Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Cloudburst On Classic Levis

Tonight, Brian wore a cravat of light indigo peppered with deep blue polka dots. It reminded me of the days when I used to hang my vintage Levis on the clothesline in my mom's backyard so they could fade naturally to the classic vintage blue. Some summer days, the heat would build enough that a passing shower would erupt, and I would run out and grab the jeans off the line as the raindrops darkened the denim here and there with spots of the freshwater that fell from the glowering clouds.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Plummy Mystery

* Sadly, parent conferences did not allow me to see this tie properly, and I am bereft. It was impossible to view it in detail on the webcast. All I could make out was a rich, plummy background sprinkled with a white pattern and perhaps, perhaps something in a chestnut or cinnamon, but perhaps not, for it might have been a pixellated trick of shadowing. Sigh. Forget it. I'll have to wait for him to wear it again.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Heavenly Tie--Literally

Looking almost celestially sophisticated, Brian rebounds from a Terrible Tie Week with a simply beautiful cravat with stripes of midnight and watercolored violet blue. The fabric's finish is slightly glazed, the knot precise. This is a tie that confers refinement and discernment. Its palette is evocative of the cosmos at night. It's an intergalactic triumph.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Scary Clown Costume Tie

* It's a fabric that would be perfect for the big ballooning costume of a birthday-party clown: shiny white patterned with a hallucinogenic purple houndstooth that seems to flicker and dance like chaser lights on a house overly decorated for the Christmas holidays. Instead, in a tragic turn of events, this material has been fashioned--and I use the term oh so very loosely--into a tie of sorts for Our Own Brian Williams. Worse, he has chosen yet again to wear it for a broadcast of The Nightly. And I watched. Oh, the horror.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Fake Stained Glass Cravat Catastrophe

No longer on location, Bri is back in studio and sporting a Cravat Catastrophe. This tie reminds me of that cheapo film you can buy by the roll in catalogs like Lillian Vernon and stick on your window to make it look like fake stained glass. It's that hideous bluey-reddy-purply patterned trainwreck-of-a-tie that I thought I had run out of analogies for. Apparently not.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Another On-Location Disaster...Shirt

On location in fire-ravaged SoCal, Brian subjects already horrified and displaced Californians to one of his tragic shirts: ill-fitting, flapping, oddly-colored...I just cannot go on. Haven't these poor people been through enough? Is FEMA prepared to deal with the PTSD caused by BW's FFP*? I cannot go on.

*fashion faux pas

Monday, October 22, 2007

The Brown Tie

Once he introduced this tie to us on 31 August, Brian hasn't been shy about tossing it on. This corky cravat has made three appearances now, and its cryptic center crease, though fading, is still visible ever so slightly when the tie is subject to my laserlike scrutiny. The color is definitely a designer's shade like "African Savannah" or "Primeval Timber", but you just know BW calls it The Brown Tie.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Warmth Of Heart's Ease

* This evening, Brian knots up a solid of deep plum. This tie is like gazing into the throat of one of the first pansies of spring--velvety, dark, and holding the promise of warmth in its soft purple grasp. It is quiet and calm; the old-fashioned name for this blossom was once Heart's Ease, and it describes the effect of this cravat, one of the few of Brian's Purples that I don't mind seeing.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

A Subtle Nod To The Tribe

Brian subtly shows his allegiance to the young, battling Cleveland baseball team yet again with this Indians blue and baseline chalk white striped cravat. Hoping that the Tribe wraps things up in due course tonight, are you, BW? Me, too!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Like A Recurring Nightmare, It...Recurs. Again. Whatever.

Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. (But if you're curious, you can read a description of it here and here and here at The Brian Williams Tie Report Archive.)

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Life Imitates Art

Brian's cravat tonight evokes a lush 17th century Dutch still life. One can almost see the voluptuous red pears temptingly piled next to a creamy white chunk of farmer's cheese when looking at this garnet tie with its narrow white diagonal pinstriping. A work of sartorial art? Ja.

Monday, October 15, 2007

A Study In Prussian Blue

Imagine dipping your wet watercolour brush into Prussian Blue and dragging it across a damp, glossy paper in a broad, bold stroke that got fainter and fainter as your brush drew nearer the end. That furthest colour is the hue of Brian's tie this evening. Now, go back and dip that brush into the Blue again, but twirl the ends upon your palette, forming a stylus point, and plop dark dots of paints in symmetrical, patterned spots equidistant from each other upon that light Prussian Blue tint. There is the cravat Brian knotted up this evening. What a welcome change from the aberration of last night.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Misbegotten Cravat Selection

*Brian, Brian, Brian. What a giant leap backward into the trenches of Fashion Misbegottenia for you. This garish noose of navy blue bludgeoned by skinny magenta stripes is such a comedown after the bold debut of yesterday's stylistic cravat. A fabric such as this is far better suited to a confectioner's box or perhaps a milliner's advert. Certainly it does not belong about the neck and upon the torso of a trusted newsman such as yourself. Do let's try again, shall we?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

The World-Touring, Time-Traveling Tie

A Debut Tie! This tie, viewed from a distance, looks like the pelt of a Masai giraffe. But when the Nightly cameraman performs his magic, the closeup reveals a dramatically different cravat, one strangely evocative of so many other things. First, autumnal gold and black Indian corn. Then, its pattern evokes the eggy batter of cornmeal waffles pooling around the grids of a non-stick waffle iron. What a thought-provoking tie, Brian Williams! It sends the viewer's eyes from the African savannah to the ragged edge of the New World settlements to the breakfast buffet.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Scary Center Crease: Quelle Horreur!

One would think Mr. Williams could get more of the Mysterious Center Crease removed from his Friday Casual Khaki Tie, seeing as how he was off all day on Tuesday, but alas! 'Twas not to be. The longitudinal fold was omnipresent and puzzling, just as it was on 21 September. Certainly the intervening 19 days or so allowed enough time for its removal, whether by a professional or even by Brian or Mrs. Williams and a teakettle. Je suis très confusee! Quel est le problème ici ? I cannot be the only one to see it! Is this a Haley Joel Osment moment? "I see slovenly cravats. Only, they don't know they're creased!"

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Le Nightly Est Sans Brian Ce Soir

Brian and his pro-Cleveland tie of last night were apparently still celebrating, for anchor desk duties at The Nightly were ably helmed by the lovely and talented Ann Curry this evening. Brian and a new cravat are promised for tomorrow. Way to dress down those divas, Tribe! Bring on the Red Sox!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Brian Sends Me A Surreptitious Sports Message

Tonight, Brian subtly sends a message to me and all other fans of the Cleveland Indians with his navy blue tie banded by bold red stripes. GO TRIBE! BEAT THOSE YANKEES!

Friday, October 5, 2007

A Delectable Tie

*Tonight, Brian knots up a lovely deep plum solid cravat that is evocative of so many pleasant things. One thinks of the comforting grape jelly of the PB&J packed in brown paper lunch bags, or the summery smear of blackberry pie filling on a white dessert plate as the fork scrapes up that last little bit of fruit and crust. Or, that exotic cocktail you had, made with creme de cassis at the expensive, chic restaurant. Mmmmmm. Une cravate delicieux!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

The Cravat That Ate Good Taste

It's like The Murphy's Law of the tie world. When this particular cravat is viewed from a distance, it first looks like a cheap, thistle-colored solid from the 50% off After-Easter Sale table at Wal*Mart. But then, when The Nightly's cameraman tightens the shot, the true hideousness of this fashion faux pas is revealed: an itsy-bitsy luminescent violet and white houndstooth pattern so irritating that it seems to pulse and animate in a throbbing, heaving miasma of satin.

Dear God, make it stop.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

An Homage? Yet I Show Fashion Fatigue

Go Michigan! Go Navy! Go West Virginia University! Go Admiral King High School! Go College Park Elementary School! Sigh. I'm real sick of this tie: cobalt blue knifed with brilliant narrow yellow stripes. Is it a tribute to a school he once attended? Perhaps an homage to The Boy Scouts of America? My fatigue over speculating about its symbolism is exceeded only by my weariness of the tie itself. What would refresh me right about now is a nice paisley or a good shot of green, Mr. Williams. A green tie would be an oasis in a desert of stripes and solids. It would be a freshet in an arid wasteland of blue and purple and solids. Rejuvenate me, Brian Williams, before I perish in a desolate tundra of fashion oblivion!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Brian Takes The Road Less Traveled

A debut tie! This evening, Brian knots up a soft, burnished gold cravat with widely-spaced black stripes shot with a narrow white band. All I could think of was how one day, when Grandpa Brian hefts his little grandson onto his lap, said grandson could drive his little Hot Wheel cars all along those stripes, for they look exactly like miniature highways fashionably crossing his cravat. Perhaps one is called Armani Motorway, still another Tyrwhitt Turnpike. Vroom vroom vroom! In this age of excess, Brian shows how fashion forward he is with multifunction neckwear.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Brian Phones In The Slate And Chalk Stripe

After a long weekend, this is what we get, Brian Williams? The slate and chalk stripe? Oh, yes, you looked snappy enough, and the cravat had a lovely, tight four-in-hand, tied expertly enough so that the stripes gathered at the corner, giving the appearance of rays radiating from the base of the knot, but, oh, I don't know.... I just expected something more. True, having to follow the cool polish of Ann Curry is never easy, but it's like you felt you didn't even have to try. No one likes to be taken for granted, Brian, especially the person who takes such pains to detail your fashion decisions.