In Which I Personify Tonight's Tie As A Vehicle For My Fashion Frustration

You know, readers, tonight's tie of navy blue crossed with kelly green diagonals snugged by pearl grey pinstripes was trying to say many things to me. "Look! Here is the green you used to lament and wail for!" was among them. So was "Don't I look dapper and Ivy League?" along with "I'll bet I am the envy of so many British Lower School headmasters." But all I could hear was, "Blah blah striped tie blah blah again blah blah."