Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Know I Enjoy A Martini Every Now And Then, But Now I'm Seeing Double When I'm Sober

* Debut Tie. I'm reporting live from the CDC, Cravat Duplication Center, where tonight, authorities have made the decision to raise the Alert Level to "Severe" in the wake of Brian Williams' tie selection which is, yet again, a variation of one already in his cravat wardrobe. This evening's tie of whisper-pale lemon yellow surmounted by a pattern of elephant grey circles with pinhole centers is an echo of last Thursday's tie, albeit a far more pleasantly sedate version. Authorities here wish to state for the record that, while this is a rising concern, there is no need for Widespread Fashion Panic. Thus far, they have not seen this malady make the jump from this particular newsman to, say, Keith Olbermann or even Robert Bazell (whose snazzy grey ensemble left The Report feeling a bit wistful).