Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
*In typical Cleveland, Ohio mentality, The NBC Nightly News was pre-empted by an Indians baseball game. It mattered not that Typhoid Murray had flown to four separate locations or that a Chinook helicopter crashed and lives were lost or that most of our hotel art comes from China. NO! Nor did it matter, apparently, that Brian decided to take again the fashion risk of 22 February and wear the violet tie with gauche narrow white diagonal stripes. This tie is so incredibly tacky and misbegotten that I refuse to believe it is not either A) a gift from Mrs. Williams; B) a gift from a Hurricane Katrina survivor; C) a "dare" tie; or, D) a memento from a colleague who has gone to that Big Newsroom In The Sky. There simply is no other reason for it.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:44 PM
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Oh no. In a shocking display of nonchalance, Brian has repeated his putty-and-Wedgwood blue striped tie in only 6 days' time. This repeat cycle is bested (worsted?) only by the dreaded Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me, which had a five-day repeat cycle. I am speechless. I am without speech. Every time Bri goes on location, this time to Boston, (Hey, Anali, did you see him?) his neckwear and, ultimately, his viewers, are what suffer. Apparently, my speech has returned. Not unlike the aforementioned tie. Sigh.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:42 PM
Friday, May 25, 2007
*This bold, almost graphics-inspired narrow stripe of black and white might be reminiscent of football referees, zebras, or convicts to some of you, but for me, it's a winner. I like the edgy contrast and commanding simplicity of this cravat. This is not a namby pamby tie for a guy who wants to stand in the corner and nurse along a glass of chablis. This is a tie for a man who leans on the bar, orders a Scotch, neat, and surveys the room for a foreign dignitary. He then walks up to the national in question and addresses her by name, impeccably pronouncing it, and speaks to her in her native tongue, every nuance of the language assiduously observed. She laughs softly, and then she dares to touch his arm. An attache across the room moves in ever so deftly, but there is no need; our man--and his tie--have moved on.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:41 PM
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Oh, this tie. As soon as Brian appeared on screen, I felt trepidation. The long shot was misleading, for I knew he owned no solid yellow tie, and that his repetoire of this shade was not, shall we say, promising. When the tight shot came, my heart sank: it was April 30th all over again. Brian had donned his garish satin Salute to The Miss Universe Evening Gown Competition tie. Its high-gloss flecked gold-on-gold shone from his chest like the paillettes on a teenager's purse. I had no stomach for it. It was as if he had mugged a thirteen-year-old coming out of a Claire's and, in a MacGyver-esque maneuver, used the raw materials of her shopping bag to fashion his cravat. Eeeew, Brian Williams. Eeeeew.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:40 PM
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
After missing Brian's tie last night and seeing only an unsatisfying rendition of it on the webcast, I was feeling very dedicated to tonight's viewing. I cannot recall this particular tie, a lovely variation of the French blue and vanilla. This one is the same sized stripes, but of cornflower and putty. I believe the knot was a four-in-hand and not a Windsor as well, for it was long and doubly-dimpled. This tie is a metaphor for Brian himself: the putty is staid and serious, while the cornflower is a bit of a wink and a smile. That might work on me tonight, Bri, but you've got a long way to go to make up for the Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me. A long way.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:38 PM
Monday, May 21, 2007
A quick consult with the Tie Report Archives confirmed it: tonight's tie is new. This evening's offering was a light cadet blue with narrow navy stripes. It looked to be of quality fabric, probably silk, and the knot was controlled and fine. The fabric was full but not thick, and the cut was generous. This was not a department store tie, but one to almost mark a return to the now legendary Glory Days Of Ties, circa early February, when Brian trotted out the series of vintage-look ties. Those were the halcyon days, my friends...but, in the words of the immortal Robert Frost, "nothing gold can stay."
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:36 PM
Friday, May 18, 2007
On location in New Orleans, Brian was sans cravate ce soir. Sadly, he was also sans la mode. (No, not "without ice cream." The phrase, for all non-French speakers means "without fashion.") For BW was sporting what was so very obviously a shirt newly liberated from its packaging. The crease marks were clearly fold lines, and not from a suitcase, either. Even my husband said, "That shirt looks like it just came out of the wrapper!" And it wasn't even a casual shirt made to wear without a tie; no, this shirt was a dressy shirt with the roundpoint collar to prove it. It was light blue, but not a rugged chambray or denim in keeping with the outdoorsy get-down-to-work, get-NOLA-back-on-its-feet theme of the broadcast lead. No way did BW forget to pack a decent shirt and, even if he did, do you mean to tell me that there's no service in the hotel or on the NBC staff to press a shirt? Or that BW can't wield a steam iron? I find that hard to believe. Methinks there is trouble.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:35 PM
Thursday, May 17, 2007
THE TIE! It was back on April 9, 2007 that I conferred Favourite Tie status upon this very cravat, with its aloof, subtle pink and Wedgwood blue diagonal stripes. At first glance, the colors are murky and undefined; once the camera comes in, the tints assert themselves like a handpainted photograph from the 1940s. This tie is subtle and beautiful and artistic. It is a welcome reminder of the fashion potential of one Brian Williams.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:34 PM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
This is the little sister of last night's tie: midnight blue but with a jazzy red stripe. Whereas the Tie Which Shall No Longer Be Reviewed And Is Now Dead To Me has overstayed its welcome (a la the Mark Twain fish and visitors rule), this little number hasn't been seen since March 29th. That zippy red evokes verboten things like trying on tester lipsticks in the drugstore or sneaking a gummy bear from the bag of bulk candy before you weigh it, or grabbing and eating strawberries from the plants as you pick your own at the roadside farm. I'm not in love with this tie, and I could easily hold it in mild disdain should it appear in heavy rotation, but that red; it saves it.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:32 PM
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
In an unheralded and, I must say shamefully brief recycling period, Brian Williams resorted to wearing yet again the stodgy and somnambulistic midnight blue with narrow goldenrod stripe tie for his London broadcast tonight. This repeat cycle is unprecedented. This tie was worn on May 3rd, May 10th, and now on May 15th. Its repetition so continually and so rapidly is, quite simply, inexcusable, both in the fashion world and in the milieu of polite societal norms. This tie has seen its day; it has seen the day of its brethren as well, has its appearance been so frequent and so ubiquitous. It has had its turn and the turn of countless cravats. Where is the sassy burgundy geometric tie of 12 February? Or the now-ordained Favourite Tie of April 9, with its cool pink and blue diagonals? I am sensing trouble at Chez Williams, and ce n'est pas jolie.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:30 PM
Monday, May 14, 2007
Tonight, I am taken completely by surprise. A new cravat! This one is a frosty hyacinth with a crisp pattern of small white windowpanes, each barely the size of a curious child's fingertip, placed at precise intervals. The knot was somewhat looser than usual, as if the fabric were whispery and a bit textured, making the Windsor generous. It is a cool, urbane tie with an underlying tinge of sensuality. One might wonder just how it would feel to loosen that knot.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Brian is in Stripe Mode: Thursday's tie, his midnight blue and goldenrod number, and last night, the French blue and vanilla. I'm bored and uninspired by the former, and have already waxed poetic on the latter. I need a break from these oft repeated ties, and he's simply not cooperating. That Bri--somewhat of a Cravat Curmudgeon.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
This is Brian Williams' little nautical number, a blue and white striped tie with a breezy, Nantucket feel about it. It's a tie we've seen at least twice before, and it's a sort of palate cleanser after his heavy purple rotation of late. It evokes grey, weathered porches facing the beach, sandy blankets being dragged back up the grassy cliff, and grabbing an oversized white Oxford shirt to wear over your slightly damp bathing suit. You grab that red and white beachball before the slight gust of wind blows it out the screen door, and head back inside to make Cape Codders. Not a terrible tie, and not purple, at least.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:26 PM
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Okay, so...this is yet another repeat tie, this time of the April 3 tie, which was the confusing stained-glass-looking patterny thingie tie that really looks like yet another purple tie--yawn--but isn't when you get up close. But who cares? I am sick of this neverending Parade O' Purple. Until BW busts out of this Violet Funk, until he breaks the Cycle of Repetitive Routine, I am on strike. It's hard to wax poetic or engender enthusiasm when one is disappointed nightly by torpid ties.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:25 PM
Monday, May 7, 2007
I am speechless. I am...without speech. It is The Perpetual Tie. The Eternity Tie. The Tie That Will Not Die. We saw it on April 19. We saw it on April 26--twice, due to the MSNBC Democratic Candidates' Debate. We saw it on May 1. And now, we must see it AGAIN. This plain, lilac raw silk cravat is the fashion equivalent of the movie "Groundhog Day." Oh, except for the part WHERE I'M NOT LAUGHING!!
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:23 PM
Friday, May 4, 2007
What's this? In a bit of a stunner, Brian Williams takes a sidestep off the Path o' Purple, a detour from the Rue de la Routine, and tonight knotted up a cravat of solid claret. This necktie reminds me of early December, when I can enjoy the first wave of Georges du Boeuf's Beaujolais Nouveau, a pretty wine with good color and pleasant, fruity drinkability. It's a lovely wine in its own way, but you don't take it too seriously. In other words, Brian, this Beaujolais-colored tie doesn't get you off the hook with me. I sure hope you get some new ties today for your birthday.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:21 PM
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Brian Williams donned a new tie in observance of My Birthday; it was a vintage foulard pattern of lush, verdant forest green and...oh, forget it. Who am I kidding? He wore the same blah--er--blue tie with gall--er--gold annoying--er--narrow stripes that he wore on 2/19 and 4/18. I am bored by this somnambulent cravat. It is soporific, vapid, and tiresome. It should be employed by mothers of colicky babies. It should be marketed as a holistic alternative to Ambien and Lunesta. It should zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:20 PM
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
At least we haven't seen this tie for almost a month. But, we have seen it. Who could forget it? The glimmering miniature purple houndstooth pattern on a white background is not something I can soon forget, no matter how hard I've tried. Upon first glance, I thought Brian had committed a second fashion faux pas and repeated the solid grape tie in speedy procession, but no: as soon as the camera closed in, I groaned in true dismay. This tie is, to put it nicely, regrettable; to put it more strongly, ugly; to put it Nancely, hideous to the point of making me want to declare it the Official Tie of Wal*Mart Shoppers Everywhere. Sigh. I am spent.
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:19 PM
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
What do April 19, April 26, and May 1 all have in common? THE SAME FREAKING SOLID LAVENDER TIE THAT I AM SO BORED WITH THAT I WANT TO RIP MY OWN SPLEEN OUT AND FLING IT AGAINST THE WALL! Do you think Mrs. Williams and he had a fight and she gave him only, like, 5 minutes to grab some clothes and get the hell out? Because this is a major, major repeat cycle, according to the archives. If that is the case, then, Mrs. Williams, I'm begging you: send some ties C.O.D. and P.D.Q. I can't take much more of this!
Brought to Life by Nance at 2:17 PM