Difficult Tie Puts The Report At A Disadvantage

Oh, this tie, Brian Williams. It’s such a...difficult tie. It’s royal blue, and it has a sort of teensy little checkery pattern laid over it that looks to be grey, but who can really tell? It’s so subtle and barely-there that it hardly warrants mentioning except that...well, it is there after all, and it’s not even attractive, nor does it look as if it’s actually woven into the fabric, more like it’s stamped on. What kind of a thing is this, Brian Williams? It’s kind of like when your weird Aunt Thelma brings an awful green Jell-O salad to the reunion, and it’s got all kinds of terrible things suspended inside it like small bits of celery and peaches and cheese cubes, but your mother has to put it out, or it would be rude.