No, Dear, You May Not Have One Of Those. It's Bad For You. Come Along Now And Mummy Will Get You Something Much, Much Better.

There is purple, and then there is purple, and tonight's tie was an unfortunate rendering of that color. A shade such as this--what to call it? Artificial Orchid? Ersatz Iris? Sigh. Oh, and then do add some narrow neon-esque white stripes so that the entire effect is akin to one of those garish hyper-iced sugar cookies one can buy that is actually affixed to a stick. Good heavens. I feel a bit...offended.