Frankly, My Dear Readers, I Don't Give A Damn About This Tie

In a stunning appearance on the day after Thanksgiving, Brian Williams calms his viewers by wearing a rather nondescript cravat. This one, the violet blue with almost indiscernible pattern of checks? mini houndstooth? in ash, is like the railroad yard casualty scene in Gone with the Wind. "Oh, yes," you say, "I remember it being there." But can you recall any specifics about it?

Life Is Too Short For Bad Fashion, And Tonight's Ties Made Me Feel More Than A Bit Suicidal: Conspiracy?

Just when you think the news can't get any worse, what with North Korea antagonizing South Korea and the TSA copping feels with reckless abandon, Brian Williams slings on tonight's Tie Travesty, and thus begins a downward Shame Spiral of Tragic Ties worn by every male appearing on The Nightly this evening. From BW's horrific ultramarine blue raw silk with anorexic pink stripes to the guest with the sad brown houndstooth to Pete Williams' jarring Salute To Spring In Stripes cravat, I felt brutally assaulted by men's neckwear this evening. If tomorrow's opening bell at the NYSE heralds a huge drop, we will all know who is to blame.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

The Report is noticing an odd and dangerous trend. Brian Williams is stuck in a Cravat Fashion Loop. Yesterday he wore the same tie of 10 November, and tonight, 9 November's offering. If he knots up a solid lavender tomorrow with a telltale spot, someone at The Nightly had better do an Intervention.

I Don't Know Whether To Review This Tie Or Salute It

A familiar palette for Brian Williams tonight: gold and royal blue. The cravat is a shiny silk of rather wide stripes and gleams radiantly. It is almost victorious and jubilant, like a rippling flag of military colours waving on the field of battle, or a banner snapping briskly at the head of a brass band in a town parade.

Brian Brings Out An Old Standby, And I Am Smitten Once Again

Oh, I do love this tie. Yes, even though it is a Purple and a Stripe, I love it. The purple of its background is a rich, true purple; the stripes are boldly graphic--black bordered by white. It's smart and sexy, like walking into your Econ 501 class and seeing the prof is a dead ringer for George Clooney.

Evenglow

Brian does so love a striped tie, and this one has a familiar template. The background is a smoky navy blue, but the narrow stripes are a vivid tangerine bordered by slimmer bands of ivory. The effect is like a darkening fall sky, heavy with the chill of a winter cold front. The lowering clouds are deep, but as the sun begins to sink, it gilds the edges of the ominous brow a gleaming orange, and its rays cast a final glow across the landscape.

A Story In Textures

Tonight's cravat is dark blue with small claret intarsia-patterned tiles. In a quiet corner of the gallery, he sees her, lost among the woodcuts and textiles. She's wearing a rakish red beret, and he feels stodgy and out of place in his business suit. Her fingertips instinctively brush every piece, and his heart aches.

Even Though It Was A Lovely Shade Of Iris, And While I Am Sympathetic To A Worsening Cold, I Dare Not Lower My Standards

Solid Purple Tie. And was that a...stain?

If You've Always Wanted To Own One Of Bri's Ties Or Get His Autograph And Do Something Charitable, This Post Is For You!

The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives is pleased and proud to host this guest post today. We are honored to do our small part to promote a very worthy cause and use Our Power Of The Interwebs for Good. Please read the following post with interest and find out how you might own one of Brian Williams' very own Cravats, worn on The Nightly and autographed by Himself, as well as bask in the warm glow of satisfaction that comes from a kind and giving heart. Thank you.

NIGHTLY NEWS ANCHOR GIVES CLOTHES OFF HIS BACK (NECK) TO HONOR FORMER NBC COLLEAGUE JOAN SCARANGELLO OF "JOAN'S LEGACY"

In a gesture that illustrates his respect and care for his colleagues, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams is donating six of his ties--to be auctioned as one lot--to this November’s silent auction to benefit Joan’s Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer. The ties – all worn on air and signed on the back – will raise money for innovative lung cancer research in memory of Joan Scarangello, a Nightly writer who died of lung cancer in 2001 at 47 and a never-smoker.

Brian, along with Tom Brokaw, will co-chair the foundation’s benefit on November 17 at New York’s Gotham Hall. The party, called the “Strolling Supper with Blues & News” will also feature a performance by blues great Delbert McClinton, the awarding of 14 new lung cancer research grants, the announcement of the winner of the foundation’s journalism award (the “Joanie”) and a remarkable silent auction. Tickets for the benefit start at $300 and can be purchased at http://www.unitingagainstlungcancer.org/ and by calling 212-627-5500. Bids on Brian’s ties and all other silent auction items can also be made online or by phone up until November 17 at noon.

Joan’s Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer is the largest private funder of lung cancer research grants. The non-profit has given more than $7.5 million in individual $100,000 grants to more than 60 institutions in 22 states. In addition, the foundation has committed an addition $5 million to North America’s premier early detection research “dream team” project, Canary Lung.

Lung cancer kills more Americans than any other cancer – and more women every year than breast, uterine and ovarian cancers combined. Yet it receives less funding than any other major cancer because of the stigma of smoking. Today, 60 percent of all lung cancer patients never smoked or had already quit smoking before their diagnosis – and only 1 in 9 of them is likely to live five years or more from the day they find out.

Brian’s donation to Uniting Against Lung Cancer includes the cravat he wore on the October 8 broadcast of Nightly News from Los Angeles, reviewed by The Brian Williams Tie Report Archives as “A Misbegotten Choice from the Underbelly of Fashion.” He is choosing the others more carefully!

Brian’s ties are just one of the amazing silent auction lots. Others include:

· Having your name as a character in the next David Baldacchi best-seller
· Guitars autographed by Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Bon Jovi, Counting Crows and the Black Crowes
· Front row seats at any Times Square concert from “Good Morning America”
· In-Studio viewing of any NBC “Meet the Press” broadcast in the network’s Washington, DC closed set
· Set visits and cast meetings at “House” and “Two and A Half Men” and “Parenthood” in LA
· Tickets to the “Daily Show” “Colbert Report” “Saturday Night Live” and “The View”
· Fantastic seats for Jets, Giants, Yankees, Mets and Nets games
· Vacations (Napa, Italy, Palm Beach, Nantucket, New York)

...and much more

To see the full list of silent auction items, please visit http://www.unitingagainstlungcancer.org/events/SS2010

TO BID ON BRI'S TIES: call Uniting Against Lung Cancer at 212-627-5500

A Little Early For A Ghoulish Appearance By The Spectre Of An SPT, Don't You Think, Brian Williams?

Solid Purple Tie. The raw silk's nubbly texture is nice, but...you know.

I'd Much Rather Have The Martini, Actually

Oh, this tie! The colours are off-putting enough--vivid thistle with ultramarine blue stripes--but it has such an odd habit of furring and blurring at the left edge. It's like when I put my bifocal contacts in wrong--the left in my right eye, the right in my left--and the world is suddenly wonky. I can see pretty well, but things have a surreal quality, like I've had one too many martinis but no accompanying jollity, just the feeling of being a bit squinty and not-nice.

In Which I Become Lost In A Fictional Reverie

Reporting from Los Angeles, Brian Williams is sophisticated in his silk cravat of stormcloud crossed with burgundy diagonals snugged by a slim platinum pinstripe. The dashing young valet offers his arm to the guest. She is dressed, shockingly, in a ruby red gown for this sombre occasion. The short veil on her hat lends her some discretion, but it is clear that she is not mourning the loss of her fiance. Demurely, she smiles up at him, her even white teeth looking almost vulpine in the dim light of the funeral parlor. He is caught unaware, smiles self-consciously, and all is observed under the watchful eye of Lord Felton-Hayes nearby.

Nightscape

It's a stripe of ebony and orchid this evening from Brian Williams. As Night draws her coverlet ever closer over the city skyline, the last wisps of Twilight's purple glow disappear beneath its folds. The landscape blinks awake slowly, comes alive, and glimmers in the dark.

It's Retro Night At The Nightly Lounge

Tonight Brian knots up a classy silk of plum with a subtle black pattern of stripes that, at a distance, can double as a sort of nouveau tweed. It's very Rat Pack, very snazzy, kind of "microphone in one hand and highball in the other with a lot of piano riffs while I sip and nod knowingly during the bridge." Order me a sidecar, Bri, while I visit the little girls' room to powder my nose.

Winter On Erie

Stripes of slate and frigid white array themselves in marked contrast on this cravat. An icy wind whips the lake into a jagged chop. The waves batter the rocks, each time leaving behind a frosty welt. Sleet pelts the shore birds and the lone ore boat hunkers down for a long night.

Usually, I Applaud A Pink Cravat, But This One Is A Misbegotten Choice From The Underbelly Of Fashion

Brian bends to select from the Lower Tier Of Taste this evening. A background of raspberry sherbet showcases stripes of black? jet navy? intersected with white, and the result is...well, let's just say that I was imagining a scenario in which a small-town diva from Steersbelly, Arkansas, or maybe Bullnose, Tennessee, was wandering around WalMart, doting mother in tow, her homecoming gown frothing in her hand saying, "Well, his tie has to match my dress. IT. HAS. TO. So just keep looking for a tie this color. Period. I don't care what it has on it."

Child's Play

Brian dons a tie striped with fawn and sky blue this evening. Its pleasant tones are reminiscent of a child's sidewalk chalk picture, perhaps a blurry blue bunny or dusty azure cloud against the sandstone walkway, waiting until Caleb or Kaitlin returns from a lunch of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese and a juice box before the capering yellow ducky or smiling sunshine joins the fun.

I Know It Seems Like I'm Only Focusing On The Negative, But It's Been A Tough Month And These Are Easy To Report

Solid Purple Tie.

One Should Either Be A Work Of Art Or Wear A Work Of Art (Or At The Very Least, Pay Tribute To An Artist, Apparently)

If Mondrian had been married and helped his wife design the nursery for Little Piet, Brian's tie tonight would have been its wallpaper. Whispery hyacinth blue formed the background for small white minimalist squares, each with darkened centers. The geometry of the cravat is subtle, yet there, and even a baby Neo-Plasticist can still feel comforted by truly groundbreaking Art.

...Yet I Cannot Relent

SPT. True, it was rich and plummy and less egregious than some, but There It Was.