A Lamentation

...And just as quickly as our hopes were raised, they are dashed by the appearance of The Gaudy Wide-Striped Tie. This tie...why, Brian Williams, why? Why another yellow and blue striped tie? Why are the stripes wide enough to be seen, like The Great Wall of China, from space? Why does it remind me so eerily of those flags that hang from sailboats? Why does the knot of it look as if it is, in fact, a clip-on tie!? And why did you choose to wear it on a Most Important Night when you knew I would have to see it for hours and hours and hours as I waited, breathlessly tracking the final two Democratic National Primaries? Why do you punish me so, Brian Williams?