Because The News Is Nothing To Joke About

Tonight Brian knots up a very statesmanlike cravat from the Conservative Collection at The Nightly. Its deep suitcoat navy field is crossed with ruby stripes bordered with still narrower stripes of pearly white. It is a staid tie, a serious tie, a sort of harrumphing bit of neckwear fashion, much like a senior butler who would lift one eyebrow--very subtly yet meaningfully--at the Young Master who might reach for his water goblet before the Mister of the Manor had completed the toast.