Wednesday, February 17, 2010

While The Flame Burns, I'm Out!

I'm just not going to struggle with a Report when Brian Williams tucks his ties in like my mother did her jewelry in her vacation luggage. It's just too stressful and prone to error. The Report is officially On Hiatus until apr├Ęs les jeux Olympiques.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Is There Such A Thing As "Outdoorsy Formal?" Must I Ready A New AOE?

Solid Purple Tie. Thankfully, it was tucked away behind a sweater/outdoor jackety thingy, so we didn't see but a glimpse of its knot and a tad of the rest of it. I would like to mention, however, that Overwearing At The Olympics is how the Gadgety Tie got relegated to the Axis Of Evil. At least this time Brian Williams erred on the side of Efficiency and wore one already designated.

Friday, February 12, 2010

O Brian! I Celebrate And Sing Your Self (Without A Tie).

Il est sans cravate. Brian, on location in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada for the Winter Olympics, has chosen a decidedly Outdoorsy Look. I am loving it. He looks quite sporty and capable, and brings to mind all sorts of rugged words like terrain, brogans, tarp, Gore-tex, and kayak. It's a very Walt Whitman Song of Myself #33, O Pioneers! sort of look, and I'm a little breathless just thinking about it.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

In Which I Rejoice, For Brian Williams Has Answered My Fashion Call, And In Which I Reminisce, For He Also Takes Me Back To My Dream Deferred

Debut Tie. For years I have lamented the Fashion Gap in Brian Williams' wardrobe that is the lack of a paisley tie. Tonight, consider that Gap closed! This evening, BriWi boldly knots up a modern take on the classic paisley--a violet cravat with a white faux paisley print. The small teardrops are closely-set with no embellishments, but they are paisley-inspired, without a doubt. This reminded me immediately of my days in pre-veterinary medicine, looking at slides of liver flukes stained in crystal violet. Who knew that something so intricately lovely could be so deadly? Let's hope the similarity is non-transferable....

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow More, Please...Give This Cravat A Tieme Out

Brian stood outside in the driving snow for part of this newscast, and his tie looked as if it were dry clean only and getting the worst of it. Its vivid blue stripes looked blurry, as if they were beginning to run into the orchid color behind them. Once he stepped back into the toasty warm confines of the Nightly studio, however, we realized that it was just the nature of this cravat, which looks a little like what happens when your kids leave their sidewalk chalk out in the rain.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Sunny Bit Of Comfort

While it's true that Brian has a few of these striped ties, this--the soft yellow and heather grey one--is a welcome sight. It's like seeing a tin of warm cornbread muffins coming out of the oven on a cool, rainy morning or a chunk of lemon poppyseed poundcake waiting next to a chubby little pot of Earl Grey tea on a cloudy afternoon.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Kind Of A Ship-Shape, Spic-and-Span Sort Of Tie

Tonight Brian Williams wears a stripe of bright white and dressy navy blue. There is just something about this tie that makes me uneasy. Perhaps it is the stressful contrast between the two colors. Perhaps it is the stark whiteness. Perhaps it just makes me think of snappish officers conducting White Glove Inspections, running their index fingers along door moldings and into impossible crevices, looking for dust particles even Aunt Mabel, whose clean fetish would shame Howard Hughes, could miss.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Brian Is Lucky That An English Teacher Writes This Blog

I want to be nice and supportive of this tie. I really do. But what do you do about a tie that simply announces, "I AM A CHRISTMAS CANDY CANE" the moment you see its bright red and deep red diagonal stripes on a shiny white field? Perhaps you try, and you become thoughtful and literary and hearken back to that American classic by Harper Lee and the passage in which Scout describes her first grade teacher, Miss Caroline, who "wore high-heeled pumps and a red-and-white striped dress. She looked and smelled like a peppermint drop." There, Brian Williams. There.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

There's A Little Something Sweet Left Over For You In The Fridge

Return with The Report to this tie's Debut on 16 March 2009 with this Classic Cravat Critique:

After a long weekend Brian knots up yet another new cravat! This one is an oxblood Ivy Leaguer with widely spaced, narrow stripes of pearlescent white shot through with a thread of the darker color. All I could think about as I carefully analyzed that tie was a slice of dark chocolate red velvet cake with glossy whipped white frosting, and pretty soon I was settling for graham crackers and this. Not the same; not even close.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Perhaps This Cravat Is Ready To Retire And Collect Its Social Security Benefits

Tonight Brian ties on a tired-looking pale blue cravat with slim navy stripes set at wide intervals. This tie just looks...elderly to me, like big Chryslers with frosty paint jobs and Florida license plates parked at Golden Corrals and Old Country Buffets at three-thirty. Or big vinyl purses with lots of inside pockets, most of which are full of Sweet-n-Low packets and Werther's. Or couches and chairs with lots and lots of little blankets and footstools close by like Comfort Brigades.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Bit Of A Getaway Tonight

The cool melon and soft grey stripes of this tie may be out of season, but they are a welcome respite from the frigid winter. Viewing this cravat is like peeking through the weathered cedar boards of a seaside fence at the pastel summer homes along the shore. Painted in the candy colors of vacation, they look warm and beachy, each one with a shady veranda and awnings like visors against the beaming sun.