Economic Prognosticator Cravat

Brian Williams has finally worn this tie enough to make me stop hating it. I have come to begrudgingly appreciate these wide stripes of sweet corn yellow and suitcoat navy as a smart and snappy salute to America's diverse agricultural as well as Wall Street economy. Again, BW is wearing a Message Tie: he is telling us that with Barack Obama as Our President our nation can again fulfill its promise as an economic powerhouse and become a self-sustaining, burgeoning force in the global marketplace!

Symbolic Democratic Cravat

In harmony with the Democratic National Convention, Brian dons a blue-themed tie, this one a soft silvery chambray field with inky polka-dots. Is this Bri's way of subtly contradicting the republicans' message that the Dems are "elitist" and "stuffy" by wearing a cravat from his Casual Collection? I'd like to think so. Welcome to The Fold, Brian Williams. It's about time.

Shadow Club Tie

Smoked indigo stripes alternate with ebony in this familiar cravat. It's a little dark and shadowy, like a corner table at a martini bar, where navy serge double-breasted suits lean in to listen to softly purring little black dresses while the soft sounds of forties swing music carouse in the background. Cigarette smoke drifts in hazy plumes, and ice cubes clink rhythmically, punctuating the occasional laugh.

It's/I'm Back

The Report is back, and so, apparently, is Brian Williams' old standby. TWSNLBRAINDTM makes its appearance in the NBC loft at the Democratic National Convention.

When Is A Report Not A Report?

While Brian is sans cravate, the Report will not...er...report. Additionally, there may be a necessary hiatus while I recover from rotator cuff surgery. If you would like to Guest Report, please email me by clicking the link provided in my "About Me" bio blurb at The Dept. of Nance.

Has Brian Williams Just Plain Given Up?

Où est votre cravate? Et encore vous have on le même chemise et sportcoat. Come on, Brian Williams! Even my kids can manage to pack a different outfit for each day. Sheesh!

Breathe

Allowing us all a brief respite, a cleansing breath, or a Sigh of Sartorial Relief, Brian is sans cravate ce soir. I, for one, am grateful for this time to reclaim my sanity.

How Soon The Axis Of Evil Threatens!

July 24, August 1, and now August 5. One of us has clearly Lost It. Unless I am in need of not just rotator cuff surgery, but also Lasik or Eyeball Replacement, Brian Williams has completely gone Around The Bend and Thrown Fashion Caution To The Winds with yet another wearing of this, The Gadgety Tie, member of the cravat Axis of Evil. Am I seeing things, or did he indeed knot up the cheery Mediterranean blue with...oh, never mind! You know this tie; he wears it all the time! I cannot describe it again! Grrrrrrrrrr.

A Welcome Respite From Ugly, Repetitive Ties

What's not to love about a tie in stripes of sandalwood and peacock blue? By itself, the blue would look a bit cheap and trashy, like those plastic eggs you get at Easter time to fill with jelly beans. But balanced by the lovely hue of sandalwood, that vaguely dawning-pink beige, it mellows and becomes less bourgeois. This tie is just downright pretty. And after what we've been subjected to lately, it's more than welcome, like a patch of sun after a cloudy morning.

Except It's NOT OVER...August Begins With A Sense Of Foreboding, A Designation, And A Declaration

Was there, perhaps, a fire at Chez Williams? Did the family pooch accidentally get locked in Brian's closet and, in its claustrophobic frenzy, rip apart all but a few of Bri's ties? Did The Nightly do a story on a charity that takes donations of business attire for men who are re-entering the world of work after years of homelessness or rehab and B.W. was moved to clear out his cravate armoire? Certainly one of these things had to have happened to cause Brian Williams to wear the Gadgety Tie yet again. We cannot seem to get away from this tie. He cannot stop wearing it and assaulting our vision with it, like a Sartorial Karate Chop.

Therefore, I am declaring this tie one part of the Axis of Evil, along with The Picnic Tie and of course, TWSNLBRAINDTM. These ties pose a grave and growing danger to the world at large by threatening the peaceful existence of fashionable good taste. I will continue to bash away at these ties and identify them as the threats they are. As someone once said, "The price of indifference would be catastrophic."

It's Over...It's Finally Over

What a fitting end to this horrific month. TWSNLBRAINDTM.

Nostalgia Has Its Price

Perhaps Brian was browsing Ebay and came upon a collection of Hee Haw memorabilia and, having fond memories of watching this show at Grandma and Grandpa Williams’ house when spending the night (can’t you just picture him, sitting on the couch in his footie jammies, wet hair slicked back after his tubby, having a snack like Cheez Doodles and root beer?), was overcome with nostalgia. He snagged the red and white faux gingham tie for only a dollar! Sure, the shipping was nine bucks, but it was worth it to be able to wear those memories! Maybe to you, Brian, but not to us.

My Blue Heaven--With Stripes

We are treated to a symphony of slate blue and creamy ivory stripes tonight as Brian Williams returns to sartorial sanity. And, what’s this? He even wears a pale blue shirt? I am in heaven!

In An Apoplectic, Incredulous Rage, A New Designation Is Born

. ?!&%#*&*_ ??!?!??! Was this or was this not the polka dot tie that he JUST WORE ON JULY 23? I am a firm believer in Packing Light, but how much weight/room does a TIE take? Unless someone tells me that it was not, in fact, the selfsame Polka-dotted tie, I am now declaring this tie part of The Axis Of Evil, and will never, EVER review it again.

The Wheels Are Off This Wreck, And July Is Careening Downhill--Is That Even Possible?

July is essentially a Fashion Trainwreck as far as The Report is concerned, for Brian is simply recycling the same tragic handful of ties with no concern whatsoever for my feelings nor those of the Fashion Community At Large. This time, he flings on the Dreaded Gadgety Tie, that odd little cornflower blue number scattered with skewed squares of white, each centered with teensy pinholes. Have we seen this countless times before? Have we pretty much OD'ed on this cravat? Yes and Yes. Does Himself seem to care? Sadly, No.

Live From Berlin, Where, Apparently, There Are No Men's Wearhouses

Brian is reporting live from Berlin, where he is not only tagging along after Pres-Elect Barack, but he is also wearing THE SAME POLKA-DOT TIE THAT HE WORE THE DAY HE LEFT. I could have simply left this report up, word for word, and changed the date. Heavy sigh. It is tres romantique to think that he, in his zeal as a journaliste extraordinaire, did not even change his clothes but merely hopped on an airplane, surrounded by staff and papers and, with laptop chronically open (but not to The Tie Report, obv.), flew to Germany, prepping for the newscast, Tim Russert-style, with nary a thought to his personal toilette. Well, Brian, even if that were the case, all I can say is "grande erreur!" One should never compromise one's personal grooming or style, not even for The Story.

In Which I Spiral Downwards To A Bitter End, Driven By Yet Another Unnecessary Repeat Cycle

Oh, Brian, Brian, Brian. Is July "Le Mois de Beaucoup Répète ?" I have already resigned myself to the fact that it is "Le Mois de N'importe Quoi Va", and to the fact that no one (including you) is minding the Tie Fashion Store around The Nightly, but...! Soon, I shall begin to hate all your ties. When this tie, the watercolour Prussian blue with inky blue polka dots, first appeared, I was enthusiastic. I hailed it as a fashion risk worth taking. Now, beleaguered by your callous disregard for the most basic norm of style, I want to rip it off your lovely and fitly tanned neck and fling it into traffic, watching it become sullied by a lurching meat delivery truck or a beer van careening around a corner.

I'm Not Flip-Flopping, I'm Nuancing My Position

I'm not as averse to this tie as I once was. Its generously wide stripes of navy and pale yellow still are a bit arresting at first, but now that I've viewed it so many times, I'm used to it and can appreciate it as a bit fashion-forward and voluptuous. Still, it is in The Safe Palette, and is Tedious. But it's Different, and since July is pretty much a Crapshoot now, I'm feeling a sense of Nihilistic Defeatism. (With, obviously, a side of Emily Dickinsonian Capitalizationism.)

Special Tie Report: Ortizzle Sits In For The Vacationing Nance

*****************SPECIAL FEATURE TO THE REPORT******************

The Tie Report, being Away On Vacation, is pleased to have a Guest Reporter. This Report is provided by Ortizzle, who even got all techy on us and is providing us with a picture!

ORTIZZLE: Uh, Bri... you're having another case of dysfunctional stripes.

B.W.: Again? I thought you liked purple.

ORTIZZLE: Well, clearly you do. And it's musty lavender, not purple. But that's not the problem. The problem is the fireflies that are crash-landing in the lilacs.

B.W.: Oh. You mean those nice peaches-n-cream stripes, edged in the finest lines of crimson?

ORTIZZLE: Those are the very ones.

B.W.: I thought the overall effect was exquisite, rather like a rare species of butterfly.

ORTIZZLE: Better let this one flutter by. It will never get you invited to tea at the Lepidoptera's.
B.W.: So I don't get an "A" for this cravat?

ORTIZZLE: Actually, you do get an "A," but in my rating chart, that's for "awful."

B.W.: Nance will be so disappointed.

ORTIZZLE: She's used to it. She loves you anyway, even if you do cause her to gnash her teeth more than you should. In any case, she's on vacation and is not responsible for the opinions expressed by third parties.

I Am Left Too Devastated For Even A Modicum Of Fashion Outrage. Alas!

* Obviously, July will not be much of an improvement over June, cravatically speaking. Brian, who broke not only the Simplest Rule of Fashion, but My Trust by repeating the Gadgety Tie of 25 June so quickly on 2 July has cavalierly and carelessly repeated it again tonight, 10 July, for those of you scoring at home. Had I enough energy left after sobbing and wailing and gnashing my teeth to summon any Fashion Outrage, I would vent it here. Alas! I have none. He has worn me out. No pun intended.