front lawn, kids of all ages sat with dripping ice cream cones, making a summertime tableau.

Time For A Little Report Card

Quickly placed into the rotation is this bold new offering, the burnished bittersweet cravat with pale storm blue stripes, widely staggered and alternating with a pinstripe of the same hue. In the spirit of the season, we offer a

Report Card:
Dimples: A
Fashion Credibility: B+
Style Statement: A-
Williams Wearability: C

Assessment: This tie, although it takes a bold fashion risk and is impeccably tied, is not doing anything for its wearer. Above all else, fashion's Number One Job is to enhance the attractiveness of the person wearing it. This cravat, though of good quality and interesting color/pattern, isn't entirely suitable for Mr. Williams.

This Tie Looks A Bit Too "Budget" To Be Successfully "Vintage", But Boy, Is It BLUE

Certainly one could not miss this evening's cravat. Baby blue crossed by narrow pearl stripes bordered in navy, this tie consumed every shot it was in with its massive blueness. That pastel blue...it was like a bad seventies prom tux, or (horrors!) a leisure suit worn with a pair of white patent loafers and a big, wide white belt. I wonder if Bri went on a little jaunt to Boca and walked around some flea markets or went to a few "tag sales." Because this tie...oy.

La Cravate Du Ce Soir Est Une Chanson De Printemps

Brian's tie tonight is a soft zephyr of spring. Stripes of pale yellow and soft grey gently harmonize, like the trill of songbirds ushering in the twilight. This cravat is reminiscent of the American Goldfinch female, whose melody is as rich and true as that of her more ostentatious partner, but whose plumage is more demure.

Brian Is A LeBron James Fan, But We Are Keeping It On The Downlow

This somewhat anachronistic tie is seeing heavy rotation this spring, having just had outings on 12 May and 1 May. Might be time for Brian to stow it lovingly away until perhaps October, when its burgundy background scattered with medallions of nondescript neutral rimmed in black will seem more seasonal. Yet...maybe BW is surreptitiously rooting on The Report's home team in the NBA playoffs! Yes! That must be it! GO CAVS!

A Night--And A Cravat--To Remember

The Report begs your indulgence as things become busy near the end of the school year. Please enjoy this Classic Cravat Critique from 25 February:

Narrow icy pink stripes with a nuance of lilac cross a midnight blue field in tonight's dramatic and lovely cravat. I think of an elegant soiree, with tuxedoed men twirling gowned women wearing satin and silk. A few couples, heady with champagne and romance, sashay out onto the terrace to gaze at the stars in the night sky while enjoying the scent of gorgeous pink climbing roses on the balcony rail.

A "Warning": The Report And Brian Are Feeling A Bit Of Their Oats Perhaps

Debut Tie.
When I am an older man I shall wear orange
With an icy hyacinth blue stripe that doesn't suit me.
And I shall wear this cravat of roasted carrots proudly
On television, even while forecasting the gloom and doom
Of the American Economy, and revel in its double dimples.
I shall bask in its bold and daring
And slyly wonder at The Report's reaction:
Will she skewer me for its garish audacity or
Reward me for its daring fashion risk and see that
I've tossed my Ivy League Conservativism to the
Winds Of Turning Fifty?

*a nod to Ms. Jenny Joseph

The Report Hopes You've Got A Current Passport To Follow Its Favourite Tie

The distinguished traveller stepped into the quiet, dim pub, blinking a bit after walking a while in the bright Dublin sunshine. Well-dressed, but with a twinkle in his blue eyes that had to be a wee bit o' The Irish, he exchanged pleasantries with the barman, loosened his striped tie, and had a few pulls on a pint that had quite a bit in common with said cravat.