Enfin Le Style!

Brian knots up his black and blush-of-pink striped silk cravat. This tie is oh so très Française. Pick any Toulouse-Lautrec painting, almost. This one. Or, how about this one? And...this one. One more...this one. See what I mean? Cette cravate est très Française, n'est-ce pas ?

May--Although Solid--Has Not Been A Stellar Fashion Month

Solid Purple Tie.

Okay. We Need To Talk. Again.

Brian...le sigh. This cravat of garnet intarsia with sparsely sprinkled circlets of smoked ivory ringed with obsidian is more of a Fall/Winter tie. (We talked about this.) It's like the more I try, the more you resist and just stubbornly go your own Fashion Way. Persistence is an admirable trait when one is Pursuing A News Lead, but when one is simply ignoring The Rules Of Style, it's just "Being Difficult."

Summertie

This tie is a breezy striper of navy blue and white, the latter sporting a racing stripe of crimson zipping right through the center. It's a cravat announcing white shoe season. It makes us wonder if we need pool chemicals or if there's enough left from last year to get us started. It folds down the comforter on the bed and clicks on the ceiling fan to urge inside the breeze that whispers by the nighttime windows.

Hey, Bri-O. Bozo Called. He Wants His Tie Back.

I've already dubbed this garish cravat of red with white polka dotty print The Circus Tie. I'm afraid that I can't improve on that moniker. But it's not circusy in a nice, happy Big Top kind of way, though. It's more like...well, this.

Does Anyone Know What Takes Slimetrails Out Of Polyester Blend?

What to say about this cravat? It was a solid, graphite tie of what looked to be fine worsted wool. Basically, it lay there like a big garden slug. I think that's pretty much it.

Sometimes A Blue Tie Is Just A Blue Tie

In a spurt of shyness, Brian Williams wore a tie that he obviously hoped would help him blend in with the blue background of The NBC Nightly News video set. Its cornflower, Microsoft blue was unbroken by any pattern, stripe, or spot. Indeed, at any moment, I expected to see it become a small video screen itself, perhaps showing some sort of graph or chart tracking the spread of the oil plume or the path of the Loop Current. Alas, no; it remained what it was, a big ol' solid blue tie.

Brian Wears Another Striped Tie, So In Order To Remain Calm And Not Too Bored Or Irritated, I Compose A Stately Haiku

* Summer sky and wheat.
A lone farmer strolls the rows;
They nod in return.

This Tie Is The Cat's Meow

Oh, I am fond of this tie. It is so stylish, with its stripes of jet navy and cream, the latter being divided by that slim band of orchid. I always think of the Twenties, when pastels were de rigeur, and the men of The Great Gatsby, who wore suits of periwinkle and cream, lounging languidly next to their lemon yellow cars. The women were slender and bored, and always fashionable.

Is There A Guinness Book Of Cravat Infamy?

Solid Purple Tie. Brian is racking up quite the record lately.

And Don't Give Me Any Crap About It Being April 30th When He Wore It Last Because Mere Technicalities Don't Mean S***t To Me When I'm Irritated

C'est le mois de répète. The tie that I showered with accolades a mere five reports ago now irks me. True, its slim black and blushing pink stripes, the latter shot with a dark thread, are still tres chic, but has Mr. Williams never heard the axiom "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? Well, he should because it does and I'm peeved; so there.

It's Like A Little Me Time

A sigh of relief. Brian knots up The Tie, the flamingo pink with ivory petit point scattered upon it. This tie is just so...uplifting! It's like blowing off work after lunch on a sunny Friday; buying a cute pair of heels before you know what you have to wear with them; telling Hubby and the kids to go ahead and order a pizza for dinner as you spirit away a half-bottle of rosé and that little box of Godivas you bought for yourself. "Mommy has a headache," you say, and you shut the bedroom door, stretch out in bed, and enjoy some time alone.

For Some Transgressions, There Can Be No Forgiveness

Wow. Brian. Really? In an Egregious Repeat Cycle Of Epic Proportions (see day before yesterday), Solid Purple Tie.

Thank You, But No

I just don't like this tie, the purple silk with widely staggered narrow white stripes. It's kind of icky, really, like the uncle you don't see very often--only at big family gatherings once a year--but who always kisses you right smack on the mouth. Or the orange jello salad that has mandarin oranges and celery in it. It's not horrible or disgusting; it just doesn't sit quite right with you.

It Is With Deep Regret That We Here At The Report Must Inform You...

Solid Purple Tie.

Even Though There Is No Tie To Report

Il est sans cravate ce soir. Instead, as is his custom when on location at le desastre du jour, Brian dons an unnecessarily bigass shirt. Le sigh.