An Afternoon Visit

This evening's cravat is a textural treat of muted navy stripes alternating with faux ropes of creamy gold.  He detested these sorts of Command Performances, and at his age.  What was the point, besides placating the Old Treasure Chest as he now called her.  He got all dressed up on a Sunday when he'd rather be home in his sweats, and was ushered in to a room that looked like a museum:  huge draperies dripping in bullion fringe, and enough scrollwork to make any housemaid weep.  And the oils!  Who were these staring, hollow-cheeked people anyway? And why was one so distinctly behind the hulking mahogany secretary?

Sir Brian

Brian reaches far back into his Collection to retrieve a stripe of silver and cardinal red this evening.  Bold and cavalier, it also manages to convey some traditionalism. It is a knightly tie, evocative of polished breastplates and brilliant flags streaming behind gallant steeds. A lance is raised, a visor lowered, and blood will stain the field.

Our Star Works A Surprise Day-After-A-Holiday Shift, Yet Fails Us In His Cravat Selection By Wearing A Fashion Turkey, As It Were

SPT. Thankfully, not the egregious one; this one was a deep, rich plumwine. As you all know, however, we here at The Report don't discriminate and cannot relent. Any SPT falls under the Axis Of Evil.

That's just How It Is.

To Sleep--Perchance To Dream...

A somber and elegant cravat of charcoal with widely spaced stripes of smoky plum is worn by Brian Williams tonight.  It is a turbulent Sleep which visits her that night, discomfiting and troubled.  As he draws her into the purple curtains of a deep and darkened dream, she hears again the horses' hooves striking the asphalt and the rolling wheels of the caisson in a neverending dirge.

Dark Secret

It's the serious stripes for Brian Williams this evening, a cravat of deep periwinkle and ebony diagonals.  It is rather moody, like deepening twilight in a heavy paneled study.  As the melancholy tones of a bell announce an evening visitor, he sighs and places his reading glasses atop the small darkwood table.  Her sorrow will not improve the chill of the room, he muses.  Still, she has every right to be here and every reason to ask her questions. But he knows the answers will only serve to ruin them both.

Brian Has Really Pushed My Buttons This Week Already

So, it's going to be one of those weeks, cravatically speaking, is it? A week like when you take the time to pack a nice lunch in your bento-boxy thing, then leave it on the hood of your car because your cell phone starts to slip out of your pocket, and then you accidentally push the button on your key fob with your elbow and set off the car alarm, so you have to take care of that, which is why you had to buy lunch today along with a new bento-boxy thing.  It's only Tuesday, but that awful leering thistle and blaring blue striped silk hot on the heels of an SPT is...ominous.  And exasperating, really. And sad. Just...sad.

Ugh.

SPT. Perhaps to punish me for my week away. Such a snit is unbecoming avec n'importe quelle cravate, mon cherie.

Power Struggle

Brian has been shopping, and tonight he wears a tie of lampblack with widely staggered brilliant blue stripes.  The pilot announces their imminent landing at Dulles, and she tiredly slips her feet into her high heels.  It won't be a pleasant meeting with the Senator, and she tries to remember the last time it was.  At least Alphonse, the driver, will have her coffee waiting, as he always does, and a reassuring smile.  She glances out at the lights on the runway, so colorful against the darkness of the early morning and the asphalt, and thinks momentarily of fireworks.

Making A Difference: Brian Williams Keeps His Ties This Time (Too Bad There Wasn't A Purple Theme)

Before I return to regularly scheduled programming here at The Report, allow me to once again turn to matters of more substance.  As you may recall, last year I was pleased to bring you news of Joan's Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer and its annual benefit.  This worthy cause was founded to honor the life of Joan Scarangello, a writer at NBC News, who fell victim to lung cancer in 2001 despite never having smoked in her 47 years.  In 2010 Brian Williams donated an auction lot of six autographed ties which ended up selling for about $5000.

(That's a lot of money for ties, especially for the Hermes with the penguins on it. And to think I described it as a faux paisley print--11 February 2010...sigh. Pre-HD, though.)

But it's nowhere near what is needed to combat the Number 1 Cancer Killer in the United States.  This scourge is the world's deadliest cancer; an estimated 157,000 Americans are estimated to die from lung cancer this year - more than colon, breast, and pancreatic cancers combined.

More than 220,000 Americans will be diagnosed with lung cancer this year, but only 16% of lung cancer is being diagnosed at its earliest and most curable stage.  Like Joan, sadly, many of its victims are misdiagnosed and the cancer is too far advanced to effect a cure. 

That's why aggressive research and awareness are so desperately necessary. 

To that end, Joan's Legacy: Uniting Against Lung Cancer announces its Strolling Supper with Blues and News, hosted by Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw.  Another silent auction will be held and, while there will be no ties, the slate of offerings is impressive.  It includes:

*Hanging out on-set at The Big Bang Theory, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report
*Autographed memorabilia from Lady Gaga and Santonio Holmes
*Vacations at Costa Rica, Cancun, and Cape Cod
*Designer wares by Coach, Kate Spade, Michael Kors, and Betsey Johnson
*A Longer Shelf Life:  Your name as a character in a future Sue Grafton novel
               AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

This year, there is also online bidding--it begins November 9th.  Click here to go and see all the items and reserve prices.  That way, you don't have to go to New York; you can just sit at home in your tasteful jammies, pour a glass of Chardonnay, and click till you score your objet de désir. 

The Report is honored and proud to use its powers for the Greater Good, even in this small, small way.  For even more information, and a chance for a little bit more of BriWi--you'll recognize the tie, an old favourite of his--you can watch this short viddy:


Thank you.

Was It Bring Your Little Daughter To Work Night At The Nightly For The Wardrobe Dept?

SPT. And, The Report must take a moment to comment on the cravat of reporter Mike Taibbi, which was startlingly garish in all its Barbie pinkness.  When the two ties were across from each other, it was like a glimpse down the Dora the Explorer aisle at Toys-BackwardsR-Us. 

For Whom The Tie Polls

Tonight's cravat is a very textured striper of true blue and stormcloud.  It looks tweedy and almost sweaterish.  This tie is the herringbone jacket with elbow patches, worn by Hemingway-esque professors who, in deference to the No Smoking regulations, cradle the bowls of their cold pipes in one hand as they gesture with the stem to illustrate their point. 

Is It A Tie Or A Craft Project/Halloween Costume/Project Runway Challenge?

Tonight, Brian's tie is so complex and intricate that I almost had to make a small diagram in order to explicate it.  (Thanks a lot, HDTV.) Brilliant summersky blue is overlaid by broad bands of black meshwork, then further interrupted by platinum stripes shot through with narrow ribbons of lavender.  This cravat was, in a word, worky. And all over the place. It had too much going on. It reminds me of those Saloon Girl Outfits, you know? Those things have satin and lace and ruffles and lacings and corseting and decolletage and a peplum and a bustle and fishnet stockings and short boots and holy crap, it's like the dressmaker discovered margaritas and velcro in the same night, you know?

In Which I Postulate A Possible Origin For Brian's Repeat Cycles (But Never Excuse Them)

This evening's cravat is a violet blue field crossed by mulberry stripes which bear an intarsia rope pattern.  I am reminded of a peculiar run of Christmases wherein my mother, for some unknown reason, was on a Repeat Cycle of her own.  For about five years in a row, I received a purple cableknit sweater.  Not the same one, but a Variation On The Theme.  If my mother is locked in some sort of Vulcan Mind Meld with Brian Williams, we are all in serious trouble.

Where Has This Tie Been? BriWi Finds A Hidden Style Stash

Brian Williams finds a secret door in his Armoire de Cravates and from it draws tonight's stylish striped offering.  Rich plumwine alternates with creamy ivory, the latter pinstriped by carnation pink.  The whole effect is part confectionery, part la mode de Louis XV, part "Let's sneak out of the reception early and go to the wine bar for the new Beaujolais tasting."   

And It Looked Even Tackier And Shinier Tonight, If That Is Possible

SPT. And just like that, our hopes are completely and devastatingly dashed. 

The Report Breathes A Sigh Of Relief

Mr. Williams steps up his fashion game profoundly from last night with this cravat of a smokey, pale indigo upon which are scattered tiny ebony windowframes with white centres. Quietly confident; it speaks in modulated tones, but is always heard and respected.  It is the perfect combination of brains and beauty.

Brian Williams Has A Shopping Fantasy

"Yes, good afternoon, Miss. I'm looking for a tie that...well, just a tie. I don't want it to be too noticeable, too...fashionable.  I'm a Serious Newsman, and what I'm wearing isn't the point.  It just isn't what's important. With so much going on in the world, people need to--yes, like that one.  Just dark blue with...what are those stripes, red?  Kind of...pink?  Orangey, sort of?  Whatever.  On camera, those double pinstripes will read red anyway.  A nice blue tie with red stripes.  That's what I'm talkin' about. A tie that no one can care about."

Two Parts Vodka, One Part Dry Vermouth, A Splash Of Olive Brine, And A Bleu Cheese Stuffed Olive In A Chilled Glass, S'Il Vous Plait

SPT.  I suppose we should have known, since its Harbinger, the Jet and Gold Bling Stripe, appeared yesterday.  It appears that October's Cycle Répété has begun. (And so has the Report's cycle de thérapie d'alcool.)

It's Like What Would Happen If She-Ra Got Trapped In The Tents At Fashion Week

Brian Williams continues to punish Nightly viewers by raiding his armoire d'atrocités and knotting up the raw silk cravat of orchid with pulsating ultramarine blue stripes.  It's what Jeremy Scott would send down the runway, and his models, sent to the makeup artists for a "blurred frosty-neon sort of Futuristic She-goddess Superhero Eye" would definitely slink the catwalk sporting these.

Brian Finally Mixes It Up

Brian Williams breaks The Cycle Of Despair for us viewers of The Nightly after Savannah helps him reset by sitting in on Friday.  Tonight, he dons a cravat from his Old Faithful collection, a striper of deep suitcoat navy crossed with blush pink diagonals.  This tie is an old-timey scene at a grade-school mixer.  All the boys wear their Sunday suits, their hair is parted razor sharp and the comb marks show in their dampened hair.  They line the gym along one side of the basketball court, staring at the little ringleted girls who look like puff pastries, cupcakes, and cotton candy in pastel clusters on the other side.