Oh, Mr. Brian Williams! Just how many navy blue and yellowgold stripedy ties do you own? Answer: ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. Brian Williams, I feel like you should just get in there, into your Armoire du Cravates, root around for awhile, and pull out each and every single one of them. And then, in one glorious Fashion Rebellion, WEAR THEM ONE RIGHT AFTER ANOTHER UNTIL YOU HAVE EXHAUSTED THE SUPPLY.
Then burn the whole lot.
And never, ever buy another one for the rest of your life.
Mr. Williams rebounds nicely by wearing the stripe of rich mahogany and strands of burnished gold. She was a joy to watch in their tiny kitchen, and even lying ill with 'flu, he smiled as he saw her bustling about to prepare their dinner. Her black hair had been pulled up in a loose bun, but her earrings danced as she moved about the stove and counter. Now and then, the spice grinder whirred, and he breathed in the healing aromas of cinnamon, cardamom, cumin, and turmeric as she toasted them in the pan. Her myriad bracelets jingled and rang, something suddenly sizzled, and she sang and laughed.
Oh, this sad, sad tie! Why does Brian Williams continue to provoke us here at The Report by wearing it? The fabric quality appears cheap, and the colors--flat, wan, dime-store purple and white in a stripe (always a stripe!)--seem as if they belong in a tube of Dollar Store toothpaste instead of around the neck of The Most Trusted Voice In America's News.
Bri ties on a stripe of charred navy and pumpkin from the Standby Stable tonight. He leans on this cravat like I lean on my jar of Nutella when I run out of desserts in the house. Do I hate this tie? Only sometimes. It's like peanut butter to me. I have to be desperate or in the mood for it or it has to really work well with the rest of the ingredients. Tonight, this Peanut Butter/Nutella Tie made it on all three counts.
Live from atop the noisy Democratic National Convention, Brian is wearing a cravat striped with solid smoky blue and pale gold, the latter an embossed rope pattern. It is an instantly formal and aristocratic tie, one which evokes admirals with epaulets and drapes of bullion fringe, or French uniforms from 1757, or the plush interiors of royal palaces.
Why Aren't There Pictures Of The Ties On This Blog?
I have to chuckle every time I get this question--and I get it more than I care to admit.
Putting photos of the ties on my blog would then render my descriptions totally unnecessary and extraneous, would it not? Why then, would I need to describe them if you could just look at them? If you would, however, like to witness the Sartorial Splendour of Bri's Ties, you can always do what I do--watch the newscast! If you aren't home or can't eke out that time, then after 10 PM, you can go to the MSNBC.com Nightly News site and play the webcast.
These ties have worn out their welcome at The Nightly: TWSNLBRAINDTM-- The Gadgety Tie-- The Picnic Tie--All Solid Purple Ties--Dogpatch Designer Challenge Tie--Grey Amoeba Tie (added 4-16-14).
What does "TWSNLBRAINDTM" Mean?
This strange acronym stands for Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. Brian wore it with such shameless frequency and it is such a boring, pedestrian tie (which spawned a series of ties with the similar color combination and stripes--always stripes!) that I have forever refused to describe it ever again. If you wish to read a description of this awful tie, you may refer to the 2/19, 4/18, 5/3, 5/10, and 5/15 of the 2007 Tie Reports. After that, I went completely over the edge and conferred TWSNLBRAINDTM status.