Brian Is Lucky That An English Teacher Writes This Blog

I want to be nice and supportive of this tie. I really do. But what do you do about a tie that simply announces, "I AM A CHRISTMAS CANDY CANE" the moment you see its bright red and deep red diagonal stripes on a shiny white field? Perhaps you try, and you become thoughtful and literary and hearken back to that American classic by Harper Lee and the passage in which Scout describes her first grade teacher, Miss Caroline, who "wore high-heeled pumps and a red-and-white striped dress. She looked and smelled like a peppermint drop." There, Brian Williams. There.