Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Bri Is Back Avec La Cravate, And The Report Approves

Brian cannot help himself; after a time, he simply must get back to Sartorial Splendour and Tie One On. And what a tie it is. Navy stripes--was there a subtler pinstripe in there? so hard to discern--alternated with shocking pink, almost a blushing magenta, shot through with a darker thread. The combination was sexy and startling, like finding out your stodgy financial planner is having a torrid affair with a younger woman, or seeing your matronly aunt at a lingerie party buying a black lace garter belt.

Monday, June 28, 2010

M. Williams, Pourquoi Portez-Vous Une Telle Grande Chemise?

If Brian is on location, then we at The Report can be certain of one thing: He will be wearing A Bigass Shirt. This one was the requisite light blue Oxford type and was flapping in the Louisiana breeze like an unfurled sail. Stunningly tanned and outdoorsy-looking, though, he almost managed to carry it off. Almost.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Absence Doesn't Always Make The Heart Grow Fonder, But It Does Make It A Tad Forgetful

TWSNLBRAINDTM. Holy Crap. It's been a long time. I hardly recognized it.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

A Step Up Before He Steps Out

Brian Williams recovers his Style Points a bit with tonight's cravat. Deep jet navy alternates with a statement lilac shot with a subtle thread of darker hue. This striped necktie is a bit Art Deco in ambience. Very New York and very polished. One can almost see the valet in the wings with a clothes brush, sighing with relief that he was able to briskly sweep away the last few flecks of studio dust and powder before BW took the set.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sometimes, You Have To Go Big Or (Don't) Go Home

Tonight's tie is unremarkable. A barely-there miniature pattern of a nondescript color and shape is laid over an arresting blue-violet silk. It's a perfectly acceptable tie, ably knotted and in no way offensive or tasteless. Just like giving your wife a nice mixed bouquet from the florist's cooler on your anniversary. Absolutely fine. But where's the style?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

When I Am Vexed, It Brings Out The Grammar In Me

Je suis trés desolée. Brian, who debuted this cravat only four ties ago, slings it on again. Already! Was he concerned we would forget its cornflower blue background crossed by bands of brushed gold bordered by white pinstriping? Because I hadn't, and now I am resentful because he has made me lean overmuch on the adjectival participle and participial phrase.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Brian May Be Back, But His Tie Is Still On Vacation

Brian is back from his vacances, and he favours us with a lovely cravat. It is the coral pink silk tie with the ivory petit point overall print. So summery and flirty! I just want to pop it into a frothy drink, poolside, like a little umbrella, and ask Carlo, le garçon de cabana, to bring me a nice selection of tropical fruit skewers.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

This Tie Is Rated "T" For Terrifying

Oh, this tie. Each time I see its fluorescent orchid with slender ultramarine blue stripes practically pulsating upon my television, I cringe. It is the Herman Munster of cravats. It belongs on the panels of a Creepshow comic. It is, in a word, horrific.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

So, I'm Getting So Bored With Some Ties That I've Started To Amuse Myself By Composing Anapestic Doggerel Now

Navy blue once again was the tie for tonight.
There were stripes--burgundy--they were bordered by white.
It was tasteful and fine;
Very much in His line.
He still won't wear paisley, though, try as I might.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

What A Burden I Bear

Heavy Sigh. Solid Purple Tie. For those of you scoring at home--besides moi, that is--let the record show that he just wore a SPT on Friday, 4 June. Why must I suffer this way?

Monday, June 7, 2010

An Honorable Cravat

Debut Tie. Perhaps this tie is Brian Williams' homage to The Medal of Honor recipients that he reveres so much and showcases on The Nightly when the occasion arises. It has the same ocean blue field, and its brushed gold stripes are banded by pristine white piping, echoing the stars on the ribbon and of the Medal itself.

Friday, June 4, 2010

June Is Shaping Up To Be A Bust

Solid Purple Tie. June is not beginning well at all.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

In Which I Invoke The IHoP, Oil Spill, And Brian's Proclivity For Gigantic Shirts. What Can I Say? I've Been Away A Long Time.

Brian returns from Oil Spill Ravaged Louisiana and his slide into Gigantic Shirt Territory, but there is no Fashion Redemption for The Report. (Only a Caps Lock workout, apparently.) Stubbornly, BW insists upon continuing the strenuous workout of the jet navy silk tie with the narrow carnation pink stripes. I cannot begin to tell you how I have soured on this particular cravat, one which I used to laud with praise and kudos. Now when I see it--again and again and again--my reaction is something akin to eating pancakes. Oh sure, they look wonderful at first, but once you get about a quarter of the way into that stack, the maple syrup starts to cloy your tastebuds, the doughiness of the flapjacks starts to weigh in your gut like a culinary barbell, and the mere idea of plying your fork one more time makes you want to stab the waitress.