We Are Back At Our Desk, Much To Brian's Eternal Chagrin. We Know The Feeling, N'Est Ce Pas?

The Report returns to close out the month with Brian's own return--to the desk of The Nightly. After a few days of open collar shirts flapping in the breeze, he battens down the hatch with a striped silk tie of deep blue with slim diagonals evocative of raspberry sherbet. I feel like it's a Wrapping Paper Cravat, or more suited to perhaps a bold toss pillow in a Decorator's Bedroom, the kind you see in House Beautiful magazine while you're waiting at the doctor's office.

On The Water

A blue and white striped cravat this evening, yes, but one with a summery, nautical air. You grasp the rails at the bow of the boat as she cuts smoothly through the sparkling water just below, and you shift your body instinctively to meet each wave while the spray cools your sunburned face. The fresh air pushes each care and concern from your shoulders and, for the first time in weeks, you feel like the gulls above--floating and free and ready to ride the wind, even if only for a little while.

And Disappointment Rears Its Ugly Head In August

SPT. Oh, Brian Williams.

C'est Une Cravate D'Elégance, Certainement

One of the most chic cravates that Brian owns, this striped tie is a favourite of The Report. Its narrow stripes of barely blush pink and deep black/jet navy shot with blush are so fashionable and so French. It is delicately stylish, like a cameo on a velvet ribbon artfully circling the neck of Marie Antoinette. Conveying elegance without ostentation, it touches the right note of evening noblesse.

Welcome Back, Brian Williams

The Report is happy to welcome Brian Williams back to the desk of The Nightly, where he anchors it tonight sporting a cravat from the Ward Cleaver Collection. It is a subdued, patriarchal offering of jet navy with slender white stripes embraced by wider bands of reassuring burgundy. It is a classic, staid presence of a tie, one which, if it could speak, would say in comforting tones, "Now, if you did your best, then that's all anyone can ask. Get a good night's sleep, and I'll bet things look a whole lot better tomorrow."

Ah, A Breath Of Fresh Air

Brian Williams relents and knots up a lovely cravat of powdery sky and creamy azure. This tie is a whisper under the clouds at a romantic summer picnic, the soft strains of a violin building to crescendo at an outdoor symphony, and the glimpse of a bluebird on the lamppost at dawn.

And Don't Pretend You Like It Just Because It's Not Purple Or In The AOE

"Hello, designers, and welcome to the New York Department of Transportation's storage warehouse. Today's challenge on Project Runway is to create a men's fashion statement using anything here as your inspiration. It might be a sign, or it might be a vehicle, or anything that creatively moves you. Try not to be too literal in your translation, however. Above all, make it yours, and make it work!"

Not Quite

Brian gives it Another Try tonight, knotting up a cravat of wide stripes in orchid and jet navy. Oh well. He tried. But it's not a good combination. It's like when kids put ketchup on baloney or dip their chicken nuggets in mayonnaise. Sure, they like it, but we all know it's not A Good Thing, and that once their tastes mature and develop, they'll see the error of their ways.

All Sharp Objects Have Been Removed From Report HQ, And The 24-Hour Liquor Store Is #1 On Speed-Dial

Solid Purple Tie. Je n'ai pas de mots.

July: Why We Drink

Clearly, Brian is throwing Caution To The Fashion Winds this month. Not only is he choosing cravats almost exclusively from the Axis Of Evil, he is resorting to the most Reprehensible Repeat Cycles ever. Having just worn the jet navy tie with slender carnation pink stripes on Tuesday, BriWi slings it on again tonight--Thursday, for those of you scoring At Home--innocently raising the ire (and Fashion Hackles) of The Report almost continually during July. The only thing not rising is the level of Three Olives and Noilly Prat in The Report's liquor cabinet.

Being As I Am Taxed Overmuch By Catastrophic Cravats, I Shall Be Sporadic In My July Reporting

Solid Purple Tie. Yes, I know it's periwinkle. But I'm calling it anyway. July is killing me.

The Report Feels An Urgent Need To Recruit A Volunteer Brigade

TWSNLBRAINDTM. July is an absolute Dumpster Fire Of Fashion.

...And Then They Dare To Eat A Peach

Brian Williams knots up his solid magenta silk tie this evening. I feel like this is a sort of J. Alfred Prufrock Tie: This tie is probably in the necktie collection of all Men Of A Certain Age. It's a Midlife Fashion Moment Tie. It's the tie that men suddenly snatch in that brief Devil-May-Care whim after they buy another pair of khaki Dockers and another pair of comfy Rockports and go to yet another dinner at Olive Garden. "Hell no, I'm not in a Middle Age Rut!" they snort derisively. "Looky here at this stylish, bold tie and tell me that I'm not snazzy!"

It Is Nothing Short Of An Act Of Domestic Terrorism

Quelle Horreur! For the second day in a row...Solid Purple Tie.

Unprecedented.

Unforgiveable.

Je suis sans les mots suffisants.

...And The Axis Turns On

What a dreadful turn of events. Solid Purple Tie. (And despite the luscious plummy colour, said SPT was looking none too crisp. Rather...rumply.)

There Are Some Things From Which We Can Never Escape

It was The Report's turn to go On Hiatus, and look what we came home to. TWSNLBRAINDTM. Urgh.

Bri Is Back Avec La Cravate, And The Report Approves

Brian cannot help himself; after a time, he simply must get back to Sartorial Splendour and Tie One On. And what a tie it is. Navy stripes--was there a subtler pinstripe in there? so hard to discern--alternated with shocking pink, almost a blushing magenta, shot through with a darker thread. The combination was sexy and startling, like finding out your stodgy financial planner is having a torrid affair with a younger woman, or seeing your matronly aunt at a lingerie party buying a black lace garter belt.

M. Williams, Pourquoi Portez-Vous Une Telle Grande Chemise?

If Brian is on location, then we at The Report can be certain of one thing: He will be wearing A Bigass Shirt. This one was the requisite light blue Oxford type and was flapping in the Louisiana breeze like an unfurled sail. Stunningly tanned and outdoorsy-looking, though, he almost managed to carry it off. Almost.

Absence Doesn't Always Make The Heart Grow Fonder, But It Does Make It A Tad Forgetful

TWSNLBRAINDTM. Holy Crap. It's been a long time. I hardly recognized it.

A Step Up Before He Steps Out

Brian Williams recovers his Style Points a bit with tonight's cravat. Deep jet navy alternates with a statement lilac shot with a subtle thread of darker hue. This striped necktie is a bit Art Deco in ambience. Very New York and very polished. One can almost see the valet in the wings with a clothes brush, sighing with relief that he was able to briskly sweep away the last few flecks of studio dust and powder before BW took the set.