The Tie Report, being Away On Vacation, is pleased to have a Guest Reporter. This Report is provided by Ortizzle, who even got all techy on us and is providing us with a picture!
ORTIZZLE: Uh, Bri... you're having another case of dysfunctional stripes.
B.W.: Again? I thought you liked purple.
ORTIZZLE: Well, clearly you do. And it's musty lavender, not purple. But that's not the problem. The problem is the fireflies that are crash-landing in the lilacs.
B.W.: Oh. You mean those nice peaches-n-cream stripes, edged in the finest lines of crimson?
ORTIZZLE: Those are the very ones.
B.W.: I thought the overall effect was exquisite, rather like a rare species of butterfly.
ORTIZZLE: Better let this one flutter by. It will never get you invited to tea at the Lepidoptera's.
B.W.: So I don't get an "A" for this cravat?
ORTIZZLE: Actually, you do get an "A," but in my rating chart, that's for "awful."
B.W.: Nance will be so disappointed.
B.W.: Again? I thought you liked purple.
ORTIZZLE: Well, clearly you do. And it's musty lavender, not purple. But that's not the problem. The problem is the fireflies that are crash-landing in the lilacs.
B.W.: Oh. You mean those nice peaches-n-cream stripes, edged in the finest lines of crimson?
ORTIZZLE: Those are the very ones.
B.W.: I thought the overall effect was exquisite, rather like a rare species of butterfly.
ORTIZZLE: Better let this one flutter by. It will never get you invited to tea at the Lepidoptera's.
B.W.: So I don't get an "A" for this cravat?
ORTIZZLE: Actually, you do get an "A," but in my rating chart, that's for "awful."
B.W.: Nance will be so disappointed.
ORTIZZLE: She's used to it. She loves you anyway, even if you do cause her to gnash her teeth more than you should. In any case, she's on vacation and is not responsible for the opinions expressed by third parties.
