Why, Yes, You May Call It A Threat

As we here at The Report try to thaw from yet another Polar Vortex Visitation, it hardly seems worth our while to apply our benumbed and frosty fingers to the keyboard to report on another manifestation of That Tie.  You know the one.  It keeps violating our Fashion Space with its lurid Purply Gleam, its confusing pattern of impossibly small somethings that pulsate and flitter about and defy us at every angle.  Today its dimple is, we begrudgingly admit, quite nice, but not enough to save it.  If it appears once more this month--nay, once more before the first week of February is spent--we are relegating it to The Axis Of Evil.  That is how badly this tie has been used.