Tuesday, July 31, 2007

The Return of The Emergency Tie: Ill-Advised

Ill-advised. That is the first word I must use to describe tonight's neckwear choice by Brian Williams. The color, a garish thistle, is evocative of bad bridesmaids' dresses and cheap polyester short sets festooned with gaudy unlicensed cartoon characters for girls at Wal*Mart. No one willingly wears this color, which leads me to believe that this is, in fact, Brian's "Emergency Tie." I advanced this theory once before in an earlier Tie Report, now lost, and hypothesized that this solid cravat is one kept hanging over his office door in case he splotches some basil aioli or pomodoro sauce on his first-string tie. Oh, I hope so. I do hope so.

Monday, July 30, 2007

A Changeable Tie For The Man Of Mystery

A deep, sterling grey-violet is the oddish descriptor I must employ to bring Brian's tie to you today. This solid cravat is one of a changeable hue; indeed, when I asked Sam to offer an opinion, he deemed it "purple" to my "grey." This tie is not unlike BW himself, who certainly has an air of mystery about him. Why so much purple, yet no green? Why so many similar stripes, yet not one plaid? And why almost always the four-in-hand, yet rarely the Windsor? Sadly, we may never know.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Martini Metaphor

Not seen since 27 April, this tie makes a stunning re-emergence. And I still feel a sense of numbing ambivalence, not unlike the feeling imparted by that second vodka martini up, dirty, with bleu cheese olives on an empty stomach. But I digress. This tie, an icy pale violet blue with crocodilian welts of deeper violet blue pebbling it in a precise pattern, simply does not interest me. The color is familiar, as is the foulard pattern. Bring this tie to me in pine forest, Brian, or in a bold stroke of David Gregory-esque pink, and then we can have a discussion, perhaps. Until then, bring me another martini.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

A Gentle Reminder From Brian

* Again with the Deep Space blue shafted by solar yellow bands? Yet, I prefer to believe that Brian Williams repeated this cravat in exactly one week not because he is careless and ill-served by his fashion sense, but because he wished to give me one more look at this tie to more firmly fix it in my mind that it is not, as I had erroneously labeled (or libeled) it previously, the dreaded Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. Merci, mon cheri. Je comprends maintenant.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

A Palate-Cleansing Solid Is Offered By Brian

It has been quite some time since we've had a palate-cleansing solid cravat, and BW offers one tonight with a hyacinth blue matte silk. This tie made its debut on 6 June and hadn't been seen since. The color is reminiscent of little periwinkle vinca flowers peeping from behind glossy green leaves. Green, Brian. Also a fine tie color. Time to work that into the rotation. Sigh.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Weathered Fence Topped By A Summer Sky

Tonight's tie, not a fan favorite, is a stripe which reminds me of the view outside my western bedroom window: the neigbor's grey weathered fence, topped by a span of sky which, on most summer mornings, is a satisfyingly pleasant blue. It's not distasteful, but it's not remarkable or inspiring, either.

On another note, this correction to the 19 July Tie: most definitely NOT Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. Upon further review and perusal of The Archives, the tie in question was found to be the Debut Tie of 21 June. Please read germane Tie Reports from Archive site as necessary.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Bested By The Cleveland NBC Affiliate, The Tie Is In Question

* Fie on you, Cleveland NBC affiliate! Again you thwart me by pre-empting The Nightly News with an Indians Baseball Pregame Show! I am forced to assess BW's tie as a pixellated imperfection and wrestle with the subtleties of color, texture, and knot. As a result, I am perplexed, flummoxed, and befuddled. Is this a Debut Tie of deep navy with rose stripes, or is it the hideous Tribute to Dora the Explorer Tie of dark violet and fuschia? To compound my misery, the Indians lost 6-2 to the Boston Red Sox in an alarming display of impotent starting pitching.

Friday, July 20, 2007

This Tie Is Making Me Fussy

*Now, this tie is really starting to frost my fashion cupcakes. Again, Brian ties on the now-horrific stained-glass, mosaic, psychotropic drug-induced, Timothy Leary tribute tie most recently worn on July 1st. I am beginning to feel downright testy about this tie, cranky in the extreme about this cravat. I'm ready to admit Thursday's tie back into the fold and confer pariah status onto Friday's. I have much to consider this weekend. Do weigh in.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Is It...THE Tie?

*Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. At least, I think so. I now have to confess: it has been so long since BW wore this tie, and add to that the fact that I viewed this on the webcast, that I'm not entirely certain that this tie, a bottle blue with canary stripe, is The Tie. I didn't find it too horrid, actually, this time. Maybe I'm over it, if it really was The Tie. After all, he hasn't worn It since June 7th. It's all in the pacing, really.

Update 7/24: This tie report has been modified. See report of 7/24 for details.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Bold, Stripey, Complex: A Debut Cravat

Tonight is not only a Debut Tie, but it also marks a first for the Tie Report in that I actually had to grab a pen and paper to diagram this tie, so complex is it in its bold stripiness! Wide grape stripes are bordered by alternating bands of whisper-light chambray blue shot with a dark cable of navy; another contrasting element is a narrow rose stripe. The effect is bold and arresting. This is another tie of generous cut tied with a four-in-hand, but not as deeply dimpled. So taken was I by the audacity of this cravat, the sheer bravura of it, that I have not yet decided if I quite approve. One thing is for certain--like the woman who wears red to a funeral, you have to award points for chutzpah.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

BW Is Tres Charmant In His Mulled Wine Cravat

The background of this cravat is the color of warm, mulled cabernet franc spiced with tawny cinnamon. The white pinstripes are so sharp that, should you need to straighten the knot or its deep, single dimple, you could actually feel the edge of each stripe slightly raised under your fingertip. The cut of this tie is a bit wide, but not ostentatious. It looks rich and grand. Even sans les stripes, it would be tres charmant.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Blueberries & Milk: Stripes Again

Brian returns to a tried and true stripe, this one reminiscent of a summery breakfast of blueberries mounded invitingly in a moat of ice cold milk. The color combination is crisp and clean, and this cravat gives its wearer a look of cool polish and finesse. As stripes go, this one is not bad.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Vacation Homework Is Done: Classic Cravat

* Tonight marks the return of the lovely debut tie of June 12th, the beautiful classic cravat of a wine background with the traditional print done in sky and pewter. This cravat is reminiscent of a vintage tophat hatband or lining, or even perhaps the daring lining of a morning coat glimpsed as a gentlemen alights from a hansom cab. Quite nice. Well done.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Yikes. The Purple Houndstooth.

*I gotta tell ya: viewing these ties on the webcast makes for a tough situation when Brian goes for the small patterns. I'm going out on a limb here and making the call that this evening's tie is the horrific tiny purple houndstooth number last seen on May 2nd. It would seem that BW himself realizes that this tie is a loser; he only wears it, at most, once a month. Perhaps the techs in the booth have complained about the fact that it's just visually unpleasant and difficult to light since the minute pattern gives the impression of OpArt motion. Perhaps he just understands that the tie is ugly. One thing is certain, he's not reading The Report, or he'd have ditched far more of his cravats and lengthened the repeat cycles of a few more. Ahem.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

The Heavy Rotation Begins To Wear Upon Us...

* Sigh. Brian, Brian, Brian. I used to like this tie. But, as I predicted on 25 June, its weary stripe is the epitome of the axiom 'familiarity breeds contempt.' This innocuous little number of Delft blue and clay is now tiresome and vapid. You have allowed it, through relentless repetition after its May 23rd debut, to grind upon our aesthetic. We are all close to the edge on this tie. Let's give it a wee rest, shall we?

Monday, July 9, 2007

Vacation Homework Assignment #1

*A Debut Tie! Please forgive this week's Reports; they are going to be somewhat lacking, in that they will all be viewed on the webcast. I had to catch up on the entire week of 7/9 through 7/12 due to being away on vacation.

Brian's cravate nouveaux looks to be an icy hyacinth jacquard resembling the strange knit ties that became popular in the 1980s. Either that, or it is the companion tie of the charcoal grey dotted tie of 26 June which reminded me of currency engraving. Either way, its color is reminiscent of a girl's prom dress, or of the era of pastel business suits for women, wherein said women could still look competent and powerful without sacrificing their femininity. I always thought they looked like rather leggy Easter eggs. Be that as it may, Brian clearly thinks he's getting away with a sorta purple tie here with no stripes. I'm reserving judgment until I see it "live."

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Back To The 40s With Scarlet And Grey Stripes

First, let me apologize for the erroneous dating of my 2 previous catch-up tie reports. That's what I get for lagging behind and watching the webcasts in a row. Now, on to la cravate du jour! Tonight's tie marks a triumphant return to The Vintage Series of mid-February; its rich grey and scarlet stripe is knotted with a single-dimpled Windsor close to the throat. Its cut is generous and almost voluptuous. Oh, how I do love this tie! It hearkens back to the 1940s, those days of the three-button double-breasted suits with wide lapels and smart tailoring. Can't you just picture BW, one leg up on the running board of say, a 1942 Chrysler New Yorker, giving the brim of his snazzy Fedora a snap? Oh, in this tie? I most certainly can.

Monday, July 2, 2007

No One Looks Good In Metallic Gold: See My Hyperlink

* Sigh. Brian, this tie is so misbegotten, so ill-conceived, so garish that it is a fashion faux-pas for everyone who attempts its basic premise. Allow me, if I might, to present as proof, Exhibit A. I think I've more than made my point here.