Ring For Service To Clear, Will You?

Heeding our cries for Relief, Brian knots up another, yes, striped tie, but this one is of bright flame bands crossing the usual navy field.  And although the stripes were pleasantly alluring, I could not enjoy them.  Instead, my vision kept tracking--dreadfully--to the travesty that was the horrifying Side Dimple placed so far to the right so as to render it a...sort of Salt Cellar or Butter Dish to the Dinner Plate that was the Main Dish Cravat.  It was enough to make me lose my Fashion Appetite.